


My love will never die..

by The_LucidDreamer



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Brothers, F/M, Hurt Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Hurt/Comfort, Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV) Devil Reveal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:09:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 58,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27591176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_LucidDreamer/pseuds/The_LucidDreamer
Summary: Lucifer's world came crashing down when The Detective saw his face. What if she never left LA for a vacation, instead fired Lucifer and despised him, making him feel that he was very much unwanted in her life.. And what if Eve was never on earth. How would both of them cope? Would everything go back to normal?Re-editing in progress.*happyish ending.. * maybe..
Relationships: Amenadiel & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Linda Martin & Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)
Comments: 315
Kudos: 354





	1. Abandoned.. Again.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so you guys appreciated a lot for my previous work Flawed, so here I am back with another one.. Buckle up guys, this will be hella angsty. 
> 
> Oh, and the updates will be weekly. I am getting busy these days, so not daily updates, but I hope each chapter will be worth the wait.

"Chloe, I really am the devil.. "  
And here came the time for sentence. He didn't believe he actually did this - The Devil, Lucifer freaking Morningstar; he just split open his rib and gave his heart to the woman in front of him. And now it was up to her to crush that beating heart and stomp it under her boots of rejection or to embrace it with her love.   
Lucifer felt his heart beating erratically like a wounded bird trapped in the cage. Fear seeped into his vein like ice and he waited with abated breath. Waited for her answer, her acceptance or rejection.

The moment came not too long after. The woman gave her answer and Lucifer heaved a sigh he didn't know he was holding.

"No you are not, not to me.. " Chloe sincerely replied, her eyes beaming will so much love that Lucifer found himself drowning in them. She cupped his jaw, to support him silently and all his walls crumpled down. He was finally going to be happy - that one notion he didn't even imagine for eons. And the reason was standing right in front of him. At least one human, saw him past the monster people claimed him to be.. At least there would be one lady who will love him for who he was. And maybe love wasn't that bad; love for her wasn't bad at all. And he leaned in to kiss that goddess..

***********

"No more metaphors, i already said, you might look at yourself like that, but you are not.. " The detective said..

"Lately even I am not seeing myself in that way.. " He smiled with a softness he didn't know he had. As much as the time was wrong, the place was wrong - they had a psychotic Criminal mastermind to arrest, one look at her and he already itched to pull her close and give into the overwhelming sensation his heart was fluttering for.  
When had he felt this ecstatic?! Surely this had to be _her_ charm - a part of her being a miracle. Right?

He had finally let someone this close in his too long, immortal life; Linda would be so proud of him that he finally got hold of his emotions - the very ones he found inconvenient before.

Chloe made him a better person, a good man. And he dared to think that he found Redemption with her. She had accepted all his shenanigans and bits and bytes, who knew maybe Chloe would accept him even after seeing his wings - the literal proof of him being the Devil? He would have to show her real soon and as much as he was terrified of her reaction, the revelation would be a necessary evil and she deserved to know. And if she wouldn't accept him...Well... He didn't want to walk on that particular eggshell now.   
Surely she would accept him right? That's what she had been telling him since the beginning of their partnership?

She had known him for years, she should know that the Devil was nothing but a jolly, innocent business man. She should know that he is not capable of anything evil, even if the world around him claimed him to be the King of Evil.. Right? Chloe would know that? Wouldn't she?   
And Lucifer allowed that beacon of light to glow in the deepest corner of his heart - hope.

**********  
It felt as if some unknown cosmic force was choking the life out of him, drawing out whatever remnants of hope and happiness he prayed for.

The whole world came crashing right in front of him.. That look in her eyes - it was anything but love, full of disgust, horror and hatred. He knew that look too well. That was the look he saw in every criminal's face when they would witness the monstrosity of a certain charred, grotesque face. That was the look he would see in every damned soul begging for their life, trying to get out of their guilt.

It was the look of repulsion, hatred, fear.

Hatred was bad enough.. But when hatred would mix with fear, that was even worse. Those serene blue eyes, which were like a relaxing sea wave washing away all the wariness, were now simmering with cold terror. He knew why - red, charred skin of his, those fiery red eyes, the lifeless corpse of Cain lying in front of them, all of them screaming and merging into cacaphony telling he was a monster.. Evil..

_No! Not like this! NOT LIKE THIS!_

Thoughts were waste. Actions were waste. Nothing could be undone.   
Minutes stretched like a glacier - fanning into an eternity with nothing but a dread silence - calm before the storm.   
None of them moved a muscle. Lucifer waited again. Waited for his sentence while his stomach flip flopped and the world went squeeshy.

Then it finally happened.

Chloe scrambled back from him and Lucifer's heart shot out of his throat.

_When he killed Pierce, there was a satisfaction in him, a mild happiness to see him die. He knew he was breaking that one rule of his dad - killing humans and yet..._

_Yet he felt free. As if he didn't just kill someone a moment ago. As if Cain wasn't bleeding out on the floor, as if he wasn't just squatting in front of him amusing himself with the sight of Cain's death. He ignored the voice telling him 'Don't enjoy' in the back of his mind. He was the Devil and it was high time to embrace it. And he felt like one._

_Then the same smooth and silky voice called out his name. And all the thoughts of watching Cain to die just... vanished away. Because the Detective was what mattered now. She was all that mattered to him. Cain tried to kill Chloe and Lucifer punished him for it. He didn't feel remorse. But he felt relief. Relief because Chloe was safe._

_So he turned back. He expected her to ask him whether he was okay or maybe a hug or anything other than what she did. She stepped back, her eyes widening with hatred and terror_.

Chloe pulled out her gun from the holster, aiming it towards him.

"Detective?"   
Surely this had to be a joke! His Chloe would never point a gun on him!   
He blinked the cloud forming around his vision. He blinked once, twice - beyond hoping that the sight unfolding in front of him was nothing but a hallucination. But it didn't. Chloe was still standing with her gun aimed at him, without the safety lock.

And then he realised, a deadly stab in his heart, tearing it into two pieces. He reached for his face instinctively touching the leathery skin, taking in its unevenness. If there would have been any moment when the Devil would be terrified - this was it.

"Stay back. Please stay back. " It was barely a whisper, but he heard it. And in that moment he felt Death would have been better than this.

Lucifer nodded.. "Right, of course.. "

The words were inaudible, but to his soul it screamed, deafening his feelings. His face turned back to the handsome angelic form as it was.. The red eyes were now dark brown with the soulful chocolaty essence. And he just stood there, seeing her.

"You.. It's all true.. It's all true.. " She mumbled shakily, as she stumbled back, falling on one of the stairs behind her. Lucifer immediately tried to rush to her aid, but was stopped as she raised a finger at him, warning him to stop.   
He froze.

The Detective didn't want him close.

She didn't want him.

"Don't, don't come near me.. " She said, almost spat the words..   
He could feel the knife twisting around his gut with those words. He didn't know what to do.

"Chloe.. I.. "

"Don't! You....oh my god! .. You are the Devil! All this time, what you were saying.. It's all true.. I.. I let myself... " She trailed off.. The Hall was silent, both of them struggling to form words, but failing spectacularly and the only thing audible were the distant sirens of the police vans..

They were miles apart now.

As the police arrived, they found Chloe shocked sitting on the stairs. Lucifer silently saw them taking her to the medics for inspection, and covering her with the shock blanket..

She _wa_ s in shock after all...

While Dan and Ella investigated the scene, Lucifer retired himself to the corner of the Hall, shrinking as much as possible making himself too small and unthreatening for her sake; his eyes never leaving Chloe and hers never meeting his.

"Where did these come from? " The forensic scientist gaped at the bloodied feathers on the floor. Lucifer saw her inspecting one of them,unlike any bird's feathers they were quite huge, ethereal and pretty real, of course they were real! They were from his bloody wings! And immediately he felt Amenadiel's voice echoing in his mind - ' _Humanity and divinity don't mix! '_  
Funnily, Lucifer was not at all concerned. Rather he was too knackered to be concerned, so he just 'bottled it'..   
The forensics couldn't place the evidence with the scene, and it was then Dan walked up to Lucifer with his douchy notebook. He saw Dan approach, but didn't come up with any quip. Truth to be told, he was mentally exhausted and emotionally in a mess.. It was as if a black hole was made in his heart, slowly sucking out his life.

"Look man, I am not really in a mood to talk to you, especially after everything happened with Charlotte.. But Chloe seems pretty shaken and I don't want to push her at this moment. So you seem to be the one who is gonna talk about what happened here exactly.. " Dan said, pretty much in a bitter and harsh tone, which successfully punched Lucifer's gut again.  
So much for feeling a void. "And I am pretty sure Chloe is in shock because of you, or whatever you did. So I am gonna ask you again, what happened? "  
Lucifer felt like he had been sucker punched by the truth and soon enough the void seemed to be replaced by a familiar heat bubbling beneath his skin. Anger.   
Only if he could just snap. Sadly enough, he was not supposed to make things more complicated.

"I killed Pierce. " He said as nonchalantly as possible,as if that never mattered to him, as if his world didn't just end,as if he didn't think of dying the very next moment as if Chloe 's reaction didn't break him. But he refused to show his vulnerability. So he did what he could do best - he put his facade on. He pretended.

But all he could think about was Chloe.

Had she really decided he was evil? All those promises, those assurance were nothing? Just hollow talks? She thought he was a monster.  
And It hurt, more than any thing else, more than his fall, more than the burn..

"Well, I can see that. But it better be self defense.. " Dan replied.

"It was.. He shot the Detective, and then tried to kill me with the same blade plunged to his chest. I just reacted. " He shrugged.

"Why is Chloe shocked? I mean, she is pretty much trained for these situation.. And-"

"She saw the devil. " Lucifer smiled sadly, it was hollow and painful making even Dan flinch a bit. Lucifer felt the burn behind his eyes. No he won't cry. Not in front of them.  
Blinking the unshed tears away vigorously he looked around to see Ella joining them with a bag which sealed the blade.. Holding it in front of Lucifer she said,

"Woah, look at this man! It's so unique.. Circular and hella sharp. "

"Yes, I am aware Miss Lopez, " Lucifer was about to snap, just one push and he would seriously lose it..

"Oh.. I mean.. I thought.. Okay never mind. Dan, I found feathers all over the place.. "

"Feathers? " Dan interrupted.

"They were mine. " Lucifer informed and he got the reaction exactly what he expected. Ignorance.   
Well, at least that wasn't so bad.

Because bad was not even close to what happened between him and the Detective. And soon enough, his urge to throw up kicked in. His eyes burnt and throat pained and the ache in his heart increased manifold. He could feel his back soaked with blood from his wings and he couldn't risk pressing that particular button in front of the humans and melting their brains again. Not after what happened with Chloe. He had to get away, or else...

"Okay, can I leave now, I am really very exhausted and I think I am no longer required here. literally, my job is done here, forever.." Lucifer added silently.

Dan and Ella looked at him and then at the scene for a moment longer processing Lucifer's requirements, before letting a reluctant nod.. "Okay Bud, I think you deserve some rest. And its only the paper work left now.. " Ella pat on his shoulders, but he shoved it anyway, his mind was too full of everything. He needed to get away, to regain himself, to pick up the broken parts shattered already..

He walked towards the front door, before leaving he shot a quick glance at Chloe across the room. She locked her eyes with him only for a fraction of second before turning away in evident disgust.. He felt sick. And without any second thoughts, he left the scene..

**********

Fear was an astonishing thing.   
Most of the humans had no idea what fear could do to them.   
Chloe wasn't an exception.   
Her whole body reeked of fear now. Fear of Lucifer. No. Fear of the Devil - the term she didn't even believe a few days ago.   
It took her an hour to stop shaking. An hour of repeating the mantra 'I can take him if he tries to hurt me. ' and an hour of silently screaming in the room full of people to gain the least amount of sanity to just talk.

Did sanity work when her whole world was surrounded by insanity?

Oh damn!

The Devil was real! God was real!   
How would she deal with them!? How would she protect herself?!

She checked the scene again for Lucifer, but he already left. Good.  
It was too much.   
Everything was too much for her now. So when Dan offered to drive her back to the precinct,she didn't protest. Maybe that was what she needed now? To be surrounded by people, for her own safety?   
Throughout the ride, she was looking at the Devil's information on Google, reading interviews of priests, satanic cults and the Bishop.   
She didn't know what to believe.   
What she found was simply unmatching with the Lucifer she had known for three years, but she didn't care, did she? She just saw his Devil face, and he killed a man in cold blood, and he was smiling when he turned around! Smiling! And all those years she actually cared for the Devil! Kissed him even! The very thought, made her throat bitter with the uprising bile and made her nauseous. She let the Devil enter her life?! Why!?? Fear coiled in her gut like a roller coaster. Would she go to hell for staying with the Evil incarnate?

After getting grilled a bit by the external officers and doing a heavy paperwork, she sat on her desk idly.. Her gaze was empty, and she was fidgeting with the hem of her shirt as she tried to process everything she has been through the day. It was late evening, past eight and her shift was already over. Ella was really busy with all the new evidence that she didn't have the time to pop her head up.. It wasn't until Dan practically shouting her name that she lifted her head to meet his.

"Hey Chloe, are you okay? "

Chloe nodded without even registering the question.. And maybe Dan noticed that, he knew her too well. So he tried again,

"I broke my leg. "

Chloe nodded again, the same reaction. And Dan snapped his fingers to bring her back. She jolted as she finally looked at him, confused.. "Have you been hearing anything I said? " Dan asked..

"Umm.. Sorry, it's just.. It's been a long day. "

"Yeah I know, so you should be heading home now, why are you here? You have been cleared of the troubles, why are you worried? "

"I know Dan, it's just.. "

"Is it about Lucifer killing Pierce? "

_Not again!_

Chloe paled.. The thought of him standing in front of Pierce, wearing that monstrous face made her blood cold.. And Dan knew he was on the right direction. "Look Chlo, I right now hate Lucifer.. But as much as I love to see him suffer, all he did was to defend himself.. Right? And -"

"I don't want Lucifer Morningstar to be my partner anymore Dan. " Chloe abruptly cut him, and rose from her chair. How she managed to keep her voice firm, she had no idea. She couldn't do this. She couldn't work with the literal Devil. The evil incarnate.

It was the best to throw Lucifer out of her life. Like he never existed. That would be the best for all. For her, for Trixie, for Dan, for Ella for everyone. And she would do anything to protect them from the Evil.

Dan pulled back, thoroughly surprised, "What? "

"Yes Dan, I.. I don't want to work with him anymore. "

"But why? What happened? I mean I thought you liked Lucifer, he has been here for three years and-"

"Things change Dan" Chloe said rather coldly. Desperately trying not to shiver.. But the name Lucifer was now something she wanted to avoid..

"Chloe is there something you are not telling me? What exactly happened at the scene back there? Was it not a self defense act? Did he hurt you? "

"I DON'T KNOW DAN! " Chloe snapped, pretty much getting all the attention from the other officers.. "I was shot, and I lost sense and then I woke up on a rooftop, and then in the blink of the eye he was not there, then you called and then I heard gunshots, I came down to find Marcus dead and him hovering over the body!! " She said almost breathlessly, her tone covered with the frustration and terror she had pent up.

She felt his arms around her in an instant and leaned in to his touch, not romantically, but at that moment it comforted her. "Chlo, I want you to think over it. Works for me that Lucifer will not be here. Screw him, but still...are you sure Chlo? "

Chloe inhaled a long breath, before breaking apart.. She looked at Dan before replying. "I am completely sure Dan. I don't want him as my partner, neither as my friend. " Getting the Devil to be a friend! That was ridiculous! "I don't want him in my life any more! And please Dan, don't ask me why, I cant say that to you. " Any and all thought about him NOT being the evil was pushed out of the window.

Dan nodded. Even if he looked baffled by her response. Chloe thanked him silently for not pushing her. She could not handle reliving the trauma right now.

********

Lucifer trudged through the elevator into the penthouse, as soon as he got inside, he shrugged his shoulders and the white pure wings, now covered with blood, stretched out evenly on both sides.. He was in pain, those wings were rather uncomfortable when tucked back and he could hear the bones breaking and the blood dripping, with his every breath.. It had been a long ride to Lux, but to be honest, he wasn't feeling anything.. Just a numbness, enveloping him, an irritating numbness, The pain in his wings seemed to be a good comfort now, at least pain was better than the void he was in..

Chloe just needed time.. She would process his devil face, maybe she would punch him in the face, or just shout at him, maybe even run away.. But she would come back right? She would let him in her life right? He knew he didn't deserve her.. She was a goddess, and he was a monster, but still if she allowed him to even see her, it was all he needed. Chloe would not abandon him right? Just like the others? Not after everything they've been through? That hatred in her face, the fear - it had to go away with time. It had to... He begged. Because he didn't know what he would do if Chloe would hate for the rest of her life.

Lucifer kept consoling himself, kept convincing himself as he downed his hundredth glass of whiskey that evening. His wings were still spread out, but they drooped low, brushing on the floor. The injuries almost healed and the new feathers started growing at the parts where bullets hit him. The city lights outside glowed like stars, lending their brightness to the abnormally dimmed penthouse. Lucifer was sitting on the bar, with his head in his hands, he didn't even realise when his cheeks were wet with the got burning tears he had been suppressing for hours. He let them roll off. There was no one to watch him cry like a baby.   
In hell, crying was a weakness and the King didn't cry. But now he didn't give a damn. He couldn't suppress the tears anymore. It was too much.

He didn't even care to change his bloody clothes, his hair ruffled and he felt like a shit. . He was convincing himself that Chloe just needed time.. Honestly he was not sure what he would do if Chloe seriously rejects him forever.. Probably he would go back to hell? But no he won't, seemed a tad bit dramatic? He would move on maybe, be the previous Lucifer again, diving himself into partying, sex and drugs and alcohol.. No strings attached.. Could he? Could he move on? Could he go back to the life pre Chloe? He didn't know.. And honestly he hoped that he didn't have to know. His Detective would never do that to him?

And then his phone buzzed.. He huffed. Couldn't anyone give him some time to mop!?

He pulled out the phone from his pocket and clicked Answer.. It wasn't a saved number.

"Hello, Mr Morningstar? " The voice on the other side spoke. A sturdy, manly voice.

"Hmm."

"I am Lt. Joe Hack, the temporary lieutanant of this department. I suppose, you are partner to Detective Decker? "

Lucifer's chest tightened as Chloe was mentioned. He breathed heavily, to gather himself up. His tipsiness was already starting to sober up and the dredged emotions were already swelling up.. "Yes. " How inconvenient.

"Well, you both seemed to have a pretty good closure rate, and everyone in the department can vouch for your friendship. I don't know why this turned up. "

"What? "

"Detective Decker has submitted a notice to dissolve you from being her partner. The letter is with me right now. So I called you to ask if you have got any problem with this you can definitely solve this. "

This was it, time to face the greatest fear which finally came true.. The Detective didn't want time, she wanted him out of her life. He clenched his fists so hard that it could draw blood from the nails digging in his palms, leaving deep crescent impressions on them. He took a moment to control himself. He couldn't..

"I suppose she does have a problem with me Lieutenant. If that's what she desires, I will happily step back from being her partner. " Lucifer said, his voice trembling as an invisible hammer was beating the crap out of his ribs. He would not happily step back, but he would step back if that's what Chloe wants..

"Are you sure Mr Morningstar? "

"Yes."

"Then It seems I will simply have to place you with another detective. "

"No lieutanant, you see I and the Detective come as package, she was always forward in accepting my unconventional methods of helping to solve the cases, but I don't see any other detective accepting me as their partner. What I meant by stepping back was, I would simply quit the LAPD job. I will hand over my resignation tomorrow. "

"Mr Morningstar you quite an asset for this department, from what I heard, you are really good with suspects and you have connections that make the case easier to solve. Since your position as the Consultant is unpaid, you won't be officially resigned. You can come back at any time near future to assist of cases, or the LAPD may approach you if they need anything. But surely you can hand over the resignation letter tomorrow if that's what you want. " Joe informed.

And Lucifer didn't argue, although he said silently, 'oh I assure you lieutenant, nobody will want me.' "Okay Lieutenant.. "

"See you around Mr Morningstar. "

"Yes." Lucifer hung the phone and immediately after, threw it as far as possible, the phone collided with the artesian wall beside the bedroom and broke into pieces, the screen shattering all over. And then he threw the glass he was fiddling with all along, and soon the bottle and then another.. Until pieces of glasses were all over his floor, and he crumbled on the floor, vibrating like a caged animal in anger and suppressed sobs.

It was all empty promises, when Chloe said she didn't see him as the Devil, he should have known better. He was till now just a delusional patient for her, who sympathised with him. And sympathy was not love. He should have known, even with his father's intervention, he was never meant for love.. Who can love the devil after all?! He should have known better, before letting her in, before dropping his guard, before loving her.. He should have known better.

And now he was abandoned. She abandoned him. Again. 


	2. Regression..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought of giving weekly updates before, but then I was reading all your lovely comments and I got inspired.. Lloll.  
> Thanks for showing so much love in the first chapter itself.  
> This chapter will be angsty. But not so much.. I think it less angsty than the previous one. And also it has many perspective, so don't be confused.

Day 1:

Lucifer woke up, empty.. Feeling numb. It was irritating. He never felt numb! Why would anyone feel numb? Not physically though, emotionally numb.. He was not feeling anything, except for sudden urges to cry and everyone knows he will not do that. He went to bathroom, cleaned himself, wore a three piece suit, styled his hair, put on a smiling facade - that he can do very well. He can be fine when he is absolutely not. No doubt Chloe thinks him to be Master of Manipulation.. And to be honest, he didn't have the strength to debate that. Maybe he was. He was the devil! He was supposed to evil. Maybe by only existing he had done the biggest evil. 

He wrote the resignation letter and headed to the precinct. For the last time. The Detective shift is from eight in the morning and he had to avoid her at any cost.. So he arrived there at seven! Too bad, Dan was there on his desk.

Lucifer descended the stairs and paused to look at the precinct for the final time, he gaped at Chloe's empty desk like it was the only thing in the world that mattered.. It was though.. Not the desk, but Chloe. He panned his eyes to scan the others, the officers he adored so much - Cacuzza tasting the savory muffins, Joan doing her normal paperwork. His eyes moved to the Lab, Miss Lopez working hard on the evidences.. He won't admit, but he really would miss all of them. Even Dan. Most of all the Detective. Just then Daniel walked up from his desk towards Lucifer. 

"Why are you here man? " Dan scowled and his tone was almost insulting making Lucifer flinch a bit. Although he didn't much care about Douche, his day was particularly bad and he was sulking. "Look, Chloe doesn't want to work with you anymore.. Even I and Ella don't want to see you! So just get the hell out of here.. "

The line wrenched Lucifer's heart, the feeling of numbness was there, but suddenly the urge to shout or cry became more.. He chose to be silent. 

"What, no funny quip to that? I think you have understand yourself that you are a wrecking ball Lucifer, everything you touch you ruin Man! Didn't even spare Chloe! You should stay away from everyone. Why can't you just die? If I were you I would have done that years ago! " Daniel was practically shouting. 

Lucifer just kept staring at the floor, almost punching a hole on it, with the intensity of his gaze. Dan was right, he knew that. He was a poison, a very toxic one. He deserved to be alone. Emotional intimacy is not his thing. He should never be. The numbness enveloped him again, increasing Manifold. He kept mummed for a minute and then shoved Dan without acknowledging and walked towards the Lieutenant's office. He should not be there anymore..As soon as he handed the letter, he didn't stay for a minute. 

Lucifer's sudden silence shocked Daniel, he expected a snappy comment or an innuendo at least. But he got nothing. It was highly unlikely. Dan got a punch of guilt on his face, he shouldn't have told him to die. It was extreme, even for his standards. Anyone can be hurt for it. But isn't that what Dan wanted? To hurt Lucifer? To make him suffer? 

Day 2:

Lucifer woke up again Numb. He would end it! Why wasn't he feeling anything?! He checked his new phone for any messages, or calls - nothing. What was he expecting? Of course there will be nothing. 

He spent his rest of the day in Lux, drinking. Tons of it. 

Day 3:

He threw an orgy, maybe sex will make him feel better? Make him feel things? He just needed to feel something, anything.. 

Bodies. Kisses.. Nothing

Drugs. Alcohol. No feelings. 

More bodies. More Sex.. Nada

More drugs, more alcohol and more sex.. 

No feelings. 

Day 4: 

He cancelled his session with Linda. Orgies were a bad idea. He didn't enjoy at all. He just contemplated with whatever they desired, but he felt empty. Like a machine running in autopilot. He was being mechanical and he didn't want that! He didn't want any sex party! He didn't want any unannounced guests. 

Maybe being alone, will help him provide clarity? Who is he kidding? He was alone! So he installed a lock in his elevator, a four digit pass code without which the elevator won't move. Only Patrick was allowed to know the code. No one else. Not even Maze. He stacked his bar with excessive and unnecessary alcohol bottles and _click_ , the outer world was cut out.. 

Day 5:

Why was ever one calling him?! He didn't want to answer any of them! Regarding the business with Lux, Patrick knows it all! But it wasn't about Lux.. The people calling him were The good doctor, his brother and Miss Lopez.. He didn't want to answer them. So he disconnected the Phone. 

Day 6:

His bar was empty, he needed more bottles! So he ordered more. Oh and Drugs. He needed ecstatics, joints and cocaine. He stacked them as well. 

Day 7: 

He thought of making an appearance in Lux, obviously he was not in shape - red rimmed eyes, unshaved and unkempt stubble, disheveled hair and nothing but a robe.. But whatever. Who cares? He came down and walked at the balcony of Lux having a good look at the club. Business was blooming. Good. He went up. And the same process repeat. 

Day 8:

He thought of cleaning up his mess, his penthouse , but he didn't. He just repeated the weeks things. He was not good, he haven't eaten anything for almost four days and he felt weak. He haven't slept for a week, so tired. But who cares? This is life right? Maybe after a few more days, he can go back to the life he led.. Darker and pleasant days.. And he definitely didn't need anyone. He didn't need Chloe, Linda or Maze.. He didn't need anyone! For eons, he was vilified, forced to rule Hell Alone! He didn't need any 'Queen' to support him, why was he seeking people now? He was right. Emotions are bloody inconvenient. So he stopped feeling them. Simple. 

***********

"Holy Mother of shit! " Ella gasped as she pulled back from the microscope. It has been a week and new cases were dropping so fast that she didn't have time pop her head up from examining and re-examining. She kept the feathers with herself so that she could examine later. She was actually about to examine them a week ago, but with the new lieutenant coming and Charlotte's death, and new cases coming it slipped out of her mind. But today, she was all feathery. (Pun intended) 

"What's up? " Dan asked her from behind as he entered the lab.. 

"Oh. My. Go- goodness. " Ella knew Dan was upset and she didn't want to bring the big guy up in her conversation. "Dan, I am examining the bloody feathers we found at the crime scene.. "

"And? "

"And they were not bird's! " Ella turned around excitedly and slipped into her informatory mode.. "Bird's Karyotype carries a higher Deploid number, and the chromosomes are eighty, but these feathers, their DNA is not similar to any species, the chromosome number here is higher than any other spicies! It's 1320!"

"What? That's ummm.. Impossible! "

"I know right! A feather this big! Not a bird's feather and also the highest chromosomal count! This is going to blast the forensic panel! Maybe Pierce being the Sinnerman was trading these feathers? I mean they can be pretty expensive. "

"Trading bloody feathers? "

"Oh yeah, the blood.. The blood is also really very unique, it doesn't match any human or animal blood type. Just like the murder weapon, the metal used to weild the knife is unavailable on the earth at least.. "

"Maybe it's an antique? "

"Makes sense though. Whatever Metal was used to make the weapon is not available now. So yeah, it can be an antique... "

"But it still doesn't make sense! " Dan scowled. "Ever since.. Charlotte nothing makes sense either.. "

Ella mouthed a 'Sorry' sadly but spoke again, "what about Lucifer? "

"Hmm? "

"No, I mean he was there fighting Pierce right? He should know about the feathers! I know he is a method actor and all, but I am sure he will tell us. Besides Chloe was not even there when Pierce was stabbed... Oh.. Anyhow where is Lucifer? It's been a week, I didn't see him. What happened did he take a vacay or what? " Ella asked chirpily not knowing that Lucifer had resigned. 

"Umm... You.. Don't.. You don't know? "

"What? "

"Lucifer will not work with us anymore. "

"WHAT!? WHY? "

"Chloe doesn't want to work with him, anymore and also he gave his resignation letter already, a week ago. "

"A WEEK AGO! AND HE DIDN'T EVEN MEET ME! but why did he do so? I mean Chloe and Lucifer they are a package and suddenly everything fell apart? " Ella couldn't believe the fact that Chloe will not want to work with Lucifer! As much as she rolled her eyes, or scold him, she used to love working with Lucifer! Hell she rejected Pierce for Lucifer!? Ella very much thought that they were a thing! Why would all these happen suddenly? She needed to talk to Lucifer, to scold him for not meeting her! How could he forget his Miss Lopez!? 

"Well, I think it's better. At least nobody else have to die because of him.. " Dan spat our the words. 

"Dan! Charlotte was not Lucifer's fault, neither was Pierce! You can't just blame him for anything and everything! " Ella said, with a firmness and a bit anger. She knows Daniel is suffering, but that was no reason to treat with Lucifer the way he does.. 

"You know what, you go and worship your Lucifer! That guy is a wrecking ball and now Chloe realised that too well. I am happy. The freak deserves what he got! " Saying this Dan left the lab.. But Ella didn't feel so. Even with Lucifer being the jolly, buzzy kinda guy, she knew he had family troubles, an abandonment issue... He was a good man. Ella knew that and he certainly didn't deserve this! 

*********

Chloe was as usual doing her paperwork. Since the last week, she had done enough research on the Devil on "Google" And in the "Bible" To know that _he indeed was evil - master of Manipulation, king of Lies and The Dark Lord.._ So she did the obvious. She fired Lucifer. She deleted his number, blocked and blacklisted him and changed her phone. She forbade Trixie to even mention his name in the house. Trixie was really angry and sad on this recent development about Lucifer. He was her friend! Lucifer is the only one treats her like an adult! And so he is special for her! But Trixie couldn't understand why her mother was being this mad on her partner! Is it because they had a fight? But they always fight like Married couples! Like her Dad and Mommy! But that's no reason to cut him out of their lives permanently! The even thought of Lucifer not being around her, made Trixie cry.. And Maze? Has she moved out too? She was her best friend! 

For the rest of the week Chloe threw herself to work. It was difficult to place everything on her mind, and sometimes she did miss Lucifer, but she missed her partner. Not the devil. Were they different though? Was all of this a lie? He manipulated her in feeling that way towards him? He must have! Lucifer was kind of a guy, who never took anything seriously. If it would be Dan, Chloe would hate him. But when it came to Lucifer, she just couldn't! She loved him because of his childishness. So of course it has to be a manipulation! It has to be a lie! The more she thought about it, more her heart screamed a No. ' _What if this was true? Lucifer would never hurt me. He cares for me.. He would never.. '_ but her brain screamed _'He is the Devil! He is Evil! '_.. The more she thought of about their partnership, the more she shuddered. Working with the Devil for three years!? And treating him like a child!? 

_"You are the oldest most young person I have ever met! And coming from an immortal that is something! " Lucifer told her, in their early days of partnership.. And Chloe just rolled her eyes._

Deep down she knew, that Lucifer was good. But she just couldn't accept it. _'If he is good, why is he the devil? Why did he kill Pierce? And why did he smile like?! '_ And suddenly her phone buzzed, making her almost jump off her chair.. She shakily saw the name on the contact list. ' _Please God, let this not be Lucifer, not Lucifer! Please'_ When she saw the name, she relaxed a bit. 

**Linda.**

"Hey Linda. " She answered, trying to keep her voice as normal as possible.. 

_"Hi Chloe, Sorry to disturb you, but have you heard from Lucifer? "_

Chloe stiffened.. Why was everyone asking her about Lucifer!? She didn't want to know where he is! And she didn't want to keep any contact with him!!! "Ummm.. No. "

_"It's really strange Chloe. He didn't show up in two sessions, and didn't even inform me to cancel it! It's not like Lucifer at all. I am calling him, but he won't pick up my calls. Now it's just getting disconnected or something, he won't answer my texts. I am worried Chloe. "_

' _what would I do, if Lucifer doesn't pick up calls? '_ Chloe thought, but she could not help but to feel the slightest worry in her gut. Linda was right, it was not like Lucifer. Was he alright? But why would she care? But she was! But why? She didn't know. "I don't know Linda, where he is. "

" _Okay, but is everything alright? You are sounding... Tensed. Has something happened? Do you want to talk about it? "_ Linda was a therapist and of course she noticed the uneasiness in Chloe's voice.. The sudden twitchy vibe Linda got from her when she mentioned about Lucifer. Something has definitely happened and that's the reason Lucifer has disappeared. 

"Nope.. Everything fine. Really. No worries. Linda I am kind of busy, got to go. Bye. " Chloe hanged up the phone abruptly. She was worried about Lucifer though.. No she was not.. Really she was not worried. So she did the next obvious thing. She switched her phone off. 

*******

Linda was feeling restless.. Something has definitely happened. She was not only Lucifer's therapist, but also his friend. And she knew Lucifer all too well, she knew that anything happens and Lucifer will be regressive, and self destructive.. So she was concerned. Even more. She called Chloe, because she thought Chloe should know about Lucifer, but the coldness with which she answered Linda's questions, made her feel uneasy. It was as if she didn't care! That's definitely not like Chloe. Linda had to meet Lucifer. She had a break, because Lucifer didn't show up. So she drove to Lux. 

Lux was blooming, overflowing with people, drunk people mostly. A very good day for the business, Linda thought. But Lucifer was no where to found. Linda pushed past the crowd, to check whether he was there or not, she checked the dance floor, she checked the piano, but No trace of Lucifer. Lucifer would normally make an appearance at the peak times, like today.. But why was he not there? The concern increased manifolds.. She trudged past the crowd towards the bar. She spotted Patrick easily. 

"Hey Patrick. " She said. Patrick gave her an easy smile before offering a glass of Martini. It was Linda's preference. Thanks to Lucifer, she got free drinks whenever she was in Lux. Linda took a sip of the Martini before talking more. "Uh.. Where is Lucifer? I haven't seen him in a while. "

"Oh, Boss is in the penthouse. He didn't make an appearance today, Dr Martin" Patrick informed casually while serving the other customers. Linda took in his words. 

"And what about the rest of the week? " She asked. 

"No.He didn't come down in this whole week. He has cancelled all his appointments and meetings for the Lux expansion though. I am handling the business side. " He said proudly. 

_Thats definitely not a good sign. He is recoiling. Regressing even._ "Can I go up to the Penthouse and talk to him? " Linda asked

"I am sorry Dr Martin, but Boss ordered not allow any visitors. He even locked his elevator. " 

"He what? " Now Linda was too worried. Lucifer can be very distressed, but he would never prevent anyone from visiting his penthouse! He would never lock the elevator! Had he cut off from the rest of the world? Is he even okay? Not, at, all! This is a very very, extremely bad thing! 

"Yes. He installed a pass code for his elevator. "

"Umm, Patrick, can YOU go up? "

"Of course, I am the only one who can. "

_Not even Maze? Of course not. She hadn't even meet him._ "Can you go up to him and ask whether he would talk to me? He is not answering my calls. "

Patrick nodded and disappeared into the crowd. After a few minutes he returned.. 

"Sorry, Dr Martin. He said that he didn't want to talk to you. He has asked you to enjoy yourself, have drinks and you can also order an Uber from my phone for a free ride back. "

"It's okay Patrick, thank you anyways.. " Linda said curtly. And she left Lux. With another load of concern. Lucifer stopped talking. That was worrying. She wished Amenadiel was here, at least he would be able to talk to Lucifer. Linda was suddenly scared.. What if he..? No, no no. He will not do that. But she needed access to him!! She couldn't bear to see Lucifer like this.. 

Linda was now joining pieces, Chloe's uneasiness, Lucifer's recoiling,... Yes! Chloe got to know about Lucifer's real face and she reacted badly. But if that's the case, then Linda should reach out to both of them, before the truth breaks both of them. 

Lucifer and Chloe, both of them were living in their own hell. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments were lovely.. I hope you leave them in this chapter as well. I haven't written the next chapter yet, so I think I will drop that next week. Hope you had a good time reading this. Love love.


	3. I would never hurt you..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, ta daa! Lets welcome Maze in this chapter..  
> I tried to keep the angst in this chapter as low as possible. This is a kind of story right now, where I can't place so much fluff. So I just keep changing the degree of angst. I am so sorry for that though guys.  
> Leave your comments down below.. Let me know how you feel. And thanks for all the lovely comments you poured in the last chapter.

It has been a whole month since Lucifer is fired. Chloe is getting better with her life. Any thoughts about Lucifer or missing him, is completely shaken off or suppressed by her. She is definitely not missing Lucifer, really not. She is absolutely good with her life, even though a big chunk of her life is missing. And her brain is still pretty melted with the whole 'Devil' thing. For a whole month, she hadn't heard any news about Lucifer, not a single call or text. Though she has changed her number and blocked him, somehow a part of her expected that Lucifer will reach out through someone else. But he didn't. He just like that cut himself off from everyone's lives, as if he never existed. But he did exist. For three years, he have been working with them, and with her...Lucifer was more than a friend to her. Would he forget her, just like that? Chloe always thought, whether Lucifer has moved on or not. He is the Devil! His immortal life is too big to stick around an ordinary 38 years old boring woman right? She so wanted Lucifer out of her life, but at the same time the very thought of him moving on, or forgetting her made her want to cry. Why was it so complicated? If he would be a human, Chloe would definitely accept him, maybe even marry him and lead a safe life. But he was not. That's the problem. 

The last month was quite difficult. Maze returned from her bounty hunting a few days back and Chloe told her to move out, directly and coldly. Maze was confused initially, but when she figured out what Chloe was talking about, she obliged immediately, (well not without bragging about it..) 

"You know Decker, even if I am a demon, I would never hurt you or Trixie! I am here to protect you.." Maze has said before leaving the apartment for the last time. She wanted to see Trixie for the last time, but according to Chloe, the spawn was mad at her and didn't want to see her anymore..

"I am not sure anymore Maze. Its better if you leave." Chloe had said. And Maze left. 

But now it was being difficult for Chloe as Trixie kept asking about Maze. She didn't ask about Lucifer much though, knowing that it would anger Her mommy, but Maze, she was Trixie's best friend! And she didn't come home anymore. Why was that? Trixie couldn't understand why her mother started behaving like that. Why was she so cold with Maze and Lucifer always? She wasn't like that before! 

"Why can't Maze stay here anymore? " Trixie asked. 

"I thought you were mad at her, monkey.. " Chloe replied, trying to be as normal as possible but the coldness in her voice was unusual. 

"So what? Friends do fight.. But that doesn't mean they will stay away forever! Is she still mad at me? "

"No monkey, she.. She isn't. Just that she needed to figure out her life and priority.. " Chloe lied. It was a white lie though, wasn't it? Trixie's words were like a slap to her.. She was Lucifer's friend right? Not only just partner, and she threw him away like a thing. But she didn't have any choice! He was the fucking Devil! That's what she kept saying, kept thinking even though she knew the reason was not enough. 

"What about you and Lucifer? Did Lucifer too need to figure out his life and priority? " Trixie was now getting agitated. Her mom was taking away all her friends from her, and she didn't even have a proper reason! 

"Trixie, you have school, get ready.. " Chloe ordered. She was tired! Giving excuses to her daughter, answering about Lucifer.. Why can't he just leave her alone!!? 

Trixie didn't say anything more and walked off to her room. Her mother was already on the edge, so was she. And frankly, she didn't want to hear another lie... 

**********

"What the hell?! " Maze nearly screamed as soon as she got inside the penthouse. It was nearly trashed with empty alcohol bottles, and powders of.. Cocaine? On the bar, the coffee table, fucking everywhere! The Italian leather settee was a nest of all the blankets and pillows. Lucifer has been sleeping on couch for quite a while leaving deep impressions on them. And the television was in full volume, he was watching apparently, Bones? There were piles of Styrofoam containers on the bar table, most of them were uneaten turning green..Maze strolled through the living room towards the bedroom to find Lucifer combing his wet hair in front of the mirror. He was in a robe and he just came out of the shower. Maze observed him for a minute. He was paler than he looked, his lips were heavily coated with Aloe vera, but still remained chapped, the bag under his eyes were more prominent and the shadows making him look a bit older while his eyes were red - from not sleeping and the stress lines on his forehead were deep. Precisely he looked like a clean shit.. As soon as Lucifer noticed Maze from the mirror, he jerked around, his expressions full of surprise.. 

"How the hell did you get in here? Who told you the passcode? " Lucifer shouted, his voice was shaky yet firm. 

"No one! Why would you even lock the personal elevator?! I came through the service one back.. " Maze shrugged.. 

Lucifer's expressions softened a bit but still angry. Yes, the service elevator.. It's used to bring the furnitures up and only Maze knew where it was, apart from Patrick. That made sense yes.. Then should he have locked the service elevator too? The least of all he wanted to see Maze. Especially after her betrayal. It is also a form of abandonment.. 

"So what are you doing here? After a month.. You came to show me your face, why? " Lucifer scoffed, shoving Maze aside to move back to the living room. Maze followed him, as he sat on the couch and lowered the This volume. 

"Lucifer.. I.. Look,... I am sorry. " Maze said. "I know I shouldn't have done those things to you, it was stupid.. "

Lucifer let out an almost sarcastic and bitter laugh.. "Are you now? Done? You can leave now.. " He gestured towards the back, where the service elevator was supposed to be. 

"No! I am not going to leave you Lucifer! " Maze yelled. 

"That's what you did Mazikeen! You left me! You betrayed me, for that immortal sack of arse! You cannot walk past here any time, like you own this place and show me your sorry face! " Lucifer shouted, his eyes flashed red as he paced towards Her. Maze instinctively stepped back in fear. He didn't sound like her friend, his tone was distant, mocking and angry. Very angry. 

"Lucifer, I know you.. Are mad at me.. But I genuinely apolo-"

"Shut it Mazikeen!.. " The penthouse shook with his roar.. The roar of the Devil.. He finally snapped. "What is it with the women in my life! You just walk into my life, control it, change it and the next moment, when I need you, you just abandon me! Just walk away like nothing happened! Just throw me like a piece of garbage?! Why?!!! Because I am the Devil?! Because I am supposed to be evil!? " His tone suddenly changed from anger to sadness.. His eyes started watering up.. "You all make empty promises, hollow talks and then never, NEVER fulfill it! And then the next moment when I try to get hold of my life, you walk back again acting like nothing has happened! AND YOU EXPECT TO FIX EVERYTHING WITH A SORRY?!!! " 

Maze was dumbfounded. The words choked her throat but she couldn't say it. She has never seen Lucifer so vulnerable, so.. emotional. He was shouting at her, venting his anger and the apparent reason was her betrayal, but the words didn't make sense. As if it was not addressed to her at all! It was for.... Chloe. When Maze returned from bounty hunting, the first thing happened to her was she got kicked out by Chloe, because she was a demon. She felt the sting when Chloe shit her out with the coldness. But she never considered Chloe as someone really special. So she shrugged it. But for Lucifer, Chloe was much more than special. And getting rejected by her screwed him really bad.. 

"Lucifer.. " Maze tried to speak, her tone was softest now. But Lucifer was now shaking his head.. He let out a little laugh, before continuing. 

"Sorry Mazikeen, it's just I am not sleeping lately, so I am a bit snappy today.. Did you watch Bones? It's so addictive that I stay up all night watching it. " Lucifer was now smiling. Maze knew it was all a facade. He was trying to bury all his emotions down, deep down.. He moved around the room, picking up the empty bottles and putting them in the plastic trash bad. Then he reached for the food takeouts.. "I definitely advice you to watch it Maze.. Oh, and yes I am sorry Lately I seem to have disconnect my phone so I bet Linda and others are reaching out maybe.. A few days back the good doctor did come to visit me and then Miss Lopez too came quite a number of times, but Patrick sent them home..I need to apologize them. But I was not in a mood for talking and all.. You know how they can be sometimes. Could you believe, Miss Lopez came here every week to ask for me and well Linda came nearly everyday. But I never met them. Well I should build up some apology speech you know..they are going to kill me. " Lucifer let out a hollow,stupid laugh.."oh, And this restaurant in the corner.. The Mexican food is so yummy! I have been ordering from there lately. You should try it. " Lucifer was now folding the blankets and taking it to the bedroom.. He went on speaking unnecessary, hopelessly childlike details about the shows he have been watching, the new kind of Mollies he tried and the articles he read and what not. After cleaning up the messes he kept the three large trashbags beside the personal elevator.. "Well I suppose Patrick will take them away.. "

"Lucifer stop! " Maze had it enough. She could clearly see through the pain he was going, yet he somehow tried to act as if everything was splendidly perfect! Why would he do that? Yes, she was a demon, and she didn't like emotions, but this was different. It was like he had been living a lie..the only bloody thing he hated. Lucifer cocked his head towards her, clearly confused.. 

"You were a trash for all of these weeks, drinking and partying and what not! You have installed a lock in your elevator, cut everyone from your life and now watching BONES? Why are you doing this?! Why are you torturing yourself like this? " Maze was shaking with emotions, something she never felt before, not anger.. But concern. 

"Torture?! " Lucifer laughed.. "That's preposterous! I was living a good time Maze! " He sang joyfully. "You know enjoying the bliss of solitude.. But now I guess I should go out.. The Lux Vegas expansion deal is still hanging.. " 

"Vegas expansion? "

"Oh yeah, I forgot. I am making a deal. I am expanding Lux to Vegas.. So I will be moving to Vegas soon, you know as soon as they build the club there.. Maybe next year.. "

"What? You never told me! Why? "

"YOU WERE NEVER HERE WITH ME. And it was a thing I decided a month ago since.. " Lucifer cleared his throat, jerking the sadness behind.. "Anyway.. It's a good thing you know. Now please, if you will excuse me, I have many things to do. " Lucifer again gestured towards the elevator back and Maze finally took the hint. "Oh and Mazikeen, do not come here unannounced from the next time.Remember you do not live here anymore. It won't take me long to install a lock in the service elevator too.. " He warned in a low dangerous voice. 

"Lucifer, you know you should talk to Linda.. " It was the only thing Maze said before leaving.. 

Lucifer rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. His eyes felt wet.. Has he been tearing up again? Bloody hell! What is it with all those tears! He wanted to cage those pesky bugging emotions back into the box, where it has been for millenias! He tried! He had been doing that for a month now! And he finally able to control them, so he decided he would move around again, but seeing Maze, why couldn't he control them? If seeing Maze did him this, then what would happen if he saw the detective again? Well that's not a question at all, because he would never see her will he? She has probably moved on with her life.. She is so happy now that she has get rid of Lucifer Morningstar.. That's what he wants doesn't he? Her happiness? Then why does it hurts? Why should it hurt? 

And a single tear fell on his cheek. Bloody hell! 

*********

Linda was damn worried. She tried to contact Amenadiel, but who knows where he was!? Lucifer didn't do a single session in the whole month and on top of that, he locked his penthouse, and disconnected his phones and all the other ways she could contact him. Chloe was still cold towards him, and even though Linda could understand her reaction, she was a bit offended with her. She herself was in shock for two weeks when she first saw Lucifer's devil face, but at least she gave him a chance. Chloe has known him since three years and he had done so many things for her, Chloe should have understood. But she truly couldn't blame Chloe. Others in her place would have ended up in an asylum. She obviously needed time and help. But it was Lucifer for whom she was more concerned. He always hated that part of himself, it has taken them years to overcome his self hatred. And now they were back to square one. Linda was fiddling with the pen and Lucifer's patient file during her lunch hour in her office when she got the call. 

**Ella Lopez(Tribe)**

Linda knew Ella from their tribe night and frankly speaking she liked her bubbliness. She was cheery and was good in spreading positive vibes. Before answering she smiled to herself. 

"Hello Good morning Ella. " Linda wished. 

_"Good Morning Linda. I hope I am not troubling you? Well, do you know anything about Lucifer? "_

Linda could feel the concern in her voice, apart from Chloe and Daniel everyone were worrying about him, since a month. "No Ella. He has not spoken to me, or received my calls for a month now. I tried going to the penthouse to meet him bu-"

" _But it was locked! Exactly! I don't know how he is doing. I have visited him four times this month, and everytime I went, I was forced to return.. I am worried for that buddy. "_

"Thank you for the concern Ella. But I am sure he will come around. "Linda hoped so. As much as she was worried herself, she didn't want to increase her friend's tension. 

" _I had to talk to him for a certain case.. Ummm. The Pierce one. But since he left LAPD -"_

"Wait, he left LAPD? " Linda tried to grasp the new information. She didn't know. Her concern grew ten times. Lucifer loved the job so damn much. He always bragged about being a civillian consultant and a partner to Chloe in almost every session. Leaving the job would have a heavy toll on him. She mentally noted to talk to him in future about this. 

" _Oh you didn't know? Guess, he didn't meet anyone else since then.. Awww man, I feel bad. He and Chloe probably had a fall out and Chloe didn't want to be his partner anymore, so she gave out the notice to dissolve Lucifer as her partner.. "_

"Wait, what? Chloe made him leave? " Linda was surprised but not shocked. She didn't see it coming though. She thought Lucifer left the job himself. But if that's the case, then it is even more complicated.. 

_"Crazy right? I mean I didn't even imagine Chloe could do that! It was shocking for everyone.. The lieutenant though offered him to be someone else's partner, but he declined it. I miss him man! "_

Of course he declined. The main reason for working in the LAPD for him was Chloe. 

"How is Chloe doing? " Linda asked. 

" _She is acting normal, I guess.. I mean she is pretty ok in the precinct. She comes everyday. But I don't know, she is just very stiff. That's the only change I saw.. Nothing else. "_

"hmm.. "

" _Linda, if you see him later, then please tell him that I miss him and want to talk to him. I can't reach him, but maybe you can.. Okaieesss, got to go Linda.. Bye bye. "_

"Bye Ella. " Linda cut off the call when, _BANG!_ The Door of her office flew open. The sound startled her and she jumped from the chair when she saw Maze standing in front of her. Of course it had to be her. 

"Maze! You didn't break the door, did you? " Linda exclaimed.. 

Maze took a quick look towards the door, before shrugging a no and sat on the couch comfortably. Linda walked to the therapist's chair and sat in front of her. 

"I saw him. " Maze said. Her tone was cold, like she always said but it was wrapped with something warmer.. 

"Saw who? " Linda asked. 

"Lucifer."

Linda gasped, a slight relief washing over her body. Did that mean Lucifer unlocked the elevator? Did that mean he is ready to move on now? 

"No." Maze could easily read her friend's face. She knew what Linda was thinking. "He didn't unlock the elevator, neither he came out. I just crept into the service elevator and went in. I am the only one who knows where it is. And well, the furniture guys of course.. " 

"And? How is he? "

"He claims to be okay, but he is clearly not. The penthouse was a mess, including him! And I.. I.. Apologised. And then he shouted at me, but it didn't feel like he was angry on.. Me. It was like venting something else on someone.. "

"I understand. " Linda nodded thoughtfully. He was obviously venting Chloe's anger on her. 

"He then kept on saying about some Mexican food and then Boning someone.. "

"Boning someone? "

"Yeah, it's like a tv show he said. How can boning someone be a show? It's sex!? "

"You mean Bones?"

"Yeah whatever.. But he was clearly doing that thing... "

"What? "

"That thing you call! I mean when a person focuses on something else.! "

"Deflection? " Linda said. She was pretty surprised that Maze, of all people! Was talking to her about emotions, that also of Lucifer's . She was proud of her friend

"Yeah yeah, that. Look, I am not good at these things, these sweet emotions make me.. " Maze made a sick face.. "Nauseous. But I guess, he needs help. From you. "

"I want to help him Maze. But he is not reaching out. Truth to be told, I am scared for him. With the lock thingy and call disconnection, it all shows how low he is. He is trying to build up the wall again, recoil and regress to the old emotionless Devil he was. But that is not good for him. It shows that his boundaries are pushed too much. "

"Yeah, but he needs help right? " Half of the things Linda said, went over her head. But she could make out the basic conclusion. 

"Of course he does.. Did he tell you about when he will move out or anything? I need to reach him out, I need to talk to him! "

"Yeah, he said that he will make an appearance in Lux today... Oh AND, he is thinking of moving to Vegas! " Maze suddenly remembered. 

"WHAT? "

"YESSS! THAT IDIOT IS MAKING A DEAL FOR THE LUX VEGAS EXPANSION! I want to kill him. He said he will have a meeting today about it. "

So Lucifer was escaping. But it was plausible. And the fact that he is hurt so much that he was moving out, shattered Linda's heart. As a therapist, she felt like she failed. She had to fix this.. 

"Well I need to talk to him as soon as possible. " 

"You do. "

************

"Nope! " Dan said, while walking towards Chloe's desk. "There are no vintage cars on the ground. We used to have one, but it's pretty bad now.. I don't really know, how we can get past MME without a vintage car now.. "

Vintage car was a necessity for this case. They just started investigating the murder of Derek Lee. Cause of death being jamming a water pipe in his throat. He was a car collector and according to some anonymous threat messages he received before dying, Derek was supposed to collect a car in the Malibu Motor Enthusiasts.. And their lead suspect was supposed to be there. But MME was certainly not a place for the cops. Even with the warrants cops could do nothing.The associates could clear the place very fast. So the only choice the Detectives had was to go in there like a member, owning s vintage car. 

"We have to think of something else Dan. " Chloe said, she knew very well that Lucifer could be of help, but she pushed that thought far away in her mind. She doesn't need Lucifer and she definitely doesn't want him. 

"What about the case Detectives? " Lieutenant Joe walked up to the desk where Chloe and Dan were standing, they immediately straightened up and explained the whole situation to the lieutenant. 

"Well, I suppose it's time to call your former Partner Miss Decker. I heard he has quite a few vintages.. " Joe ordered. 

"But.. " Chloe started protesting but was cut off by Dan. 

"With all due respect Sir, that's not going to happen. We all know Lucifer is a wrecking ball. He will destroy the case. We don't want him here. " Dan said bitterly, which made the Lieutenant frown.. 

"Espinoza, I guess you have a personal vendetta with Mr Morningstar. But for the case you need to be professional. Is that clear? " Lieutenant said. 

Dan just nodded hesitantly. Well he was right. Everything with Lucifer was personal. Even he could not deny that closure rates with Lucifer was faster and unfortunately more effective. But he didn't want to accept that. He will never let Lucifer win. 

"So, Miss Decker, I know you dissolved Mr Morningstar from being your partner. But this is important for the case. And I expect you to behave most professionally. Don't let your feelings come between. That's an order Detective Decker. "

"Yy... Yes lieutenant. " Chloe said shakily.. Why?!!! Whenever she tries to move on, Lucifer will always come in the way... Wait.. How will Lucifer react to this? Will he even agree? After whatever she had done to him? And in a moment the iciness of guilt and sorrow start gnawing at her heart.. Chloe froze.. Working with Lucifer will be not the same as it was. She will never let that be. It will be there last case.. Final case. Closure.. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooa, I an moulding the 'Expire Erect' case according to my story. Thank Lieutenant for taking the initiative to let Lucifer in though. As you can guess, angst will be ahead, since Chloe and Lucifer will start working.. Or not working. But firstly, for those who thought Why Lucifer was talking about the restaurant and the Bones, because that's what his character is. He is a narcissist but he won't show anyone his weakness. So he was deflecting.  
> I didn't show Ella's side in this chapter. But next chapter pakka(sure) .. I hope this chapter was worth the wait. Next chapter on Wednesday.  
> Till then love love. :)


	4. Guardian Angel..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaayyy! Thank you so much for 1k+ hits!! I can't believe it crossed 1k just by the 3rd chapter! I am so so grateful to you guys! You are the best readers..  
> Ok so as promised Ella will play an important role. And this is by far the longest chapter I have ever written..

**Few hours earlier..**

Ella absent mindedly stroked a white glowing feather as she thought about everything that happened in the last month. It was way past midnight, and she was up all night in her house going through the certain piece of evidence which already hit a dead end a month ago. The feathers extracted from the crime scene of Pierce case, were literally the evidence of the most different specie of the world! The specie with highest chromosome number, the real GLOWING feather with a healing property! Yes, that was right! When they first extracted the feathers, they were covered with blood and the rims were broken.. But after three hours, it seemed that the rims have started growing again.. It hardly took a full day for it to go back being the perfect white feather she had ever seen. The feathers were ridiculously long, almost the length of her forearms.. She had searched up all the animal databases, google and every science encyclopedia to know about that feather before she hit the dead end. Dan tried to make out whether Pierce, rather the Sinnerman's network dealt with it, but all they got was a zilch. As options were running out, new cases dropped in and that meant keeping the feathers aside and examine the other sorts of evidence. Talking to Lucifer might have helped, knowing that he was the only one present when Pierce died and he could have possibly account for the feathers and the ridiculously unique knife. In spite of his crazy 'Method actor' fetish, Ella really respected him. Loved him like her big brother. And with him gone, she felt a void in her heart, and she was worried sick. 

She visited LUX twice before, every week. But that handsome bartender told her that his Boss had placed a security code to the elevator of the penthouse and had stopped seeing everyone, even making appearances to the parties.. Seeing Lucifer, well not practically seeing but hearing about him doing these things practically shattered her heart. And more it broke seeing that Chloe was so indifferent. What possible one little fight can do to them, that they practically hated each other now? It was all too much.. She needed to see Lucifer, she needed to know about the feathers, she needed to patch Deckerstar up and she needed to do her job! 

"Big guy! I know we are on the Rocky grounds now, but if... If you are trying to make amends with me, then at least give me sign what should I do? !! " Ella sighed, knocking her head casually on the top of the table. 

"Hey Lopez. " A voice from behind startled her, almost making her fall from the chair. As she turned around , she saw her 'Ghost friend' standing and leaning on the door causally, smiling to her.. 

Of course! Ghost rule number 1: Wait for the creepiest moment to scare the shit out of someone.. 

"Ray Ray! What are you doing here? Are you stalking me again? " Ella said bumpily, placing the feather on the table gently she walked up to her near the door.. 

"Nope.. Just heard you call out. " She said. 

"Well, I wasn't calling you, for your kind info. But I suppose I could use a friend now. " Ella sighed.. 

"Yepss, thats what I am here for. Remember the 'have your back' thingy? " 

"Yeah.. It's just so many things are going on! Since Charlotte's death.. Uh.. Charlotte is a close friend of mine, well everyone's-"

"Yeah I know. "

"Right, of course.. So yeah, since her death, it's all just a giant puzzle with too many missing pieces!! I found those feathers, which is ridiculous because it doesn't match any species.. " Ella pointed at the fluffy white things on the table 

"It never will.. "

"What? "

"Nothing, carry on. "

"So these feathers and then Pierce being the actual bad guy and the Lucifer leaving the LAPD.. "

"Lucifer leaving LAPD? " Azrael gasped, she didn't know that. As far as she knew her brother loved his work and nothing in the whole universe could make him leave the job! How was it even possible? Was Lucifer upset? What exactly happened? She, being the angel of Death , was really really busy and didn't have much time to catch up.. 

"Oh yeah, Lucifer Morningstar... Uh he is the.. Was the civillian consultant for the LAPD, we love that guy you know! He is originally a method actor -

Method actor?! Azrael pressed her lips hard enough not to chuckle out.. Devil being a method actor. 

Lovely. 

"- and he is looking for the role of the Devil, you know.. Hence the name Lucifer and all that. But he was really a good guy. He was like my brother, you know.. " Ella lamented, her tone changed to something sad.. "And he just quit the job, well he didn't, but his partner made him quit the job.. I don't even understand why!? "

"Lopez, that's... Really sad. But I wouldn't find any reason why Chloe would make Lu leave the job! "

"Wait wait.. Lu? You are using Pet name? You know him? " Ella frowned, narrowing her eyes, deeply scrutinizing her.. 

Azrael initially thought Ella would've missed it. But she was clearly wrong. For father's sake she was a forensic scientist! She sighed, finally giving in.. "Yeah I know him. "

"When we're you going to tell me that?! " Ella glared.. "How did you, how do you know him? I mean you are dead for about twenty years now!"

"He is my big brother Lopez.. "

... 

... 

.. 

. 

"WHAT?! " Ella let a bewildered half chuckle which choked her voice.. And then she started laughing, but after a minute stopped when she realised that Rae Rae wasn't. "So... Lucifer is you brother. "

"Yep."

"Aww man! That means he lost you when he was a kid! That's so sad... Wait.. That can't be. "

Exactly. Her brain started working.. 

"Wait wait, " Ella tried to process.. "You are an adult, I mean you were an adult when you died.. Right now we both are pretty much the same age, and you died Twenty years back! So if Lucifer is your big bro, then he has to be much, much older now.. I mean unless you were twins.. "

"No we were not.. He is much much much older than me.. "

"That's i practically impossible! You are joking right!? " 

"Lopeeezzzz! " Azrael sang.. "Well I suppose it's time I tell you. I am not a ghost. "

"Wh-, Ray Ray, do you think I am in a mood to joke right now? "

"Of course not. Do you think I am joking? No! I am not a ghost. And I might be able to tell you about the feathers.. " Rae Rae strolled past her towards the table and picked the feather, gently stroking it and as a soft smile spread across her face.. 

"What are you talking about? " Ella was practically on the verge of crying, her throat already felt tight.. If Rae Rae was joking right now, then swear to someone she would just kill her again! 

"These are _our_ feathers.. " She smiled.. 

"What do you mean _ours?!_ Like a Ghost feather?! Is that even a thing? " 

"No you dope! Not Ghost feathers! Angel feathers.. " 

Right

Of course.. 

She was playing her! Ella could feel the temper growing into her, she was just about to snap and have a tremendous outburst, when Azrael shrugged her shoulders to reveal the huge wings on her back.. It was hawk like, the primal feathers were longer than any human Forearm, while the feathers at the sides, and towards the shoulders were as small as a boy hair. Majorly the wings were covered with black feathers,but the side primals were brown giving it a pepper look. They were beautiful! Those two wings filled the whole room, knocking out the statues and the showpieces which adorned th room earlier.. But Ella couldn't care less. Her anger melting away and shock taking it's place.. She froze.. Literally. Completely froze, her hands started shaking. Thoughts going too fast but her body seemed to be stupefied. 

Rae Rae had wings!! Bloody fucking wings!! 

_Holy mutherfucking shit!!_

She would pass out.. Definitely pass out.. She opened her mouth, but ended up in releasing an animal-like cry.. 

"Lopez, are you okay? " Rae Rae quickly shrugged off her shoulders, the wings vanished, and the room seemed much lighter than before. Ella could feel a panic attack, yet she was somehow relieved?.. All those years, her strong faith on the big guy, it was all real. A part of her was terrified, yet another part somehow seeked solace? Ugh! It was confusing! 

"I- I.. Don't know.. You are an... angel? " Ella gasped .. 

"Yes. I am Azrael.. " 

"Wait.. Azrael as in the angel of-"

"Death. Yes!. " 

"Holy sh-" Ella was just an inch away from passing out. "That means, all those years back in the car wreck, you came to take my soul?! " 

"Yes. But it was a false alarm. It happens.. I felt so good around that this time I decided to stay, to be your friend. To protect you.. " 

The here's heart filled with apricity.. An actual _angel!_ Protecting her! Like a Guardian Angel! _fuck!_ Should she be terrified? Should she be honoured? Should she laugh? Should she faint? Like what the actual fuck is she supposed to do????!!! Ella let out a hollow, foolish, awkward laugh. But then, her nerdy brain was acting too fast. 

"Wait.. Your wings are.. Your wings are black. But these feathers, they are white.. So do you mean, there is another angel here? "

"These feathers are my brother's. Lu's.. "

Hah! 

Hahah! 

Hahahahahahahaha! 

What! 

The! 

Bloody

Hellish

Version

Of 

Fuck?! 

"Lu as in Lucifer's..? " Ella's voice was extraordinarily small, compared to any girl that chirpy and bubbly, it was shaky and high pitched, just before someone cries.. 

"One and only.. These are white, because it's the lightbringer's.. Oh, somebody just popped off, I sensed it. Welll I need to go, duty calls and all that. But if you need me, you know how to call me.. "

"Hh-howw? "

"Just pray you idiot!! "

"O.. Oh. "

"Smell you later Lopez.. " With this she vanished in thin air, leaving a distressed Ella behind.. 

_"These are mine"_ Lucifer's words echoed in all the chambers of her mind.. And all the pieces just clicked together.. His whole devil shtick, everything! He was not a method actor, he was the fucking Devil.. Although she knew Devil got a pretty bad rap, and especially after knowing Lucifer personally she was completely sure everything which people talked about the Devil being evil, was all a prejudice! But that didn't mean, she was okay with it.. Her brain simply, nearly exploded.. Her friend was an angel, her big brother was the Devil! And.. Oh no.. That means her ex partial crush, Amenadiel was also an angel! She was surrounded by celestials!!! Her Big Guy was real! Everything she has believed were real!! She suddenly understood Chloe's behaviour towards Lucifer.. But that was secondary. She needed to take baby steps. First deal with the celestial stuff herself, and then go check Lucifer, then give Chloe a piece of mind.. How could she throw him out of his life just because he was the Devil! Well of course that is not a small thing, but still Chloe should have known better. But she really can't blame her can she? Ella found out in a good way, from her friend. But that might not be the case for her. She has seen witnesses go into a state of madness after Lucifer confronts them alone, so Chloe must have found in a bad way.. That's what seemed plausible.. 

And now she needed a drink. A very stiff martini, dirty one. But not only that. She needed more than that. She spent the whole night drinking, after 4,she crashed on her bed and the next morning in spite of the terrible headache, she decided to go on to the homicide case of Derek Lee. 

*************

The past couple of days, nay.. The whole month has been a shit for Lucifer. When Chloe rejected him, repulsed away from him, a wierd feeling of numbness surrounded him. He felt empty. He felt crushed, as if his soul was forcefully snatched away. He tried everything to run past that feeling - the feeling of abandonment. Millenias ago, when he was abandoned for the first time by his family, when he fell, he was angry! He was ferocious. That anger kept him going, till now. Made him the ruler of hell, made him the Devil, the Lucifer Morningstar that the world know of. He got someone to blame - God! It was easy to blame him. But now, when he was abandoned again by Chloe, he didn't feel angry. He felt.. Pain. Deep deep pain, as if his insides were chopped off in front of his eyes. He didn't have anyone to blame, not even his dad. All this time he thought He was manipulating Chloe, to make her fall in love with him, although that angered him, still it connected him with her. But now, Lucifer felt the opposite.. Dad didn't manipulate her, if he would have then probably Chloe wouldn't run.. Or maybe this was again a manipulation! Who knows!? He couldn't blame Dad for his Devil face and Wings this time.. He realised the self actualization. But this also meant, he _was_ a true monster.. And of course he didn't deserve Chloe.. Neither did Chloe deserve him! Who would want to spend her life with a beast!? But maybe as a friend? Just a friend? 

Oh how greatly he wished to be just a delusional patient! How he wished all of this was untrue.. Chloe would have been with her then.. But again, she did say that she wouldn't run! She said that he was not s Devil to her! Three years of friendship, three years of everything they shared, gone through couldn't even convince that her Lucifer wasn't evil? He wasn't what the world makes him out to be? He expected this from Chloe. Expected. 

So he shut his feelings down. He hosted Orgy to feel anything but the pain, failed. He drank., drank like a maniac, failed. He did drugs, failed.. And after that he just shut everyone out. He stayed coiled up on his bed for days, the thick curtains in his room prevented sunlight from entering. He would close his eyes and feel hell. He stopped eating . Whatever takeouts Patrick ordered for him, would just stay on the table, uneaten. He didn't sleep. For weeks he laid on the bed, playing Possum. The last week though something stirred.. He felt less shitty. So he decided to watch Bones. Taking in all the nostalgic details of their own partnership.. And then something occured, he would go back to the Devil he was. Dark, aggressive, the villain. Shun out every possibility of goodness in his life. He tried being good, he tried to change.. Maybe it was time to move on. Quite literally, he would just start a fresh in Vegas. And after the little heated conversation with Maze, he firmly believed that he should move to Vegas. He considered hell, but then again moving back to hell meant no distraction. And he wanted Distraction - those meaningless sex, partying, and pesky little emotions back in the box. Simple! 

After a month, he came down to Lux. It was early in the morning, and the club was empty. He was wearing a simple black suit with a crisp white shirt and black pants. A three piece Armani was still overwhelming even for him, considering the amount of low he has been since the week, his hair devoid of any product flowed freely into curls and the only make up he did was a generous amount of concealer for his ever darkening eye bags.

"Patrick, show me the files for the Vegas Expansion Deal. And one whiskey. " He called out. He sat on the bar, within seconds he got everything he desired. The glass of the finest whiskey, and the large grey files with all the paperworks. Lux and business was now therapeutic to him, it felt good. Being the owner, having some control. Just felt good, in the ocean of sorrow he was in. He went through every single detail. It was a good distraction. After half an hour or so, his concentration was broken, by a bitter call out.. 

"Lucifer! I don't have much time for this shit! Where are you?! " Dan called out in a most ungrateful tone as he walked into the club.. Lucifer scowled at his sight.. _Dad, not him again!_

"Good morning to you too Daniel. " He said, sarcasm dripping from his tone.. 

"Look, the Lieutenant asked for your vintage car in one of the case, so just come with me.. " Daniel spat out the words like a venom. 

Lucifer felt a sharp jostle of disgust in his bones, Dan's tone was that repulsive and it was putting him off the edge.. "Sorry Detective Douche, but I am busy at this moment. And needn't I remind you that I am no longer a part of the LAPD that I will obey your _orders_ like a servant.. " Lucifer replied with the same aggressiveness in his voice.. 

"Oh please, don't show Work to me Lucifer. We all know what works you do, except for hurting and ruining people.. "

That is it. 

He was just one inch away from losing it. 

"Dan, I suggest you leave. Right now. I don't want any trouble early in this hour. So.. So just leave. " Lucifer shoved him as politely as he could through his gritted teeth. Gosh! He has to work on his anger! He wasn't that snappy before! 

"Look, you don't have a choice Lucifer. You owe us this one! " Dan challenged him.. 

"How can I possibly _owe_ you Daniel? Whatever favour did you do to me? " The statement could have been a quip, but Lucifer was ridiculously serious. Favours wasn't a joking and he absolutely loathed the idea of being in someone's favour. 

"Its not me, you dumbass! It's Chloe. You owe her because she let you work with her for these three years, inspite of the fact that she hated you! " Dan lied. He knew he was lying. Lying to Lucifer, lying to Chloe. Dan was enjoying it, to see Lucifer in pain. To see him suffer. So he kept on increasing the lies. "She often told me how much she hated you, loathed you, because of you immaturity, of you, but she let you on her case anyhow.. You owe her this much. " 

Lucifer flinched back. His heart wrenching again, all in a new torturous way. The Detective had always hated him? Always? No.. No it can't be.. It's not true.. He shook his head vehemently.. "You are lying Dan. "

Dan knew he struck a soft spot. And Lucifer suffered. So he decided to scratch that spot again.. Let Lucifer get the taste of his own medicine.. "You knew deep down, didn't you? " Oh! How much he was enjoying it.. To see him unable to come up with a pun.. To see him in a false position.. 

"I.. I.. " Lucifer clenched his fists hard.. He tried to recall every moment he had spent with Chloe, the kisses, the hugs, the nights spent with her and the urchin.. 

_"Lucifer is the best partner, I have ever had! " Chloe said..._

No this can't be.. But again.. 

" _Lucifer I face a lot of crap for you, to let you in my cases! " Chloe said in the early days of their partnership.._

\------

" _Lucifer stop! I am sorry but you can't stay near me.. You are just too.. You! " She said, when he tried to listen to her problem._

_\------------_

_"I will Never help with this investigation of yours.. " Chloe banged the table.._

_"Oh I don't need your help anymore. "_

_"Then why are you still here!? " Chloe snapped.._

_\---------_

Lucifer didn't realise when he grabbed Dan's collar, as the frustration overpowered him. Chloe always hated him, that was impossible, but again she didn't also love him! She abandoned him. Her promises were hollow.. His eyes burnt vigorously as the tears threatened to spill, blinking them back won't help. With jagged breath he confronted Dan..his growl was inhumane, but it was low and dangerous. Dan seemed scared initially. "Right Daniel, you all think me as a play toy right? Let that be then, I will return this little favour for the Detective, and I would never like to see you or your corrupt little organization ever again in my life! You need my vintage car right? Okay, let's go for a drive shall we? " He released Dan and he stumbled back on the floor. With this the Devil stormed away from the club.. Dan suddenly felt a punch of guilt in his gut, he shouldn't have done this. Crap! 

He drove his Aston to the precinct, tears streaming down his face already.. Thank Dad, he didn't allow Daniel to share the care, or what a fool he would make of himself. He surely was not believing that The Detective hated him for three years, but still he had to see whether the Detective hates him now..

So he bought coffee. Chloe's usual order. He remembered that very well. For Lucifer,bringing coffee to his partner was the symbol of innocent friendship and a gesture of love. He always brought her coffee while greeting her good morning. It was his rule. And Chloe used to love that too. She really appreciated Lucifer for these tiny gestures..and thats what made them a package.

When he entered the precinct, he walked off cautiously toward's her desk, she suddenly seemed to rush at Ella's lab.. He could not make out whether Chloe saw him or not, but he surely didn't beckon her. The last thing she needs was a stalker in the precinct. So he simply placed the coffee cup on her table and he strolled off to the Lieutenant's office. 

The Lieutenant seemed really pleased with him. He explained the entire case to him.. A work which he prefered the Detective would have done. But he was not complaining. This case is not just a case. It's a favour returned.. He is simply letting them use him. And then they get rid of him for good. But at least he could see Chloe for the last time.. That's all he needed. The MME opened at late afternoon, which was still about 4 hours from then. So Joe suggested him to go through the paper work till then, just to kill time. But he didn't want to spend his time in the precinct anymore.. The same precinct he loved so much a month ago.. 

After about 20 mins, when he came out of the office, he glanced at the Detective's table.. She was not near.. So he walked toward it, only to find the Coffee cup dumped in the dustbin beside the desk, coffee spilling all around the plastic sheet of the bin.. Suddenly the urge to throw up rushed through his mind.. His eyes went blurry with the tears he was so painfully holding back. He felt sick..

Dan was right. Chloe hates him. And there was the proof. 

With a small sob, he pulled out his phone and called Linda.. "Hello Doctor, I want to see you. Are you free... Lovely.. Yes.. Yes I am coming.. Need to talk.. Yes.. Thank you. "

*********

Chloe's stomach churned as she saw Lucifer walk down the stairs. He hadn't noticed her yet, focussing completely on his gait. It was the perfect time to escape. She didn't know why she was running away from him. Her heart didn't want to. It's been a month she had seen Lucifer or talked to him. From what Linda informed her a month ago, he probably cancelled his sessions.. It was bad for him too.. But she should not care, should she? The Devil doesn't get depressed! That would be ridiculous! She didn't stop to focus on his disheveled facial appearance, or the broken smile he put on or the coffee cup he was holding... She just turned her head on heels and rushed to Ella's lab. Ella was spectacularly jumpy the whole day. With sunglasses, Chloe knew she probably drank too much. But still no harm in talking to her. As Chloe closed the door of the lab behind her, Ella literally jumped to her feet, startled.. 

"Decker! Sorry, I am a little jumpy today. " Ella said.. 

"Yeah, I noticed.. What's wrong? " Chloe asked, normalcy in mind.. But her attention was flickering.. To Lucifer. 

"You tell me.. Isn't Lucifer supposed to help us in this case? " 

"Ummm.. " Chloe cleared her throat.. "That's what the lieutenant ordered, he is in the precinct.. Like.. Now. " 

"Now? He is here?! Oww man! I need to go to talk to him, it's been so many days, he lock-" Ella trailed off. "Wait, is that why you have come here? To avoid him? "

Chloe didn't answer.. But her body language was pretty clear. 

"Chloe I needed to talk to you regarding something. "

"Uh - huh.. "

"I know you know Lucifer is the Devil.. "

Chloe flinched back, unable to process the information.. Like how did Ella come to know? Untill yesterday she thought Lucifer to be a method actor! What the heck was happening..? 

"Okay, Decker, just calm down.. It is alarming for me too.. When I came to know about him, i was shocked as well.. "

"How? " Chloe's voice was shaky.. 

"Well, I told you about Rae Rae? My Ghost friend? It turns out, she was not ghost at all! Yesterday I was up checking on the feathers, which was when she appeared and filled me up. She is an angel. Lucifer's sister. " 

It was too much. Too damn much. How was Ella handling it?! Maybe because she didn't see Lucifer's face yet.. Or maybe she was stronger? Stronger than her.. 

Ella continued, "I know that's the reason you fired Lucifer. But don't you remember anything? How much he cares for you? How many times he had saved you? You don't remember your friendship at all? I know it's not easy to handle whatever he is, but still he is the same Lucifer you know.. Method actor or not.. Devil or not.! "

"But.. B-but he is evil, or he is supposed to be.. " Chloe said hesitantly, in her heart she didn't believe so.. 

"You have seen Evil Decker, you have been in this line for many years.. Do you actually believe _he_ is evil? That manchild? "

After a long Pause, and much calmer self evaluation, Chloe nodded a no. "I.. I don't. He is, he is a good man Ella. I know that. He is just a victim.. But it's.. It's all too much.. Even for me. I wasn't thinking clearly.. I-"

Ella moved forward and pressed Chloe hard in a tight hug.. Chloe didn't pull back, instead leaned in her touch.. For moments they stayed like that.. One couldn't understand who was comforting who. But it felt good, it felt light. For days Chloe was struggling to keep all these within herself, having someone to talk to about all these made her relaxed.. After what felt like ages, Ella pulled back. A gleaming smile on her face. 

"I knew it Decker, you would see reason. Lucifer is like my big bro, Rae Rae is my friend, I know them all! I know it's a lot to accept.. "

"It is.. It is a lot to accept Ella. There are so many things, I can't. But I guess I need to find a way to at least try.. I missed him so much all these days.. I mean he pisses me all the time, but I.. I like him. I know it was stupid for me to fire him, maybe I hurt him a lot.. "

"Maybe? You did hurt him Chloe. I am sorry but he just cut himself off from the rest of the world, he disconnected the phones, and lived like a hibernating bear in his penthouse.. I tries to check on him four times but he didn't budge.. Me, Linda everyone was so worried about him! "

"Oh.. " Chloe's voice was small, sobby.. She could not even imagine what that might mean for Lucifer. She threw him like a toy, and didn't even think about him. Maybe she pushed him too hard. Or maybe not? Means, he is Lucifer! He works through his issues like these things! Maybe it's just his Luciferness... Things won't go back the same as they were previously. Not immediately. Chloe would have to work towards accepting him. Because she still wasnt ready. And Lucifer would have to.. Work through his issues.. But they could still be partners? Maybe not life partners or lovers, but partners? 

"You need to talk to him Chloe. I am sure he will understand. "

"Hmm.. Let's see. I will. Once this case is over.. " She was stalling.. 

Through the blinds she saw Dan jerking around , picking the coffee cup placed on her table and throwing it into the bin. Honestly she wasn't sure whose cup was it, and why he threw it in the bin and she could not care less. 

What she was worried about how to avoid being jumpy around Lucifer. She didn't hate him. She tried to. She really really tried to. But she couldn't. But she was not comfortable. Who was she kidding? She _was_ afraid of him. She knew that he won't harm her, but still he was the Freaking Devil.. It would be odd if she wasn't scared of him. And she needed to work on this. Baby steps. 

They talked a bit about the case, and mostly about Rae Rae and Lucifer.. Chloe's head was dizzying with all the new information, and she was amused at how well Ella was handling it. She was clearly stronger that her. After half an hour, when she finally gathered courage to face Lucifer, and went out she found him nowhere. He was gone.. Even though she couldn't understand why. When she asked around about him, Cacuzza informed that he would be back soon.. 

Chloe's breathing hitched, both in worry and relief.. 

************

Lucifer was unusually calm in front of Linda. For the past five minutes, Linda tried to initiate a conversation, but he didn't budge. So she went mummed, waiting for him to start talking, whatever making him comfortable. After a long, stretching silence, Lucifer finally spoke. 

"She hates me. "

Linda's heart pounded, both in anxiety and worry. Although she managed to keep the neutral face on. "Who hates you Lucifer? "

"The Detective"

Linda waited for him. She didn't answer. 

After a minute he spoke again, "She saw my face. My Devil face, after I killed Cain. She fired me, and now she is.. She just hates me.. I have ruined it.. " 

"How did your devil face return Lucifer? "

"It's because I killed him. " Lucifer was shaking. _He was shaking!?_ "It's not a manipulation.. I am afraid, my brother is right. We do self actualise. After I killed Cain, I became the monster. "

"So is it because you killed Cain, or is it because you think yourself to be a monster? "

"I _am_ a monster Doctor! And that's the reason she hates him. 

" Lucifer. -"

"No.. " His eyes were glassy.. And voice trembling.. He ran his shaking hands through hair, "no doctor.. I did so many things for her, tried so hard to change, to be a better man for her.. I even DIED! for her. And after everything we went through, every promises she made that she won't run away, she won't hate me, that's exactly what she did. I.. I... managed to remain the monster I was, inspite of me trying to change.. "

"She just needs time Lucifer.. Whatever she is going through is extremely difficult.. "

"I know Linda. I know.. My Devil face, it's a punishment.. For me and for those who see it. But she has also made it plainly clear that she doesn't want me in her life. " He failed to hold back the tears and it flowed down. Immediately after he wiped his cheek, somewhat ashamed of his tears and not letting any other tears fall. His eyes pained, throat burnt and urge to break down made him go dizzy... But he won't. He was not weak.. He shook.. But he won't cry. 

"Lucifer, let go.. Let go of your tears. It's not good to hold them back. I am here for you. Tears don't make you weak. They make you stronger.. " Linda didn't realise she was crying too.. With an assuring glance, Lucifer finally let go.. All his pent up emotions, his anger, drifting down as silent tears as he buried his head in his hand, not showing the face to Linda.. 

He was too silent. The only evidence of his crying was his trembling shoulders and the occasional sniffing. After five or ten minutes, he straightened up, wiping whatever residues of tears left on his cheeks. His eyes were red and swollen.. And his face went back to being flat, devoid of any emotions.. 

"They called me for a case today.. They wanted my Aston. " He said, sniffing. 

Linda kept quiet. 

"I am a toy for them, am I not? "

"Why would you think so? You are not a toy Lucifer.. "

"They don't consider my feelings at all.. They just stroll back up when they need me and the other time, I just am a headache for them.. A burden. " His voice was a sad monotone, but he placed all his emotions in the word Burden.. 

Linda's heart cried out.. "Do you want to keep working with the LAPD? "

"No." The reply was fast and short. As if he already have made up his mind.. 

Linda gaped at him surprised.. He didn't want to work with the LAPD anymore.. It explains the intensity of toll that had taken on him. 

"No? " She asked.. 

"No. I don't want to be a trouble for the Detective and Daniel, or Miss Lopez. I know she cares for me, but once she will know the truth about me, she will run away like the others. And I don't want to work with them who are scared of me, or take pity on me... " Lucifer said. 

"Then why did you take the case then? "

"I wanted to return the favour of letting me on cases for years. I will let them use me in whatever way they want in this particular case. I won't even complain. And once this case is over, I will leave LAPD forever, for good. " 

Lucifer sounded tired. He sounded exhausted.. And he was extremely sad.. And looking at her favourite patient like this Linda couldn't help but to she'd silent tears.. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing the reaction of Lucifer is truly, tremendously difficult for me.. I hope it's not out of the character.. Please tell me if you have anything to say.. Pour in your lovely comments below. And the next chapter is on next week.. (I have many things to do, so can't help it.)   
> My Twitter id is @deckerstarfanz .. So ping me there if you need to discuss anything..   
> Till then love love.. :)


	5. Just a favour..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I didn't get much comments or replies for the previous chapter, I didn't know what happened. But here goes the next one. A slightly shorter one though. Enjoy.

Chloe didn't know what to feel. She was terrified when the Lieutenant proposed that she should go with Lucifer in his Aston together. Although she half expected Lucifer to be happy at the prospect. But instead he seemed sceptical, and not to mention _terrified?_ _Was he terrified of her? Why? She was just a human?!_ Chloe was stalling to talk to him about whatever she and Ella discussed earlier in the day. After Lucifer disappeared from the precinct earlier, second thoughts seemed to engulf her. And when he returned an hour later, she just didn't have the heart to say that she wanted him to be her partner again. What would he think of her? Once she fires him and the next moment she just changes her mind? Also it seemed awkward to even make a conversation with him. It was so easy to hang around him , even a month ago! They were so easy! But now as if an invisible wall was put up between them. 

When Lucifer returned to the precinct about an hour later Chloe barely managed to ask, 

"Where? " Her tone was unwantedly cold and shaky. Why was she so terrified? 

A hurt seemed to have spread on his face for a few seconds before he finally replied, "Dr Linda. " That's it. And he just walked to the Lieutenant's office and closed the door behind him. Inspite of the coldness in his behavior, Chloe found an understanding in his eyes. He didn't blame her, but consciously trying to give her space. And that made her feel even more guilty. 

In the late afternoon, finally time for the Aston ride.. Chloe and Lucifer rode together in an awkward, long stretched silence. The weight of the silence pressing her heart, and she could feel Lucifer's occassional side glances even thought his attention was solely on the road.. When they reached the MME workshop, he cleanly parked the red Aston in front of a vallet

"Return it so much with a scratch and I will see you in hell. " He said to the bland man while handing over the keys to him. His tone was playful, but Chloe couldn't help but to feel her stomach churn at the mention of Hell. She was trying. She really was. To handle the facts that Heaven and hell were real.. To handle the fact that the Devil was walking beside her.. She gulped nervously, as the memories of the red, flaggered creature in front of the Pierce's body flashed across the mind. Lucifer seemed to have noticed her uneasiness and he stepped three feet away from her keeping enough space for a baby elephant in between them. Chloe felt both regret and relief. 

Okay, time to start a convo..Chloe thought.

"Couldnt you just bring the corvette? " 

"Gone for cleaning service. " Lucifer replied blandly. Chloe sighed internally, she couldn't help but feel the twitch of sadness at his distance. 

"Okay, it's a pretty straight forward. We couldn't trace the threatening text sent to our victim but if the killer murdered just to win the auction, then.. And the car that Derek won was Tucker 48, so whoever So if we find the car then whoever it's being handed off to might be our killer. " 

To her surprise, Lucifer was unusually silent though out the whole conversation. He was listening, but he made no effort to pass a remark or any quip. It was becoming more and more difficult for Chloe to continue the conversation. And not to mention the distance he was maintaining was uncomfortably far. Somehow Chloe felt guilty for whatever going on with him. Maybe he was disgusted with her? Dan told her that he didn't want to work this case.. But yet he was. Why was he? 

"Lucifer? " Chloe asked. 

"Hmm? " He replied

"Why are you here? " She said. 

Lucifer scowled a bit, angry on himself but then he slipped onto the mask of his unreadable expression. "I didn't impose myself on this case, Detective. You all wanted my Aston to get in. And no one drives it but me. "

 _Wanted the Aston to get in. Not him._ He was very careful with his words, yet the emotions were heavy. As if he was being used for his advantages. He was just a play thing. And this case, this case was Just a favour. As much as he craved Chloe to see this whole month, it pained him equally to find out that their partnership won't be the same anymore. She was working with him, hell, she agreed to ride with him even! But still the vibe she was giving, that she was scared twisted his heart in the worst possible way. He tried to keep his distance, but still he felt that was not enough. He felt guilty to make her feel that way. He felt like a monster. And a monster doesn't deserve to be loved. 

"Found the guy! " Lucifer suddenly pointed out to a thin, half bald man in a white T-shirt and jeans who was just being handed the keys of the Tucker 48..Both Lucifer and Chloe pushed past the crowd and walked behind him. He was tok excited to notice them and when Chloe pat on his back, "LAPD",and as soon as the words escaped her mouth, he jerked away from them and started running.. Chloe took the heels immediately trying to catch the guy, but soon stopped as she saw Lucifer grabbing the runner's collar in a neat way and tossing him to the ground. 

"See, didn't have to chase him at all! He got tossed off.. " Lucifer tried a quip, for old time's sake and earned an eye roll. At least they can pretend to be normal. Pretend. 

After interrogating the suspect they found out he was not the killer, he ran as he thought the cops would arrest him for selling kit cars. But they got another lead.. A guy with whom the victim frequently roped up in fights, who owned an awful Polynesian green Geo Metro '92 car. 

"You know you can go back to the penthouse if you want to.. " Chloe asked hesitantly, seeing the stiffness in Lucifer the entire time. With this said, Lucifer instantly froze, a flash of fear and pain appeared on his face for a second before it slipped back to neutrality. _Shouldnt have said that! He misinterpreted._ Chloe regretted. She didn't want him to leave. She just thought he was uncomfortable around her. 

"Is.. Is that what you desire Detective? I mean I thought Joe wanted me for the case.. But it's alright, I can head back if you want.. " He said quite shakily, as he was afraid to hear the answer. He should not be. He knew, that Chloe hated him and she didn't want him around. But still.. 

"No.. No no, I want you to stay. I mean if that's what you want. You aren't exactly a consultant now, but you are, you know, helpful to the case.. " Chloe said diffidently. 

_ofcourse. Helpful to the case. Just a favour.._ Lucifer thought bluntly before nodding. The ride to the precinct was again silent. Every minute seemed like a stretch ice berg, but he dared not to initiate a conversation, though he wanted Chloe to say something, anything, even if she has to say 'Bugger off! ' .. He has longed for her voice, the honey sweet voice.. For a month! Deep down he was enjoying every minutes of her discussing the case, but the fear and shakiness in her voice was killing him. 

********

Ella saw Lucifer approach Chloe's desk, he didn't make a sign of sitting or fiddling with the things on the desk, he just simply stood by there, cautious of his presence while Chloe and Dan reported to the Lieutenant's office filling him with the details about the case. Though he talked to everyone strolling around him, with an equal smile and charm, he never initiated a conversation. In the lone time, he just gazed at Chloe's photo with Trixie on the desk. Ella's heart shattered into two, seeing him struggle like this. She quickly composed herself, mentally preparing to get on with the conversation brewing in her mind. She still seemed pretty shaken up with the concept of Lucifer being the Actual Devil, but she knew he meant no harm, not to her or anyone else. 

She casually approached the British being, "Lucifer? " 

He straightened up, throwing up the brightest smile he knew at his Miss Lopez, though the smile quite didn't reach his eyes, that's the best he could pull. Anyone who didn't know Lucifer would have been in the mirage of him being happy with that smile. But his closed ones, like Linda, Ella and.. and Chloe knew him better. "Ah, Miss Lopez, I missed you. Though I need to apologize for my inconvenient behavior of refusing to meet you this month. I was, eh, entangled in a rather nasty personal problem, you see. I was hoping to meet you for the apology. " He cleared his throat. Why was he nervous? Why was he afraid of loosing another friend? His life has been all about loosing. He should have gotten used to it! 

Ella's seeming silence, was literally tearing him apart, until she threw him a sunshine smile and crushed his body under her Ella Hug, Lucifer flinched but didn't move away. He didn't even realise how deperately he needed a hug,untill now. "Eheeee, I can't stay mad at you! But you promise me, you won't cut me out again! " Ella pulled back, the smile still pinned on her face. 

"I give you my word, Miss Lopez. " He smiled, genuinely. Not the predator smirk. 

"Well, can you come with me for a sec? To the lab, I mean I was wondering to catch up! " She said soulfully. And who can turn her sunshine request down? So Lucifer nodded and followed her. As Ella closed the Lab door behind them, her face turned into a serious one. Lucifer frowned not knowing her change of mood. 

"Miss Lopez are you alright? " He asked, confused. 

"Well, you know about my friend Rae Rae right? You asked me once.. " She asked. 

Lucifer was unsure where the conversation was heading, why was Miss Lopez suddenly telling about Azrael? Has something happened? 

"Yes I do remember actually. Has something happened? " 

"Umm, yesterday, I was examining the white feathers found at the Pierce crime scene, and that's when she showed up. We had a talk. Umm, she told me that she was not s ghost. She was an angel. " Ella shifted foot to foot, clearly nervous but not scared. 

Lucifer's chest tightened, he could guess why he was there. But he surely was not ready for another blow. _I knew this day would come.. But please not.. Not today. I can't see her hatred.. Not with the detective's.._ He kept his lips tight into a thin line. 

"I know Lucifer. " 

He feared this statement the most. "Know what? " His voice wavered, breaking into unwanted sobs.. 

"That you are The Devil. " 

Lucifer said nothing, instead he dropped his head low, in a defeated posture, letting out a long exasperated sigh,he walked off to the door, trying to give yet another friend the space and loosing her in the process. 

"No wait, where are you going? " Ella blurted out stopping Lucifer on his tracks. He looked at her, his eyes glassy and for a moment she could have sworn she saw his lips quivering.. 

"I understand Miss Lopez, if you want to stay away from me. Knowing the truth about me is not easy. And I understand if you hate me or do not want to see-"

"Woah, woah, wait wait buddy.. I never said that I hate you or am scared of you! I just wanted to talk. "

"You.. You are not? " Lucifer was utterly shocked, nay bewildered. Ella knew the truth about him yet she didn't run, he didn't repulse her? How? Why? 

"No you idiot! Why would I? You are the most wonderful person I have ever met, Devil or not! And I love and respect you as my brother! " She came out to give another hug to her friend. He remained frozen, unable to process what happened. 

After two long minutes of hugging, Ella finally pulled back and what saw in Lucifer's eyes was enough to make her heart jump. Hope and disbelief. 

"Are you sure Miss Lopez, I mean you don't have to-" He said after four attempts of merely moving his lips.. 

"Yes! But now I need answers okay! Firstly, I was so worried! That you locked yourself in the penthouse! I came looking for you four times, and then even called Linda! "

"I apologize yet again Miss Lopez. It seems you are not the only one who stumbled upon my identity recently.. "

"Chloe knows too. I know. " 

Lucifer frowned a bit, but his expressions soon changed to hurt and sadness. "Yes, she does. And she.. Well she wants me as far as possible. I was giving the Detective her space Miss Lopez. " He scoffed, but the sound was heart breaking. 

"Aww, Lucifer, you know that's not true. She is working her way through man.. I know she reacted in a bad way, like literally bad way but she was okay with you.. "

"I don't blame her Miss Lopez. Frankly I am myself a bit shocked that you are taking this crash course on Divinity so well. The good Doctor went lunatic for good two weeks..! " 

Ella huffed up a laugh.. "Ah, well I still required lots of Tequila though. But I guess I trust both of you, you and Rae Rae, enough to not let my fears take control over me. "

Lucifer gave her a sad smile, Miss Lopez trusted him, but the Detective didn't. Somehow this confessing made him even smaller, a failure to himself. After all these years, after everything that they have been through, Chloe didn't trust him enough. Though what else he expected? Trusting a Monster? Being friends with him is one thing, but living a life with him.. Its impossible. 

Just then Chloe entered the room, and if any tension in the room was there, it quickly slipped up into strict professional facade. The Detective mind could tell her that something was off, but she decided not to ask any questions. It was definitely related to Lucifer being.. Well

"So, any news on the scare dude, that Derek had a fight with? " She asked.. 

Ella quickly jumped into her forensic scientist mode, and pin pointed to the tablet in front of them, "So these 16 individuals drive Geo metros in the Try county area.. "

Lucifer randomly picked up a profile, "See this, Mike Tyson, very scary looking.. " It was a relief to see hints of old Lucifer, but Chloe suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. 

"No what about this guy in the jail house stats? " Chloe pointed to a profile.. He was strong, bald headed with brown overflowing beard and tattoos all over his neck and hand.. 

"That's Sid Kluge. " Ella said. " Well, I think you hit the jackpot Decker. Yeah Rapsheet full of B&Es and aggravated assaults.. "

"And the address, right after the Venice Boulavard, near the dispensary you so love. " Chloe looked at Lucifer. She didn't know why she made the comment, but she had to. She had to show him that she still cared. 

"Oh.you know me so well Detective. " Saying this he left the room, hiding the underlying pain in his face. It was more of a sad confession than a funny remark. He heavily wished Chloe didn't know all of him. Then they wouldn't have been in this phase. So close, yet so far! 

*********

When Lucifer and Decker showed up in Sid Kluge's house, he was already dead.. 

"This case might drag a bit longer than I expected. " Lucifer commented once they found the body.. Since then both of them were trying to find out the connection between the two murderers, yet came up with nada. It frustrated Chloe.. 

"There is no way, that our lead suspect ends up dead after the murder of the first victim! There has to be a connection! " She let an exasperated groan. 

"You know I really had forgotten how solving crimes feel like. " He gave a genuine smile. A soft one and Chloe's heart filled with warmth. "I know it's not easy for you to work with me, especially now. But it just feels right. I needed this, one last time. " Lucifer sighed, and the warmth in Chloe's heart was quickly replaced by a void.. _one last time. His last case... God no!_ "And I truly apologize Detective, for whatever trouble I have caused. "

"Lucifer i-" 

And then, Ella came flying into the room, a beaming smile spread across her face.. "Found it! Not only found it, but I think I solved it! " She threw a picture on the table. A picture of three guys in a bomb suit, she pointed to the two guys, and said. "This is Derek, Sid and you recognise the third guy? "

"Yeah it's one of the witnesses we talked to. " Chloe said, recalling the moment she asked the questions to the guy

"Yeah, Marco Franklin. The three of them served atthe Explosive ordinance in Iraq, but wait there's more. Marco was just released from the prison two days ago, after serving a nine years sentence for a bank robbery. He bombed his way into the vault, got caught coming out and drum roll, it is suspected that he had two other accomplices never apprehended! "

"So Sid and Derek were his partners, He gets caught, they don't.. Maybe they double crossed him. And now he's out-" Chloe said. 

"-looking for Closure.. " Lucifer finished. Another jab in her heart.. _last case.. His last case. Last case of our partnership..._

"Yeah call it whatever you want, I call it Solved! " Ella laughed. 

"That's a great theory, but now it's all this is. A theory. We don't have any prove. " Chloe replied, in an attempt to elongate the case as long as possible. She was not ready to lose him. Again. 

Lucifer though kept silent, watching the whole thing going on. Watching Chloe to struggle with her words to prolong the case. 

"Witnesses saw a man matching Marco's description to attack Sid in his apartment. " Ella informed. 

"Circumstantial." Chloe struggled. 

"Decker you are putting me through the wringer! Respect! " Ella said.. "But I got you beat, the striations found in the scene match Marco's nine mm, I got all your bases covered! Boom! " 

"But we still need to catch the killer. " She tried again. 

"Way ahead of you! Dan helped me with the records and now he's on his way to Marco's apartment now with some unis! There's nothing left for us to do! But let's get our party on! " Ella blurted out happily failing to see the sudden disappointment in both Lucifer and Chloe's eyes. "You feel like dancing? I feel like dancing, I am gonna go change. " Ella blabbered while she left the room, leaving an awkward Deckerstar behind. 

"Lucifer, you still can work with the LAPD, as my partner.. " Chloe said.. 

"No." His tone was firm, and final, though it was covered with evident sadness.. "No Detective. We have worked far too long without accepting each other for who we truly are. I just returned your favour, and I would not like to continue anymore. It's best for me and for everyone. "

 _Favour? What favour is he talking about?_ "What favour? " The words escaped her mouths without even thinking. 

Lucifer's throat tightened, and he struggled with words. Saying whatever he thought loud would break him, and he can't afford to do that. Not in front of his Detective. "You might ask Daniel. All I have to say is Great last case, great partnership. " He initially extended his hands to her for a formal handshake, but stopped midway. He then recoiled, putting the hand back in his pocket and left the room. 

Chloe stood there alone, eyes filling with tears. _I don't want lose him, but can I accept him for who he truly is? His last case..._ Was all swirled around her mind.. But then it struck, What favour?? What did Dan say to him? Did his unLuciferness was a part of the reaction to what Dan said, besides their Rocky ground? She had to know. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I felt that only going about the case might make it boring. So I decided to split this case into two chapters. This chapter might be s bit slow but hey what's the rush man? Let me know how you feel.. Pour in the lovely comments. Constructive criticism is always welcomed.   
> Love love.. 😁


	6. Glad you moved on..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was particularly difficult for me.. I don't know how this will be. But please tolerate it for me. And also thank you for all the lovely comments.. I really appreciate it!

Chloe searched the precinct for any sign of Dan, but there was none. Oh.. He has gone to search Marco's house with the Unis. She needed to get her answer, but it seemed she has to wait.. Aimlessly she strolled towards her desk and sank down. Her mind desperately drifting to the moment Lucifer said Goodbye, permanently. Saying Goodbye doesn't mean he was going away, right? Their partnership ended, but they can still be friends? If he wants to. And that, Chloe wasn't sure of. She desperately tried to focus on the piles of incomplete paperworks. After fidgeting with them but doing nothing for an hour, she finally gave up. She sighed heavily resting her head on the back of the chair. The uneasiness settling down her heart. It was then she nearly jumped as Ella shouted in her ear.. 

"Decker, you are still working? I said Case closed! So come on, let's get our party started!! " She squealed cheerfully. 

Chloe gave her a half hearted smile, "I do have some paperworks to do Ella. I don't think I will be joining you. "

"Nonsense! You can do it later. But right now, let's get you distracted. Come on, Lux is overflowing today. We better get going.. "

She stiffened at the mention of Lux. There were other clubs as well in LA.. But somehow a part of her ached to go there. She didn't know why. When was the last time she actually visited Lux? After she started dating Mar-Pierce, she hardly stepped foot in his Lux. And then hell broke loose. And then she didn't go there once.. Will Lucifer allow her there? She didn't know. 

"I don't think Lux is a good idea.. " She said hesitantly. And immediately Ella's gleeful face turned serious. 

"Are you still afraid of him? " She asked. 

"No.. No" It was more like she was convincing herself.. But Ella looked sceptical. "I.. Okay, maybe a part of me is afraid of him. But that's not the reason I don't want to go to Lux. "

"Decker, he won't eat you up! And why won't you go there? "

"I dont know if Lucifer would allow me or not. " 

"Aw, Chloe, he is mad about you! He won't raise a single finger at you for visiting his club. On the contrast, he will be happy!! " Ella smiling face returned, and before Chloe could protest she was already dragging her towards the exit elevator of the precinct. Technically she could use a distraction.. 

As both of them sat in Chloe's car, she immediately unblocked Lucifer's number and sent him a text. 

" **Hi, Ella wanted to come to Lux, she is taking me there. Do you mind if I come? "** She considered a minute before hitting the send button, and waited for his response.. The phone chimed withing seconds. 

_**"When have you ever been refused? "**_ And immediately after Lucifer went offline. 

Ella was by then whining to make Chloe start the engine, "Come on, what are you waiting for Decker? " But she couldn't shake the text Lucifer has sent her. It was so cold, so distant. Like he was a stranger to her. Through the entire car ride, Chloe's phone kept on beeping and chiming. It wasn't untill they stopped in a red light, that she pulled out her phone to check the notifications. 

Right, after a month she has unblocked his number. So all his missed calls and unread messages and coming in now. 

**1089 unread messages.**

**337 missed calls.**

The temptation to open all the messages and read it was high, but she could not do that, not when they were driving. She blinked back the tears forming in her eyes and drove silently to Lux. 

***********

Lux was flooding. Who could tell it was early evening? Not to mention office hours? Chloe and Ella didn't even have to wait in the line to enter, they were a special leverage, did everybody know them? Like Lucifer made sure his friends would never wait to enter Lux? Both of the girls pushed past the crowd and made their way towards the bar. Chloe instinctively searched the club for Lucifer's presence, but nope. He was absent. Earlier when Chloe used to come to Lux, Lucifer would always for her down, to welcome her. But now.. Her stomach churned. 

Patrick gave the girls a warm smile, "Ah, Miss Decker and Ella, please come. " He winked at Ella and suddenly Chloe didn't want to know what happened between them.. But Ella being her, she whispered into her ears no matter, "I have visited 4 times here in a month, last time I made my visit a bit more pleasurable. " 

Chloe cleared her throat awkwardly.. Gosh! Patrick brought them their preferred drinks and Ella downed two shots Instantly.. They talked light for half an hour, and by the end of her sixth shot, Ella was hammered. "I am gonna go to the Dance floor, wanna come? " The forensic scientist asked. 

"No, I am good. " Chloe replied, and Ella disappeared into the crowd. Once she was alone, she pulled out the phone and started reading the messages. The messages sent by Lucifer. 

Maximum messages were in the first five days, sent frequently within one hours.. 

The first day was the most. 

**12th July**

**3:05 pm:** **"Detective, are you okay? I mean you saw my.. Well... I hope you are doing fine. "**

**3:45 pm: "I know you hate me and all, just to tell you that I will not harm you.**

**5:06 pm: " Did you tell Daniel? "**

**6:12 pm: "My wings still hurt, but I don't know why am I even sending this.. Sorry. "**

**7:19 pm: "I am sorry Detective. "**

**8:21 pm: "I wish I was human, getting drunk with this supernatural metabolism is a dream! .. Sorry. "**

**9:54 pm: "The lieutenant called me. You have decided to dissolve me as your partner... It's ok. Truly.**

**I understand if you need space and time. I understand if you hate me even. I just.. I will give my resignation tomorrow. Don't worry. "**

**11:22 pm: "I know you don't want to receive my messages, but do you hate me? "**

**13th July:**

**7:30 am: I gave my resignation. I know you have blocked me. So I can text you. I know it won't reach you.**

**11:34 am: I can't get rid of this numbness!! Please make it stop!**

**12:22 pm: Please, I am sorry.!**

**8:34 pm: I am hosting an orgy. Ha. I have been blocked, why am I even bothered?!**

With more and more time, it seemed as if it was his journal. The messages started to become personal. 

**14th July 6:02 PM: "I so damn wished to be loved again.. I should have known better.**

**15th July 5:31 am: Detective has abandoned me, la la la.. Sorry.**

**21st July, 3:09 am: I cant sleep, I can't eat.. I miss her. I just want to see her, once.. Just once..**

There was the change, Lucifer was writing the message in third person.. As it was his note book. All his messages sounded so vulnerable. Tears were streaming down her face, she scrolled past a few hundred messages untill one particularly struck her. 

**1st August, 8:21 am : Shall I go back to hell?**

**9:45 am: I think she has moved on in life. I should move on too.. I just have to figure out how.**

And then, the last day, 

**2nd August, 12:45 pm: I am drowning.**

And then there was no more messages, 2nd August about twenty days earlier. Chloe kept staring at her phone, until it became dark. Her cheeks were wet with tears. It wasn't long before she realised that she was walking, walking towards the penthouse elevator. Her face was smudged with tears and she didn't know how to stop them. What had she done?! All these days, she thought that he must have moved on. But now.. She just abruptly cut him off her life and didn't even think how it affected him! She had promised him that she won't run away, he was so scared, so scared that she would leave him once she got to know the 'monstrous side' of him, and that's exactly what she had done! It was so obvious that he would probably hate her by now! 

She clicked the elevator button, but it won't open.. What the hell? It was then, she notice the pass code just below the button. This wasnt there before? No! Lucifer would never prevent people to enter into his penthouse. Would he? It was four digit, she tried to enter the sequence

2011? The year he came to LA

NO. 

1234? 

NO. 

1981? her birth year? 

NO. 

7734? Spelled Hell upwards? 

No.. 

Everytime the pass code changed to red , it was eating her up.. After enough tries she dejectedly went back to the bar.. 

She couldn't concentrate on anything.. Her mind drifted to the time when Deckerstar wasn't just a name, it was their partnership, their friendship. She would think about being couple, but she wanted their friendship atleast. She could be his friends till now, if he wants.. She didn't notice the two white guys flirting with her, or that they were touching her. She just kept nodding absent mindedly. 

It wasn't until a sharp pain in her jolted her away from her thoughts.. What the? She looked around to see, that one of guys were busy giving her a hicky.. No no no! She pushed him back in disgust, but then her eyes landed on the balcony of the club. _no no no no shit!! Shit!!!_

There Lucifer was standing. Their eyes met. Chloe stared at him in horror while Lucifer's face painted in hurt. His eyes were glassy. She realised that he saw the guys love biting her and she knew how that looked to him.. 

_shit! Fuck!_

Chloe pushed past the guys and ran towards him, but it was too late, he already made his way towards the elevator.. Chloe hardly reached the stairs, when the elevator door closed and the carrier moved up.. 

********

He was considering going down through out the evening. Chloe had texted him about coming to Lux. He wanted to meet her, but at the same time feared of her reaction.. 

After three bottles of whiskey and enough strength, Lucifer finally made his way down. He hovered over the balcony to have a good look on the club.. And then.. He saw. 

Chloe was sitting in the bar. And two guys - their hands all over her, one was biting her neck.. Pang of jealousy hit straight in his stomach.. He growled underneath, his hands gripped at the railing too hard to dent it.. He gritted his teeth, and it took him all his self control to not go and beat the two guys into pulp. He tortured himself, kept looking at them until.. until she saw him too. That's it. 

He couldn't take it any longer. An animal like son escaped through his mouth, his throat burning with pain and anger.. His eyes hurt and he quickly slipped back into the penthouse again. He barely registered Chloe coming after him. 

It was not until every single piece of furniture (except the piano) and every bottle of alcohol was ruined that he decided to go down again.. He wiped the last traces of tears in his face and walked in to the elevator again.. 

*********

Ella was tired and she reached the bar only to find Chloe gulping shots vigorously. "Woah woah, Decker, slow down Buddy.. "

But she wasn't listening.. "Okay Decker, Dan called me. " This piqued Chloe's interest.. She was still surprisingly sober. "The Unis cleared Marco's apartment. Not a trace.. "

"So we still need to find him. " Chloe said. Her eyes we're brimming with tears, but she won't let them fall.. And it was then Ella noticed the larg hicky on her neck.. 

"Looks like someone's having fun.. " Ella licked her lips seductively.. "I must say-"

"Good evening Ladies. " Lucifer cut them off. Chloe shuddered at his presence- both with guilt and fear.. Though she took all of him - he was perfectly dressed, but the lines on his face said different.. And he had red rimmed eyes??.. Was he crying?.. No it's probably Drugs..? 

"Hey, Devil!! " Ella went on to hug her devil friend which he returned politely. "Where have you been man? "

"Ah, I was, eh, in my penthouse.. I was a bit pre occupied with certain things.. "

"Ahh.. " Ella winked at him. "Preoccupied.. I got it.. " and Lucifer chuckled rather nervously. 

Chloe couldn't help but notice that he was consciously avoiding her presence. It felt like a knife in her heart. 

"Would you come to dance? I am going to dance again.. I am full of energy tonight! " Ella squeaked. 

"Ah, let me down some drinks Miss Lopez. I will be joining you shortly. " Lucifer smiled. 

Ella nodded and left them. 

Chloe dared to speak. "Lucifer about what you saw-"

"It's alright Detective. I didn't mind at all. " Lucifer poured himself a whiskey, still avoiding her gaze. "After all who doesn't like a little fun?! " He chuckled.. Clearly a fake chuckle. "I am just glad you moved on.. "

"Lucifer its not-"

"Detective Decker!!! " A shout followed by a gun shot cut them off.. The festivities of Lux died down and people panicked.. "Nobody will escape! There is a bomb in this building! " Marco shouted, pointing the gun towards Chloe

Lucifer immediately stood in front of her, shielding her away from the gun protectively. "As much as I appreciate your well timed interruption, you can't just walk into my club and-"

Bam! 

Chloe closed her eyes at sudden loud sound of the gunshot. When she opened it, Lucifer was already bleeding. He was shot in the spleen. Panick rose to her throat as she saw him hit the ground with a loud thud! 

"lucifer! " She screamed.. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :(


	7. If that's what you desire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, one question, what is beta reading? I am kinda still figuring out this Ao3 stuffs.

One bullet.. 

One gun shot.. 

That's all it took to wrench and throw Chloe's heart from her throat. She saw Lucifer crumple and then hit the floor with a loud thud. It took a moment for her to process whatever happening around her but when she did, it was like the feeling that she was choked. 

"Lucifer! " She rushed to his aid. She could see him tremble, his eyes heavy and clearly focusing on his breathing, which came out a desperate gasps of air. Her brain rewinding to the days of her training, where basic first aids were taught.. Right, pressure to the wound. She quickly pulled out her jacket and crumpled it into a thick ball and pressed against his wound. With a vain attempt Lucifer tried to lift his head off the ground. But it dropped down anyways again with a loud thud. Out of all this she didn't notice when Ella crept to his other side, not until Ella took his head on her lap.. Beads of sweat already forming in his forehead and with his jaw tightly clenched, it was evident he was clearly struggling to control his pain as much as possible. 

"D-tive.. " Lucifer said through gritted teeth and pants.. His glassy red rimmed eyes staring at Chloe, he was having a hard time to keep them open., and she could see only one thing in them. The thing which slapped Chloe hard! - Acceptance. 

"You are gonna be okay. Alright.. " Chloe assured.. Her vision blurry with the fire forming behind her eyes.. And she desperately blinking it to keep her tears at bay.. She could not lose him. She knew that. She couldn't even imagine her life with him.. But now is not the time to cry.. Absolutely not. She has to be strong.. All of this made her forget that there was still a bomb in the building, or that Marco still was making threats behind them. The patron's shouts and Marco's threats came out nothing but as muffled hums to her ears.. The only thing she possible worry was Lucifer. 

Lucifer's half choked gasps brought Chloe out of her reverie. He was struggling to breath.. 

"Chloe, he is choking on his own blood. We need to sit him upright. " Ella suggested. Her fingers threading to his hair in a soothing pattern, but of course it's of no use. 

"Hey buddy, come on, we need you to sit okay? " Ella urged softly.. When Lucifer didn't responded, Chloe spoke. 

"Lucifer, please.. " She said softly. 

".. Kay" He panted at last. And with that, his effort to sit upright started.. Chloe and Ella supported him taking his almost all the body weight, Ella's hands wrapped around his shoulders and Chloe wrapped her hands around his waist, carefully ignoring the injured portion.. 

He was damn heavy! Of course he was! Tallness wasnt a factor.. Chloe had seen people of his greater size with lesser weight. But Lucifer was different. Maybe with supernatural metabolism, he had supernatural body mass? Was that even a thing? Anyways, not important.. 

With an extremely strained effort from his side, and maximum support from Chloe and Ella they managed to make Lucifer sit against a lounge in the middle of club.. He was extremely tired with all the movements. The shirt front which was light blue initially was now soaked in red, so was Chloe's jacket pressed against the wound. And every silent cough Lucifer let out, a part of her heart froze in terror and panick. 

"Detective Decker! I am talking to you! " Marco shouted.. It was only then amidst Lucifer's muffled coughs and silent pants, that she considered Marco's presence.. 

As much as she wanted to stab the man into his chest, all she did was face him and surrendered her hands in air.. 

"I need you to find my wife! Now! Or else I am going to blow off this place! " He shouted.. "Give me your phone and the gun! " 

Chloe did . Her jaw tight, and fingers intching with the need to punch him then and there, do hell with the consequences. But she couldn't. Too many lives were at risk. "Okay, okay I will do whatever you say, I will stay as well, but this man.. " She pointed towards Lucifer, "this man needs an ambulance now, and you have to let the others go. " Chloe said as calm as she can manage. 

"NO! NO ONE IS LEAVING! I need you to find my wife! This,this was a mistake! I didnt mean to shoot him! " Marco was now shaking his gun vehemently towards her.. Lucifer's breathing hitched behind her, she could literally feel him grow tensed even as he was injured and there was a good distance between them.. 

"You did all of these for finding your wife? " Chloe tried to have a little sympathy, but failed miserably. She could not find an inch of sympathy for that man. The man who just shot her life-, no not life, but her best friend and claimed it to be a mistake all to find his bloody wife??! "Marco we know you killed your former partner, but this is not going to help the situation. If you kill me or anyone else then-"

"Detective I just need you to find my wife! That's it. If you don't, I am gonna blow this building to pieces and if you do, then everybody is spared.. " He randomly pointed a girl from the crowd and threw her a heavy bag, "Hey you, go and collect people's phones! Now, go!! " The girl did what he asked between sobbing and crying.. 

Chloe moved back to Lucifer, "Lucifer are you okay? "

"A bit of a stomach ache Detective.. Nothing to worry about" He said, almost spitting out blood from his mouth. 

Yeah right. Nothing to worry about. 

"He needs a hospital Chloe" Ella said, keeping equal pressure to wound. 

"No I am f fine.. " Lucifer panted. "Just give me this guy so I can tear off his l-limbs like a turkey leg.. " A coughing fit took after as soon as he finished the sentence.. The only option Chloe saw, was to help Marco find his wife, so that at least everyone is safe. She needed to inform Dan.. 

***********

Minutes passed on, and what felt was like an eternity. Marco kept pacing up and down. Exhaustion burnt in every bone of Chloe. And beside her was a dying man - devil.. Lucifer could hardly breathe by then. The corner of his lips were slowly turning blue and blood dripping by. He looked white as a sheet, and the bags and shadows under his eyes were darker than the nights. Still he was breathing, he was alive. But for how long? Not long. She could hear Ella talking to Lucifer, her desperate attempt to keep him awake. If he somehow slipped into unconsciousness it would be very difficult to revive him.. 

"You know what, stop talking like you are dying. You are not dying! You are the Devil! " Ella scolded. 

"Y-yes. I I am. B-but I have my d-downsides. But... " He panted.. "I hate to return to hell sober.. "

How the fuck can he accept his death so easily!? Like he is relieved to die? It was time for Chloe to take over. 

"No! No you are not going to hell Lucifer! " She said.. "You dare not to leave me! "

Lucifer chuckled painfully, looking away from her. And Chloe realised what she said. He never left her. It was she who threw him out. It was she who stomped his feeling like an insect and never gave him a chance. It was she who uprooted their friendship, trust and.. and even love like it was a plaything. Chloe could see the pain in his eyes, not only the physical pain but also months of hurt, and he didn't try to hide it. 

She pressed his forearm gently, nudging him to look at her. He did. His eyes were glassy and tears forming at the corners. "Hey, I.. I want us to be partners.. I want you by my side. Don't.. Don't leave me please. I can't.. I.. I am sorry.. Please. " Chloe didn't stop the tears from falling and for a second Lucifer panicked seeing her cry. But then, 

"I-i don't think that's a good idea.. " He struggled to speak. 

"Please.. I know I fired you.. But I I am working through it. I am trying to accept you. "

Lucifer's face tightened. His lip were thin and then he sighed. "Is that w-what you desire?. "

Chloe could feel the lump in her throat, she did. Of course she desired Lucifer to be her partner. At least. But is that what he wanted? Did he even want her? After whatever she had done, how did he not hate her? But yes, she desired Lucifer. "Yes.. "

She saw Lucifer's shoulders tightening, as he considered her answer for a moment. "I-if I stay alive, then I will be your partner as long a-as long as I am h-here. "

For moment Chloe thought of asking Lucifer what he meant by saying As long as he is here. But then she didn't voice it. She was grateful to him for atleast agreeing to it. She sighed. 

Lucifer was on the verge of sleeping. He didn't have much time. Although the bleeding slowed down, but that was because maybe most of the blood was drained from his body. Chloe observed Marco. As he kept looking at the balcony it didn't take her longer to figure out where the bomb is. She told so to Ella. 

"We need a distraction. " Chloe said. 

Just then, "Who puts Green onions in a sandwich! " The silent club echoed with the tantrum of a grown criminal. Marco threw the sandwich in front of Chloe, Ella and Lucifer, "I hope they are good in finding people rather than taking food orders! " He spat. 

"Dan would not make such a mistake. " Chloe said, as she carefully picked the sandwich up. 

"Are you sure, cause I saw him eating marble because it was in a candy dish. " Lucifer coughed. His head dropped low in tiredness. 

"No no, now is not the time to make a mistake. Chloe is right. I just have to deactivate a bomb that I have never seen before, before this crazy bomber dude blows up this place right? I can do that?... No no, I can't do that. Everything is wrong, the sandwich is wrong.. " Ella was literally panicking.. 

"Maybe the sandwich isn't wrong. Maybe there is a message in it. " Chloe said. 

As Ella kept on blabbering, "Miss Lopez, p-please, everything will be okay. I have every f-faith in you. " Lucifer panted.. His words were now muffled and with every word, blood dripped down his lips to his chin. His face was now covered with sweat, and the body grew colder and colder.. 

"That's just it! " Chloe said. "This sandwich is a message. Only one shop gives green onion in the sandwich and its in South West California! Dan knows that.. It means they are gonna breach from the South West. "

"Is that a good thing? " Ella asked. 

"It is, if you can diffuse the bomb.. " Chloe replied. 

***********

Every breath was a battle of its own. The sharp jostling pain in his lungs while he gasped for air, was another reason for him to await the darkness. The coppery taste of bloody in his tongue and throat making him thirsty and choked. He was freezing. He was tired. And he was going to die. Lucifer fought with every thing to keep his blurring, blackening vision to not go completely black. The voices of the Detective and Miss Lopez were now only muffled. And half of the things he couldn't make out. He was waiting for hell to be honest.

When the Detective told him to be his partner, for a moment, it felt like hope. Maybe Chloe wants him. Maybe she has changed her mind. Maybe. But the reluctance in her voice, the struggle to say that she was still trying to even accept who he was, shattered the every hope fluttering in his heart. 

Its a favour! She has put up with a lot of crap for you! And you owe her! The words echoed in his mind.. And surprisingly the voices were a mixture of Daniel and Chloe's. He laughed internally. He can do that. He can do her a favour if that's what she was asking. He can be a tool to her. Most probably he will die. And if he doesn't, then he might stick with the LAPD until he moves to Las Vegas. If Chloe is feeling guilty, then he should do whatever he can for removing her guilt. He doesn't want her in hell, at any cost. 

It doesn't take him long, when the room starts spinning.. And breathing becomes shallow.. His lungs burnt with the need to bleed, and his spleen burnt when he breathed. He vaguely saw Ella move up to the balcony, or a skinny blonde woman hugging Marco. Why would anyone hug that dullard? And then he saw him lying on the floor with a knife to the chest. He could hear the Detective saying something to the woman, but could not figure out anything. He pushed himself with the last bit of his energy, sprawling on the floor beside the injured Dullard. 

"Doesn't feel so good, does it? " He let out a hufty laugh, before welcoming the darkness surrounding him. 

*******

Chloe's heart almost stopped as she saw Lucifer loosing his consciousness. He lay on the floor, like a lifeless corpse. And as much as she wanted to throw herself onto him, she could not do so. The woman, standing in front of her, Marco's wife Leona, now had the detonator in her hand. Turned out, that she was not merely his wife, but also his partner in crime. She was the mastermind behind the bank robbery and Marco wanted to take on his final partner. 

"You are not getting into my head that easily. " The woman smirked, moving to the South West corner. 

"I am not. But I just wanted to bring you to the South West corner. " Chloe smirked back. 

Boom! 

With a bang, the walls of the Lux, crashed down. LAPD breaching through the South West corner, causing Leona to fall down and the Detonator was easily caught by Chloe. With a mighty punch on her face, she manged to knock Leona of. The place soon swarmed with buzzing inspectors. And Chloe found herself running to Lucifer's unconscious body. 

"Lucifer, no no.. Please. " She shook him, but no response. "Medic, medic!! " 

Two paramedics immediately reached out, pulling Lucifer to the stretcher and then to the ambulance. Chloe could have ridden with him, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her. 

"Dan? " She said, hiding a bit of annoyance. From the corner of her eyes, she saw the ambulance riding off to the nearest hospital. She wanted to go with Lucifer. But.. 

"Chloe, are you okay? Are you hurt? " He said panicking.. 

"Dan, I am fine. It's Lucifer who is hurt. I must go. "

"Oh. Okay, but there are certain paperworks, you need to finish off first. " Dan said 

Chloe felt snappy "what? What paperwork? Everything can wait Dan, my partner is hurt, I need to see him! "

"Wow! Now he is your partner huh? " Dan smirked. 

"What do you mean? " Chloe tried to keep her anger in control, her fists clenching at her sides. 

"I mean I thought you dissolved him as your partner. And in this case, he wasn't even consulting. We just needed his car thats it. "

"And for that, he is hurt!! Don't you have any humanity in you Dan? You have always blamed him for Charlotte, and now he is almost dying, but you don't find any sympathy!? " She practically shouted. 

"You know what, you might be whimsical. But I am not. He is the reason you could be hurt. But you have to admit, he is not one of the good guys. "

"Dan, he is trying.. He is trying to be better-" 

"Don't give me that crap. Do whatever the hell you want to. But just finish off with the minor paperwork, Lieutenant's order, or go directly speak to him. " Dan strode past her. Even though she didn't ask him what conversation he had with Lucifer that morning. She can't take that. Not now. 

The paperwork took more time than she wanted. It was nearly night, and she was trudging due to exhaustion.. She was pretty sure, if she would drive in this state, a car accident was inevitable. Linda and Ella reached the hospital soon after. She sent Ella a text. 

10:31 pm: Are you there in the hospital? 

"Yes Chloe I am.

"How is Lucifer? "

"He is fine now. Stable. He got out of the OT. He is sleeping. "

"Shall I come over? I need to see him once. "

"No need. You are hammeringly tired now Decker. And also it's of no use. Lucifer is fine. Go get some rest. You can come by tomorrow. Even I am heading home now. "

"Okay."

Chloe was hesitant about leaving Lucifer alone in the hospital. But then again, he was The Devil. He must be fine.. Chloe couldn't even make it to her bedroom. Thank someone, that Trixie was in Dan's. She dragged herself to the living room, sunk into her couch and sleep came to her in seconds.. 

The next morning the first thing she did was to visit the hospital. 

At the reception, "Umm, I am looking for a patient, Lucifer Morningstar. He was shot. " She said

The receptionist after checking in the details, "Well, Mr Morningstar left earlier in the morning. The doctors were adamant of not leaving him so early. But he got off either way. He was discharged. "

Chloe blinked. Speechless. Of course he left. His healing was much faster than she supposed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I thought of not including much of the case, because you are clearly aware of what was going on from the show. And also here I intentionally showed Chloe catching the detonator. 😅  
> Also tried to keep this chapter as much Deckerstar centric as possible. Hopefully this was not as much angsty. Next chapter next week. Thanks! Love love.


	8. Not Okay..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another one.. Enjoy.   
> Ps: Both of my parents are covid positive and they are hospitalised. So I don't think I will be able to update this week. But let's see.

"Doctor?" Lucifer barged into Linda's house, it was 7 in the morning. He had been in the operation theatre the last night, though he absolutely needn't one. He could self heal and the bullet would just pop out of the wound. Although, Chloe wouldn't know that and after he was unconscious, nobody told her that he could heal by himself. One night without the Detective and he was right as rain. But he had just one problem. The problem he has been having for a month now. He can't move on. The last night when the bullet hit him, the wound was less painful than to watch her with someone else. He had forced himself not to lose his temper, not to break down or even accuse the Detective. He couldn't. How could he blame the Detective for moving on in her life? She deserved happiness. And that happiness was not him. He wanted to go away, from her life, from Los Angeles, from his feelings. But somehow an invisible thread has been holding him, or he has been holding that that thread. Either ways, it was easier to stay. Not easy to see the Detective push away from him, not easy to make himself just a tool for the LAPD, not easy to fight the urge to cry or to even hold on to his Chloe..no, Chloe was not his. She had a choice now. She had a choice when she chose Pierce, and she has a choice when she did _not_ choose him. Chloe had free will now. And she was _not his._

"Lucifer? What are you doing here?" Oh how he wished it to be the therapist's voice. But it was not. Maze came out from her room, dressed all in leather - did she even change to night suit?..

"Maze? What are you doing here?" Lucifer tried to sound as cold as possible, but the curiosity in his voice couldn't be ignored. Truth to be told, he has missed her. She was not there when he needed her the most, but was he there when she needed him? She abandoned him, but he did the same to her. And he could not counter that with any arguement.

"I live here. Now you." Maze crossed her arms, but there was no way one could avoid the worry and concern rubbed over her face. Concern for him. Why would anyone do look at him like this? He made sure to shave, bathe, use his hair product, wear the perfect three piece suit, and apply a huge amount of concealer under his eyes, oh and wear a smile. He was supposed to look perfect! Then why was she staring at him, like he was going to die? 

"I came to see the Doctor..." Okay this was awkward..Lucifer's eyes flickered between the ground and Maze, he opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't voice it. 

And Maze being Maze, could very well study his posture. Her friend is too proud to say something first. She has to probe it. "Okay, spill. You are being weird now." She said.

It took another minute for him to voice it. "Err..How are you doing?" 

For a fraction of second, Maze's eyes widen with surprise, but she recovered from it. "Honestly, not perfectly okay." When Lucifer raised an eyebrow at her, she continued, " Chloe kicked me out, Trixie is mad at me and you..you don't want to see me." She sighed. " I came back from my bounty this fast just to apologize to the small human, but I couldn't even meet her, because Decker wouldn't allow me! And I guess I cant even ask you to take me back to hell again.." Maze's eyes were glassy, but not teary. 

Linda came out sleepily, when she heard her friend shouting in the living room. When she saw Lucifer and Maze talking, she decided to go back to her room. They needed privacy and some closure. She would wait until their conversation gets over and Lucifer calls her. 

"I told you Maze, my reason for not taking back to you hell wasn't the possible repercussions from Dad, but because I didn't want to lose you. But lately i've been asking myself to go back. " Lucifer sighed, the last sentence came out from his mouth broken, wrapped in hurt and pain. "But I have given a word to someone. Neitherless, if you truly desire to go back to hell, then..then I shall take you." 

"You..you were thinking of going back?" Maze now sounded alarmed. Lucifer loathed hell, he would do anything to not to return to that place. 

"I cant deny that I have thought about it a couple of times." He sounded..tired and wary. "But I suppose another year on Earth won't do harm. That's the reason I am moving to Las Vegas. "

"The Vegas deal is still on? What about Chloe? What about me?!" 

"As I said Mazikeen, you are no more my servant. If you desire to come with me, you may. If you desire to stay here with Linda, you may. And if you desire to go back then you just have to ask me." 

"So you are asking me to chose between you and Linda and Trixie." Maze nodded. 

"No. I am asking you to question yourself what you truly desire. You are my friend Maze, and I apologize for not being there with you when you needed me. But you also need to know, I just cant live here anymore. I need to move on. Quite literally and figuratively. You still have a couple of months to decide. I will sign the final papers for the Vegas expansion, the end of this week, and once I sign the deal they will start building Lux there. " Lucifer informed. 

Maze nodded again, processing whatever he has told her. Lucifer sounded wary, exhausted. His words were not like the King of Hell, or the old Lucifer. It lacked his charms. He spoke like a shell. Maybe he was pushed too far? Maybe his hurting was worse? But whatever it was Maze knew she couldn't deal with it. Only one person could. Linda.

"So you are not..mad..at me?" Maze asked. 

Lucifer chuckled, and then with a salacious grin, he said, "Tread carefully Maze." 

Maze smiled back. At least they were on their track back. "I need to track a murderous jackass. See you later." She walked past Lucifer and closed the door behind her, leaving him alone. 

After a moment of regaining his composure, he called Linda again. The conversation with Maze was not easy. But at least it was done. Linda appeared again in the living room. This time she looked fresh, at least she has brushed her teeth. "Lucifer! Glad to see you. How are you? You were shot yesterday!" Linda looked concerned. Again with the concern thing! It was annoying the hell out of Lucifer. He was not suffering from Chlamydia! 

"I am fine. More than fine. I just needed your advice Doctor." Lucifer said, throwing his usual grin. Linda gestured him to the couch, and he thankfully sat. Linda sat in front of him, just like their sessions. 

"What brings you here?" Linda said. It was a tone concocting the friendly emotion and the therapist's voice. 

"Well, when I was shot yesterday, The Detective seemed..worried. For me." Lucifer informed.

"Lucifer she cares for you. And you were shot. Why wouldn't she worry?" 

"Does she?" It wasn't a question. Lucifer knew Chloe wouldn't worry for a monster. Maybe she was guilty..oh no. Thats worse! 

"Yes, she does. What Chloe is going through, is incredibly difficult. She might need time, but she also cares for you Lucifer. You are her friend. " 

It was his turn to chuckle. "Friend?" He exhaled sharply. " Her being friend with me hurts me Doctor!" He didn't mean to sound it so hurt, but it did! "Can you even fathom what it does to me, everytime I see fear in her eyes? Every time she repulse me? She hates me Doctor. And I..I don't know why it hurts me." 

Linda was torn. Maintaining a neutral therapist's face was the hardest thing right now, when she saw Lucifer like that, a part of her wept. This was probably the first time, he had been this forthcoming in the session. "Is it because you want her to be more than friends with you?" She chose to be the therapist. 

Lucifer gaped at her, quietly considering her question. "I..i don't know. The night, right before Charlotte died, we..we shared a moment." He smiled at the memory.

"You kissed her?" Linda probed. 

"I did. I told her that my certain side was monstrous. And that if she would knew all of me, then she would run away." Lucifer chuckled brokenly, tiny droplets of tears forming in the corner of his eyes, "She promised me, she won't run. She told me that she does not see me like that." Lucifer was fiddling with his onyx ring now, his gaze sternly on his hands. Even with all these efforts of making sure Linda wont notice, the therapists didn't fail to observe the quivering of his lips and the bobbing of his adam's apple. "And then, she found out I was a monster. So she ran. Or rather pushed me from her life. She fired me. And then after a month she just.."

"Lucifer.."

"Doctor, she just 'needs' me for a case! Oh, not even me, they actually needed my Aston." He laughed. 

"We may stop here, if you want." Linda said. She was getting the feeling that Lucifer was pushing too hard. He was suffering. He didnt need to do this all at once. She was there with him, always. 

"No... I want to get over with it." Lucifer breathed shakily. His fiddling with the ring had increased. "Dan told me that it was favor I owed them. So i agreed. I dont like to be in someone else's mercy." 

"Favor? You talked about being in favor the previous day as well. Why would you think its a favor? " Linda asked.

"Because I am me!" Lucifer shouted.."I am selfish, I don't care about anyone else, I make inappropriate jokes, harass victims and their families, I am not good in doing the so called 'detective work', and wherever I go, whatever I touch I just ruin! Because I am evil! So working with me, is just a torture Doctor! And Chloe has been tortured for years! Thats why I owe her a favor!" The way his last statement broke, Linda couldn't control the tears from her eyes. Lucifer looked away sheepishly. "Now look, what I've done. I have made you cry as well...I should go."

"No Lucifer! You didn't make me cry. And you are NOT evil. You punish the Evil, Lucifer. And as much as you say that you being you, is a problem, its not true. Your spirit is what fills the room with warmth and positivity." Linda was speaking as his friend now. All the work she had done over the years for Lucifer was now erased. He was back to being the old Lucifer. And they were back to square one. "And whatever was between you and Chloe, she enjoyed and valued your partnership just as much, as you do. You need to believe that." 

Lucifer blinked. His eyes full of disbelief and awe. But he didn't seem convinced. Linda knew he wont be convinced. Eons of neglect and hurt couldn't be resolved with one statement. "She asked me to being her partner again." Lucifer cleared his throat. 

"Do you think she asked you to come back because she thinks your partnership to be a torture?" 

"I...probably no. I dont know, honestly." 

"What did you say? The last time you were here, you said you didnt want to go back to LAPD again."

Lucifer's eyes flickered, and eventually he spoke up, "I suppose I did. I didn't want to go back. But somehow, I couldn't say no to her. So I made her promise. That I will be her partner till I remain here. "

Linda's eyes widened as realization dawned on her, "What do you mean till you remain here?" 

"i..er...You see, I have considered lately of moving to Las Vegas, for the expansion of Lux. " Lucifer said nervously. 

Linda knew about that. Maze has already informed her. "But Chloe doesn't know that." 

"I know. I have no intention of informing her." 

"So are you going to just ghost her?" 

"She wont be bothered by my absence Doctor. On the contrary, she will be relieved. I should get going. " Saying this Lucifer got up from the couch, and headed towards the main door. Just as he was about to leave, he heard Linda shout behind him,

"You know this is not as simple as you think Lucifer. You know we all care for you." Linda shouted. Lucifer gave her a tight smile before closing the door behind her. 

With Lucifer gone, Linda sighed, but only a moment later she was running to the basin, retching early in the morning. She hadn't eaten anything to upset her stomach? Why was she retching? Guess she had to go see a Doctor. 

Lucifer was seated in the Corvette outside Lindas. Their conversation playing in his head, until his phone chimed. 

A text message from the Detective. 

**The Detective, 8:02 am: Lucifer are you okay? I went to the hospital, they said you left. I am worried.**

Again that. The emotion he hated the most - pity. He breathed in a few times before writing his message, **I am fine Detective. Supernatural immunity. Anything you need Detective?**

The reply came almost instantly, **No. Just asking. You will be joining me in the precinct right?**

He typed, **I have some business to attend at Lux. Call me if there is a case. I will be joining you at the scene then. Have a good day Detective.**

He put his phone to silent, before shoving the device into his pocket and started the engine. He was not in a mood to stretch the conversation. And what he wanted was a very stiff drink, but before that he had to clean the mess he had done to his penthouse the other night- that was the business he needed to attend. 

**********

Chloe's stomach churned at his reply. She was at the precinct and was texting Lucifer to join her.For once, she could pretend everything was normal, he could pretend they were fine. But they weren't. Yes, they were back to being partner, but the wall which has been built was impossible to break. She has made the wall. It was her fault. And with every passing day, the wall went on thicker and thicker. They were not okay. And she was not sure they could ever be. 

She could not accept him as who he was, he could not like her anymore and yet they were partners. For some unknown bond, they were still together, after everything. What was even she in his life? He had existed for more than the earth itself, he was ancient, powerful and mighty! And she was just a Chloe Decker, a boring cop and a mother of a ten year old kid. Her entire lifetime was a blink of an eye for him. She feared that after everything, if they didn't click anymore, maybe he would get bored and leave her. Again. She didn't want that though. But why did she even want the Devil in her life? He was not evil, she knew that. But she wanted a safe life, irony huh. A stable partner. Lucifer was not stable, she was just a fling for him, a meaningless fling. Was it worth to give her heart to him? She didn't know. But she wanted him. Why? She didn't know. 

"We got a case Chloe. " Dan strolled up to her desk, looking awfully cheery. 

"Uh-huh" Good, that means Lucifer can join her. 

"John Doe, 25 years. The location is Beverly Hills. Good to go? " Dan asked. 

Chloe nodded. "Uh, Dan... Why are you so cheery today? "

"Because that asshole hasn't shown up. And we are together for the case. " Dan replied smugly. 

So smugly that anger boiled down Chloe's veins. "You do realise, that he is back to being the Civilian consultant, and my partner Dan? " 

Dan's face darkened at it, "So what about you dissolving him as your partner? "

"I thought it would be best if he continue his work here. Speaking of, what did you tell him to convince him for working the case? " Chloe needed to know. Lucifer's Statment still rung in her head, _I owe you this and now we are even.._

"Nothing for you to worry about. " Dan fidgeted with his fingers.. Clearly nervous. 

"No it is. What did you say? "

"I said, that he owes you this much. " Dan's face reddened in anger. 

Of course! Everything clicked in its place. Lucifer thought that case to be a favour! And probably stills thinks that! Oh god! How can Dan be so smug! "What? What do you mean he owes me? Why would he owe me? "

"Wouldn't he? He is a crap Chloe. He hurt everyone he meets, including you. A month ago, you hated him! For gods sake, you even fired him! For everything he does, and we tolerate and he gets away. He at least owe us this! "

"Dan, I don't know what's gotten to you. Ever since Charlotte you have had a target on Lucifer's back, but you need to stop! Come around before it's too late Dan. "

"The way he gets away with everything Chloe, and for me, even my anger is a mistake. Sorry, but I won't bother you or Lucifer anymore. In fact I am happy to stay as far away from that freak anyway. " Dan threw the case file on her desk and walked away. 

Everything has been so complicated! How would she even make things even resembling to normal? And with whatever Dan had told Lucifer, it has broken their trust anyways. 

Baby steps first. She pulled her phone, and dialled Lucifer. With every ring, her heart beat faster and faster. Just as the phone was about to go to voice mail, he picked up, 

" _Detective! Haven't expected you to call so fast. "_

"Yeah.. We.. We have a case. "

_"okay, good. Text me the address and I will be there. "_

"Okay.. And Lucifer.. "

_"Hmm? "_

"Are we.. Are we okay? "

There was a long, very long pause. She almost thought that the call was disconnected, but then, 

_"You tell me Detective, are we okay? "_

Chloe couldn't answer that. They were not okay. She just sighed. 

" _Thought so. I will be there Detective. Goodbye. "_ With it the phone disconnected, so did their friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Linda is retching... And where is Amenadiel? Guess he will come in the next chapter. Pour in your lovely comments. I love to read them. And next chapter probably next week


	9. Can't be mad at you Dummy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, So here i tried to establish both what Chloe and Lucifer were thinking. They both have their own assumptions and insecurities, so nobody is to be blamed.  
> Also thank you so much for all the support you have shown for my family. My father is still critical, but I am hoping everything's gonna be fine.   
> Till then happy reading.

Maze was in a hurry. She dragged her recent bounty and threw him under the stairs in the precinct.

"Woah, who is this? " One of the rookies asked her.. 

"Should I do everything for you? It's a bad guy! Find the rest for yourselves! " Maze growled completely annoyed. 

A part of her was happy, that Lucifer and She were back on track. But she simply couldn't find joy in that. 

That little conversation with Lucifer in the morning was playing in her mind like a broken record. Yes, she asked him to take her home, yes she betrayed him and yes sometimes she can be an angsty hoe to see Lucifer brooding over his daddy issues and self hatred coping mechanisms. But whatever he said the morning, was something to spiral over. The Devil running away? Well, he does run away from the problems, right? He ran away when that bitch of a momma Morningstar told him that his little Detective was a miracle. He rotted in that penthouse for weeks, and now he is off to Vegas. Great! Only if she could accompany him. 

She won't. 

She was not his servant anymore. And now that she has Linda with her, it would be healthier for her to stay in some positivity rather than jumping into the rabbit hole with her ex boss. But of course she will there for him when he needed her. She has sworn to his protection and she would do it. But wallowing into his self-pity, nah, not happpening. Quickly Maze pulled out her phone to send a text to Lucifer, before second thoughts gnaw at her. 

**Maze: Lucifer, you asked me to decide whether to accompany you there or not.**

The reply came within seconds.. 

**_Lucifer: Yes, I did._ **

**Maze: I will not go with you. I will stay at my Home, with Linda.**

_**Lucifer: Oh.** _

_**Lucifer: Whatever you desire...** _

**Maze: Where are you anyways?**

_**Lucifer: The Detective called. I am on my way to the crime scene.** _

**Maze: Oh.. Back to being partner with Decker huh?**

The three little dots appeared, showing he clearly read the message, but then he went offline. Typical Lucifer. At least he didn't send emojis. 

Suddenly a large weight clang to her leg. Maze almost would have shifted to her defence position, but when she saw who was clinging to her, immediately she hugged her back. 

Trixie. 

"Hey Dummy! I missed you! " Trixie said. Still hugging Maze. Maze knelt down in front of her to be of the same height. Ecstasy filling her veins. She looked at those wide, round black eyes.. Oh how she missed her! 

"I missed you to Little kid! And I am really sorry for everything. I never meant those." Maze smiled back. And they pulled into an embrace again. Gosh, She was a demon! Yet seeing this little human made her heart flutter in a good way. What would she have done if Trixie didn't talk to her anymore! 

"I know silly! "

"So you.. You are not mad at me? " It was the second time in a day when Maze used this line. 

"I can't be Mad at you Dummy! I love you! " Trixie gave her famous sunshine smile. And Maze laughed at that. 

What a kid! 

"You know I wanted to meet you and Lucifer so badly! But Mommy won't allow me. She didn't even like talking about you both! What happened to her? Why would she behave like that? " She whined. 

"That's because your mother found out who we are. " 

"That you are a demon and he is the Devil? " Trixie narrowed her eyes.. Maze regarded her for a moment. The kid is smart. 

"Yep."

"So THAT was the problem! She didn't find you cool! "

"Cool? " 

"Well Duh! Not everyday I meet Demons and Devil! When you showed me your demon face, we got so many candies! You even scared off that mean girl! Even Lucifer did that for me when we first met! Anyways, how is Lucifer ? He should miss us too right? " Trixie asked. 

Right lets have a proper conversation. 

Maze stood up and took Trixie by her hand to go and sit on one of the desks, for a proper chat. Chloe left the precinct a few minutes ago. Maze had no idea why Trixie was there, but she was grateful that she was. At least she apologised! And Trixie is not mad at her. Besides, Maze always treated her like a grownup, so there was nothing she would hide to her. After telling everything to Trixie, Maze waited for her reaction. 

Trixie pretended to think and put her finger on her chin, seriously considering everything Maze said to her. "So you are telling me, that Lucifer likes Mommy , but Mommy is scared of you and Lucifer. So she is not allowing both of you in our apartment. And now that Lucifer knows that mommy is scared of him, he is hurt and thinking to move out? And somehow you betrayed Lucifer and hurt him too and so he is not close to you as much as he was before? "

"Pretty much. "

"That's not true Maze! I mean I have seen Mommy! She likes Lucifer as well.. Like seriously likes! "

"Yeah whatever Trix. But she used to. But now she does not. " Maze scoffed. 

"But you were that before as well! The fact that you are a demon or Lucifer is the Devil, does not change who you are, right? That's what I have learnt in the school. "

"Sometimes I wonder, that Decker should be your spawn kid."

Trixie giggled at the statement, clearly proud of herself. "Okay, now what? 

" Now what what? " Maze blinked. 

"Silly, we need to fix this! I mean fix everything between you, Mommy, Lucifer and Dad! He seems down too these days. i do miss Ms Charlotte you know. She was a good girlfriend to Daddy. " The little girl sighed. 

"Aaaannnnddd, how do we do that? Look I am very busy with my bounty. And apart from that I have no interest in being the wingwoman or whatever.. "

"No worries.. We have plenty of time right? I mean you are immortal. "

Maze started laughing. "But your mother is mortal! And no we don't have time.. Because.. Well.. Lucifer might move out soon.. "

"What?! I mean you told me that his moving out would take months! "

"Well look, He can't just move out and wander like a nomad right? So he is signing off the paperwork for Lux expansion by the end of this week. If that's done, he will start packing already. "

"Oh.. " The girl clearly shrunk at the prospect of Lucifer leaving town. After a moment she said in a small voice, "And he will not return? Ever? " 

"No kid. "

"Why?" Trixie's voices was not the smallest.

"Because he is an asshole and a coward." The demon snarled..

But to it Trixie just raised one eyebrow scrutinising her friend..And of course Maze knew what she meant. She just told the little girl everything. "Yeah yeah, even I wanted to return to hell when everything was messed up! I get your point Kid." She snorted. And trix nodded.

"So what are you saying?"

"Well we have to stop him. " Her eyes beamed with determination and hope.. 

* * *

John Doe died pathetically. Ella thought, As she examined the body of their new victim. He lived in Beverly Hills in his apartment on the sixth floor. Cause of death was breaking the window and falling right on a pointed fountain like a seekh kebab. She silently prayed for his soul, now that she knows God does exist, Ella has no qualms in praying. Although, Lucifer would be a bit sceptical knowing her logic. _Miss Lope, I do respect your faith, but there is no way that prickly arse is listening to you anyway._ He would tell. As soon as Lucifer's british accent floated through her mind, the forensic scientist let out a snorty laugh. 

"What are you so cheery about Ella? This guy's death?" Dan strolled up behind her in his grumpy mood...wait he was grumpier than usual days. 

"You know I just remembered something about Lucifer, never mind that. Why are you not cheery?" Ella asked back. But regretted it instantly as Dan's face was scowled in harsher lines. 

"Oh, so everyone is thinking about Lucifer, huh?" 

"Da, it's not like that, okay? He just lifts everyone's mood with his presence." Ella said softly. But it only angered Dan.

"Yes his presence! His reckless behaviour, carelessness, selfishness and what not! That's the deal Ella, everybody is charmed over him. Nobody knows the real him. Nobody understands he is a poison, a bad guy." 

"Dan, he is _not_ a bad guy...He is trying Dan, really." Ella rubbed Dan's forearms gently, silently comforting him. "He is also going through some stuffs you know. He is not good, these days. " 

"He is never good Ella. Whatever..I don't want to talk about him. I am going to talk to the witnesses.." Dan walked off to the nearest circle of people, interrogating them. 

Ella just kept looking at him. She felt sorry for whatever he was going through. Loosing Charlotte messed him bad, and she couldn't help but to pray for him back to her big guy,

_Hey Big guy, Or Lucifer's dad, i just wanted to tell, both Dan and Lucifer are hurting. I hope Charlotte is in a better place. But please do something with Dan. He is screwed big guy. Please do help him. And also..your son. He might be the Devil, but you should care for him too, you know. He is not what you think. Just..forgive him big guy._

She prayed silently. Just then Chloe strolled up. 

"Hey Ella, what have we got?" 

As the bubbly girl described everything about the victim, his cause of death, bruising and markings, and everything, she saw Chloe wandering off frequently, until she just zoned out. And also she was alone. Where was Lucifer? 

"Decker!" Ella snapped her finger in the Detective's face. She nearly flinched. 

"Huh? Umm..sorry, I didn't pay attention." Chloe lamented. 

"Is it about Lucifer? Where is he anyway?" 

"Yes... I...Ella I am trying you know. I am trying hard to make things go the way they were. But after everything, its just...it feels like there is a giant wall between us. He has changed Ella. I mean, he thinks our partnership to be a favour!" Chloe's voice was shaky, as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Throughout the entire ride to the crime scene, she just thought about the conversation with Lucifer, that they were not okay. It was too much. And Chloe's heart bleeds for him. If only things were easy! When Lucifer was shot, she realised that she couldn't lose him. But after that, when she knew about the favour thing, when she saw how distant Lucifer was acting to her, how cold, she went back to square one. Did he hate her? Was she forcing this partnership on him? Did he really not want her anymore in his life? Everything he did, that's what he thought - a favour? Nothing else? Doesn't he understand how important he is for her? Is she _that_ important to him? A whirlpool of questions swirling in her mind. Everything to the fact how he feels about her. No she is not scared of Lucifer. Not now, not ever. She was, yes. But not now. But everything about him, it was so difficult to understand! 

"What favour?" Ella asked, breaking into Chloe's reverie. 

"Dan apparently told Lucifer, that I hated him and whatever I did with him, like our partnership was my favour to him. And now he thinks that he needs to even the favour." Chloe rolled her eyes. How can the two men in her life be this stupid! This dumb! One was mindlessly ass, and another one was incredibly stupid! 

"What! Whoa, that's some shit!"

"uh-huh!" 

"There is more isn't it?" Ella asked..

" Lucifer is acting..cold towards me. Like he doesn't want to talk to me or even see me. "Chloe let out a hollow laugh. "It's like I am the bad guy in every situation! " 

"Look Chloe, whatever it is, it will sort out okay? Just have some faith in him. I know he cares for you. I know you care for him. Just..just talk to him alright? " 

"Yeah okay, but hey, we are at the crime scene. Lets not discuss my personal life here." Chloe said through gritted teeth..

"Hello Ladies!" The voice came from distant, and the two girls saw the tall, dark devil come out of his corvette and walking towards them. 

Damn, he looked good! Too good! Chloe cursed under her breath. He wore a crisp white shirt, and a Blue Armani, his hair though was crispy without the hair product, but was beautifully set. He looked devilishly handsome..pun intended. And for a moment, Chloe thought, that if they would be a couple and this would not be a crime scene, maybe she would pull him into a deep sexy kiss. She shook the thought out of her head, as Lucifer walked. He was standing at a safe distance away from the detective, his posture stiff and of course his usual banter was missing. 

The entire morning passed talking to witnesses. It turned out as one guy used to meet John every day, till his death, in front of his apartment and also he used to keep an eye on the victim, as named as 'Big nose brown shoe' by the painter witness, she also seemed to have drawn the guy. Chloe half expected Lucifer to derail their conversation by asking the painter about nudes or something like that, but he didnt. And honestly, it just increased her worry. Was their partnership really falling apart? 

* * *

In the afternoon, Deckerstar found themselves in a stakeout in the parking lot. Ella ran facial recognition to the guy who stalked the victim and got a hit - A guy named Vincent Walker, ex marine. Since they couldn't get a physical address, it was prudent to follow the car registered in his name. So there they were. Alone and awkward. 

After a few minutes of awkward, uncomfortable silence, Chloe broke the ice. "Lucifer, I am extremely sorry." She pleaded.

Lucifer looked at her with a frown, "Whatever for?" 

_Seriously?!_ Chloe supressed the urge to roll her eyes for his obtuseness, "For everything. For reacting the way I did when I saw your..face, for firing you, for- " 

"Its alright Detective. I am used to these reactions. My Devil face is itself a punishment for anyone who watches it. Everyone runs away." He said casually, but failed to hide the amount of sadness the phrases were formed. 

_And you were no different..just like the others._ Chloe hears him in her mind, loud and clear. Her heart twists painfully. "You know I don't think of you that way." 

Lucifer huffed, successfully avoiding her gaze. "In what way? A good way?" 

"No. I dont think of you as what you claim to be." 

"And what's that?" 

Chloe inhaled sharply, "Dan told me what he said to you. You think you are returning a favour by helping me with this case Lucifer. You think that I need you like a tool."

"Don't you?" The bitterness in his voice was a slap on her face. _How could he think of me like that!_

"NO! Of course not! I don't think of you as tool! You are my partner Lucifer! And our partnership is not any favour! Whatever Dan told you was not true!" Chloe thought of something to make him believe everything she felt about him. But the idiot won't even look at her! Instead he looked away, hiding his face from her.

Silence fell over again. Chloe almost thought that Lucifer has dosed off..

"I missed you, you know." Lucifer whispered, his voice was raspy and hoarse, like he was screaming. 

Chloe couldn't respond. Everything hurt. Their distance, his pain, her lo- ...

Just then the suspect was found to be kidnapping someone..well false kidnapping. And Lucifer and Chloe both questioned the suspect, taking out the details and also getting that Vincent was innocent and that the victim was accusing him for being included with the mob. 

As both of them strolled from the suspect, Chloe said, "Okay so now I have to check whatever and wherever our victim was in the last twenty four hours, and place it with the map and also research about his whereabouts. You know, you can go and rest a bit, I will spend the night in the precinct."

"No no, Detective, I insist you go and sleep, I have had my cat nap in the morning before heading to the precinct. I will burn the midnight lamp in the precinct." Lucifer offered with a smile.

"So you are offering to do hours of tedious research throughout the night?" 

"Mm-hmm..Look Detective, I do take our partnership seriously, favour or not." He gave a ghost of smile to her.

"Thank you so much Lucifer, this means a lot. And our partnership is NOT a favour, or deal. Okay?" 

"...okay.." Lucifer nodded. 

* * *

Something lifted off Chloe's chest. Talking did help. But its just a tiny dent in the thick wall built around them. Lucifer is still not convinced about her. And she..well she doesn't know how Lucifer feels about her. She was stuck in a jam, on her way to home. Dan has offered to pick Trixie up from the precinct, and she would stay the night with him, Lucifer was working in the precinct. So Chloe had the night off, all to herself. Just then her phone chimed, she opened to find a message from Linda, 

**Linda: Chloe, i know there is some tension going on between you and Lucifer. So if you want to talk, i am here. And also I need to address to you certain things.**

**Chloe: Okay then, I have the evening free.**

**Linda: Meet me at mine?**

**Chloe: Sure.**

Maybe Linda can help. Chloe hoped. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trixie and Maze and Linda to the rescue!   
> Also Amenadiel is coming, next chapter.!   
> Next chapter next week.  
> Love love! ;)


	10. You devious little minx..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yep, no spoilers..so end of the story for notes.

Trixie was always smart. Even compared to the girls of her age, she has always been much more perceptive yet flexible. Unlike her mother, she was never stubborn with her beliefs, the reason she accepted Lucifer as the Devil was she saw his red eyes on the very first day. Yet she thought it was pretty cool to befriend the literal Devil. Maze was her best friend and also a demon, which means she would protect her at any cost! But her mother has always clung to her own belief of Lucifer being delusional and speaking in metaphors. The idea itself seemed odd to her, and as the days passed, she slipped that idea out of her mind. Yet she knew Lucifer and her mommy were kind of a ‘thing’ now. Come on! She has seen Hot tub high school at the age of seven! And now she was ten! She ought to know what a ‘thing’ is! There are boys in her school who wants her to be their girlfriend! And honestly, Trixie was beyond happy with the fact that Lucifer would be his step dad.

But then things changed drastically. One morning she saw Maze bashing her in front of her Dad, and then all she knew was her dad hated Lucifer, mommy fired him from work, he didn’t come for game nights anymore and well yes, Charlotte was dead. And the month followed by was miserable. She missed her Maze so much! Mommy seemed too much distant as if she was not her anymore, and suddenly she started being glib with her daughter. Her mommy was unintentionally drifting away from her, and she felt lonely.

Her Dad was in a full mourning mode. When she spent nights with her dad, they mostly munched on a sad flavoured ice cream and watched Titanic, snugged in a purple snuggie, and half an hour later he would go on a pee break and never return until she herself fell asleep.

With everything going on around, nobody cared how the little girl would get affected. She missed her mommy, daddy, Maze and Lucifer. When she asked about either of them, Chloe would distract her or ask her to shut it. And now she understood the reason.

This morning when she finally, _finally,_ met Maze, she came to know about Lucifer’s departure. And with everything in mind, that little girl had a nice mission in her way. Bring everything back to normal.

It was one of the nights when she was about to stay with her dad. Her plan was simple – go and talk to Lucifer! Well not exactly going, but sneaking out, per se. With the knowledge of her dad’s plans she knew exactly what to do. She had already discussed it with Maze this morning. “Are you sure kid?” Maze asked and she confidently nodded a yes.

Sneaking out on Dan, was rather easier than sneaking out on Chloe. Chloe was always on her heels, and her sleep was really shallow – so one little sound and BAM! She was right in her room checking whether her daughter was okay. But with Dan, escaping was a cakewalk. She followed everything that the father-daughter did every day – talk about their usual day to day plans and then have a simple dinner and then go watch Titanic. This day was fast. Her dad was grumpy and only after fifteen minutes, he went on his apparent ‘pee break’ and closed the room door behind. Trixie quickly pulled out her phone and texted Maze,

**Maze, you ready?**

**_Yes Kid!_ **

**Okay, wait for another hour. Making sure he is asleep. Wait by the window by my room.**

Keeping the phone aside, she waited for an hour, and then tiptoed into Dad’s room, finding him asleep, sprawled over his bed, tears all over his face. The little girl sighed, when was this going to end?! She peeped back to the living room, carefully closing the door behind, switching off the television. She popped into her room, unmade her bed, wrapping a blanket over a pillow – a good substitute for a sleeping person, she sneaked out through the window to find Maze standing beside it. She quickly gave a thumbs up and the demon smirked back.

“Taught you well kid!” Maze grinned proudly.

“That you have. Okay, so are we going to Lux now?” Trixie asked.

Both started walking out of their little patio toward Maze’s motorbike, when Maze said, “Nope. I checked Lux, he is not there. He is in the precinct, doing..i don’t know..police work?”

“Oh? That sound’s strange, even for Lucifer..”

“He has been acting strange Trix, for quite a few days now.” Maze shrugged.

They reached their bike, and Trix carefully climbed the backseat and put on her little helmet. Maze has exclusively bought that helmet for her. After a moment’s silence, the little girl spoke, “You know it’s probably cause, he is sad. Mommy says, sadness makes you do things which you won’t do in your normal self.”

“THAT I can relate, Little human.” Maze nodded slightly before climbing the bike and riding it slowly first, to make sure Dan isn’t awakened by its sound and then with a bullet speed.

She was struggling hard to fix things right, everything with Linda was alright, and things with Lucifer was also getting better, and she apologised to Trixie as well. Only Amenadiel and Chloe was left on the list. And suddenly she wasn’t sure whether both of them would even take her as friend. She could only hope. The rest of the journey was silent, one because talking in motorcycles is really difficult and inaudible and two because there was nothing much to say. When the finally arrived at the precinct, Maze shot Trixie a glance before asking,

“Are you sure about this again Kid? He can be stubborn as well.” Maze warned

“Then you don’t me Maze!”Trixie grinned.

Maze snorted amusedly, before taking her in.

\-----------------------------------------

Apparently burning the midnight oil is not as easy as it seemed. It was not the first time Lucifer was skipping sleep. In fact he was known to be a night owl. Having tons of sex throughout the night and then head off to the precinct early morning was kind of his jam. Then again, he has spent a whole week without sleep and was perfect..well survivable. But who knew doing research was a good method sleeping? No less than a torture though. He will remember for sure to use one of these methods to torture in hell. And there was not much time for him left on earth. He was leaving LA soon, and then he doubted Vegas would keep him content even for a month. No harm in trying though. He was tired. Tired of the endless hogging, meaningless orgies and sex and the unfathomable drugs! It was not him anymore. He had stopped sleeping with others since the Detective started dating Pierce. He tried once or twice, but it was so plain, like the water.

Well right now, everything just seemed too plain. Even their partnership. When Chloe assured him that his help was not a favour, it…didn’t lessen the hurt. So what, if it was not favour? So what if the Detective doesn’t see him like a tool? They will never go the way they were before. The Detective won’t look at him without fear, or maybe if he would do one little mistake, she would fire him again. He kept his innuendos, comments to the minimum, and with Chloe on sight he would never do anything out of the line, that would scare her…It seems as if he was purposely denying one half of him. He was the Devil. Devil wasn’t supposed to be all bad! He had a good side and a bad side. Both were complementary. But with Chloe, he should only showcase he good one, he will never slip up, he will not acknowledge his monstrosity. But nonetheless, he _was_ a monster. How could he deny that? Switching up sides, was not easy. But he will try. He will pretend as long as Chloe was with him. But then he will go away, give her life back to her. Or maybe she will send her away again? She would come around and realise the monster he was, and will push him away for good? She was doing that now, but still she was holding on to him, in a way. And that hurt more.

Lucifer shook his head vehemently, as he tried to supress the uneasy feelings! What was wrong with him!? He deliberately took this research work to keep him distracted. Going back to the penthouse, staying alone, these thoughts would come back to him. The constant cacophony of voices shouting to him, _You are evil! You are unworthy! You deserve no love!_ … He had to get away from those voices. The interrogation room where he was sat, was eerily silent. What time was it? He glance at his phone to check – 9:41 pm. Pretty late for work and most probably majority of the officers have gone home.

He stepped up and down the room, stretching his stiff back and purring like a cat. Then he straightened his wrinkled Armani, looking at his reflection at the interrogation glass. He flinched, as he imagined the red, charred, face staring back at him. Eons and eons later, and he still couldn’t accept his face… He squirmed as life long memories flooded back to his mind…

_His wings were severely broken, the feathers tore and gone from the innumerable whips drawn on them, the glow from the Lightbringer long gone, leaving dull and bloodied mass of whites behind. The tips of the primal feathers butchered, and a long, nasty scar adorned his torso. He was bound with chains, naked and shamelessly exposed in front of his siblings. Thousand pairs of eyes staring at him with disgust and hatred… Samael just led a rebellion against the Almighty God! His act was unforgivable. For days, he was kept in the dark, his light sucked up from his body. The effect was disastrous though – all his light leaving his body, made him weakest. Weak enough not to even lift his head. And the dark around him, was…was suffocating. It was scary. His body ached with wounds and stabs. All the other siblings were cured, Raphael healed them. He was the only one, not even touched. He shouted, cried and begged for mercy. He prayed to Dad..”Father, all I wanted was to pursue free will! Was that so bad? Am I not worth it Dad? Can’t you give me one chance?...Please Dad…P-please..” He cried out, curling himself into a ball, but he got back only one answer – silence. The over aching silence._

_And then after a century, he was pulled and dragged over by his favourite twin – Michael. The first light of the heaven accosted his eyes, mostly burning the irises, blinding him. But it was still a relief, at least to feel the sensation of light. In century, he let himself grow at least a flicker of hope – maybe, maybe Dad has forgiven him? Maybe he was given a chance to redeem himself? Otherwise why would they pull him out of his dark cell?_

_The answer was fast. Without his light, he was as good as a newborn baby. He was hunched on his knees in the center of the court room. Michael and Gabriel stripped him in front of his siblings. The hungry pairs of eyes staring right at him, never felt more shaming. And then they tied Samael with chains. Azikiel brought out a thorny whip and handed it to Gabriel, Michael pulled his sword. Samael watched in horror, the extremities bestowed on him._

_“Two whips for every corrupted souls, and five whips for every injured ones, and seven whips for every departed.” Gabriel shouted the sentence. Samael was now shivering, struggling to break the chains._

_It was better to obliterate him, rather than the excruciating pain. His wings were his pride and now with millions of whipping on them, he would never be able to fly or use them again…His limb will be paralysed. His voice was gone, as he trembled vehemently he felt the lashes on his wings, sending jolts of current and pain through his body, his mind spinning and his head throbbed, waiting to be exploded._

_“With every movement, Michael shall slash some flesh from the offender’s body.” Gabriel shouted again without any emotions attached to it. Was he just an offender? Was he not their brother? Was Gabriel not his younger brother who HE taught to fly, to giggle, to walk? And Michael? Was he not his twin? Did he not feel anything for his brother? Just a mindless soldier of dear Dad?_

_Michael drew the sword, resting it just beneath Samael’s chin, drawing out blood and adorning the chin with a gash. Samael looked up to him, just a glance – a shadow of sadness spread across his face, but nicely covered with a façade of neutrality. Mindless soldier it is._

_The offender sighed, and for the next year, what followed was true torment. Torture beyond pain, beyond screams and beyond tears. He was broken. When the countless whips and slashes ended, Samael lay on the floor, seizing, covered in blood – tired and beyond repair. But still he hoped. Maybe his sentence was over? Maybe he was finally forgiven? Was he? He allowed hope and happiness to be swelled up deep down in his mind._

_But the next moment, it was snatch away from him ._

_Eriel strolled up, with a neutral grin on his face, “The next part of the sentence, to be carried out shortly..”_

_The hope which he allowed himself to be filled with, was instantly crashed, a loud ringing sound in his ears. He lay there immobile, unable to see, unable to hear. And when he thought his ears perceiving sounds again, he heard,_

_“….to be banished to hell for all eternity amongst the dead and damned.”_

_His mind went numb. The next thing he knew was, he was falling. He was falling and falling. His wings were of no use. He felt his sibling looking at his fall apathetically, he just fell. The sensation, the fear was endless. He had no measure of the time. How long was it? A century? An eternity? A millennia? He didn’t know. He just fell, until he felt the heat approaching. The fires of hell, beckoning to him. He felt like a monster! A true beast! And then he was burning. It was painful! It was too painful!_

_He screamed!_

_He begged!_

_He cried.._

_It was torture._

_His skin charred, burnt and melted into nothing, exposing the raw redness of his flesh, the scars of the war adorning into black crumpled lines in his body, and the burnt irises turned to fire itself, melting the pupil._

_He landed with a loud thud!_

_And after what seemed like ages, he finally opened his eyes. His red flasing eyes. He has changed. Hell was hot, but more like closed up, gloomy, lifeless. With every breath he could feel the ash and sulphur. He rose, looking at himself through the reflected black labyrinth. He looked like a beast. It will take him quite a while to heal._

_“Samael? You are Samael aren’t you?” A voice echoed in the hallway..Samael turned around with a scoff.She saw a brunette woman standing in front of him, smiling._

_“How did you recognise me, Lilith? And what are you doing here? “ His voice was raspy, and well..burnt._

_“I may never make out from you looks, but I sensed your aura, dear. “ Lilith said. “I am allowed to travel through realms Samael. I am here for my children. My army of children.”_

_He snorted, “Samael means poison of god. I don’t want to do anything with him now. I will give my own name…” He considered every name for a moment, rolling his tongue, testing them. Moments later, he settled on one, with a self-satisfied grin he finally said, “Call me Lucifer Morningstar..”_

_“Lucifer Morningstar…”Lilith savoured the name in her tongue “The Devil..”_

_“The Devil..”_

“Lucifer!”

Suddenly he was pulled out from his reverie. He blinked. Right, he was in the interrogation room, doing research for poor John Gary Doe. He turned his face towards a standing Mazikeen. Why was she here? And she was panicked?

“Lucifer your face! Trix is just outside!” Maze shouted in whisper. Lucifer glanced at his reflection once to see the red Devil face. When had he changed? Maybe while remembering things. Within a blink, he changed back to his angelic form.

“Right, come here Trix..” Maze called out. And to his dismay, the tiny human scurried into the room, until she was standing very close in front of Lucifer. Internally he sighed, right no hugs. She was a grown girl now. Not a kid . But hello? Personal space? Ever heard of it? Lucifer nervously shifted back.

“Spawn? What on earth are you doing here?” He asked..

\----------------------------

“What?! No..No…no no no..no see..that’s..that’s impossible!” Linda gasped, as she tried to process whatever information the doctor on the other line was going on babbling.

She was just retching in the morning..Never in her life did she ever think that it would turn out as morning sickness! And she can’t be pregnant! Was it even possible for an angel to even impregnate a human? Speaking of…Where the fuck was this child’s father?!!

It was just the noon, when she dialled Chloe to come over for evening snack, and then for some reason she still didn’t show up. IT was an hour past dinner, and she was still alone. When the phone rang, she expected it to be Chloe, but no. It was the doctor who she has gone for check up. And apparently tests came out to be positive. And now she was freaking out..She had to contact Amenadiel..But how would she? From whatever little knowledge she has, Amenadiel has flew back to the heaven. And it’s not like Angels need cellphones in heaven to communicate..How would she even bring him back?

Linda was pacing up and down, full on panick mode, when the door bell rang. It startled her, nearly make her jump.

“Okay, calm down Linda. You are a therapist.You can’t be jumpy now.” Linda steadied herself before opening the door. It was Chloe.

“Hi..you are late..” Linda tried to say cheerfully, keeping the panic aside.

“I know, I am sorry. Actually I didn’t realise when I drifted of to sleep, and these days are rough..Sorry..” Chloe nodded apologetically.

“No problem. Come inside.”

When they were seated comfortably inside with two mugs of hot chocolate, Linda was the one who spoke first,

“So, first tell me, how are you holding up?”

Chloe exhaled tiredly, “Honestly, not good. Things have been…pretty crazy these days. I mean, I got to know certain things about Lucifer..” She swallowed, unsure of where to take the conversation. Did Linda know about Lucifer? Did he show her?

“You mean his being the devil?” Linda probed.

Oh.

She knew.

“Y-yes..I mean it’s not…easy. I am trying to cope up with these things. I just..i just feel so lost..” Chloe sipped on her hot chocolate..

“I know, its just so incredibly hard to keep up. Trust me Chloe, whatever you are going through its not easy..”

Chloe considered her words for a moment, “Aee, I wish I knew you knew, I could just talk to you! Its so difficult to keep everything to yourself! So have you known all this time?”

“Not from the beginning, but yes for quite some time.”  
“Have you..have you seen his face –“

“It was..alarming. But you need to understand that he is still him. The same, old, Lucifer.”

To this Chloe sighed..”I don’t know that.”

“Chloe-“

“I mean he is acting different..He is acting so cold and distant to me. Does he hate me?” Chloe asked, “ I am terribly sorry, for my reaction to his face. I fired him for a month and then just summon him suddenly for a case, and now he thinks everything is just a favour…I don’t know what to do !”

“Chloe, I can’t divulge any patient information, but I can tell you that he doesn’t and never will hate you. He is shelling up his emotions again. It’s kind of his own coping mechanism. And this time, it might be unhealthy for him too..He is…considering certain things that he shouldn’t.” Linda sighed.

“I really did hurt him, didn’t i?” Chloe asked, teary and her voice small..

“There is nothing wrong in how you acted Chloe. It was what expected from any human. Even I went spiral for two weeks…”

“That’s the point Linda! You could deal with everything in only two weeks! And now its been a month, and I was still coping..I am still coping…And our friendship is falling because of this..”

“Everybody has their own time period to deal with trauma Chloe. It’s human brain. I am trained to handle to traumatic situations well. You can’t tell, I am panicking now..” Linda let out a huffed laugh..

  
“Even I was trained, I am a cop- wait..Why are you panicking now?”

“Huh, apparently The Devil is my patient, a Demon is my best friend and I am carrying an ANGEL BABY..hah!”

Chloe chuckled,”Yeah right….WAIT WHAT? YOU ARE PREGNANT!”

Linda laughed nervously, and then suddenly started pacing,”Truth to be told, I am freaking out Chloe! I mean I am pregnant to an angel baby! And the father is now frolicking in heaven! No body knows how to contact Amenadiel!..”

“Linda, Linda, calm down okay..If it’s anything, only you can handle these situations. You are much stronger than I am.” Chloe assured..

Taking a deep breath, Linda assured, “You are right Chloe. If I really think about it, I think I am looking forward to motherhood. And it comes the same to you, you know.”

“What?”

“Whatever has happened till now, its bad. But with bad, comes good as well. And regarding Lucifer, it all just comes to one question. Whether you want him in your life or not? “

Chloe thought about it for a moment, before a small smile appeared on her face, “ I think I do. “

“Then prove it to him. Show it to him. Because you know how dense he is.”

To this both the lady laughed heartily..

\---------------------------------------------

“Well, what on earth are you doing here spawn?” Lucifer asked again, as he eyed the little girl, looking at him like a kicked lost puppy. He pouted for a while in confusion, and then his panic started. Trixie’s eyes were watering up..

“No, w-why , there is no need to cry offspring, i-i..” He stuttered, desperately looking around the room for help to calm the spawn..

“You want me to stop crying?” Trixie said..

“Of course, your mother will kill me if she knows I made you cry..” Lucifer was terrified. And also he couldn’t see her favourite little human crying..he won’t admit that.

“Then tell me, why are you leaving LA?” her voice was sad, and Lucifer sprang his head to Maze across the room, glancing her a look..

“Well, I guess, it would be better if I stay out of all your lives..”

“You silly!”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Why would you think, staying out of our lives would be better! I was miserable without you this one month!” Trixie was practically shouting.

Lucifer flinched. Why would a child care for him? Her mother disliked him, why would she be miserable without him? Of course that’s got to be a lie..

“Why would you be miserable without me? “ He stressed on the word ‘miserable’ fancily.

“Well because we love you, duh!”

Lucifer’s heart filled with a strange amount of apricity, but then a coldness left him to shiver. He was the Devil . He doesn’t deserve love. If Trixie loved him, she would get harmed. He wouldn’t allow that. The hurricane of emotions swirling in his mind. He closed his eyes, for a moment to gain some composure, before finally speaking.

“Spawn, you should go back to your house. Your mother will be worried.”

Trixie’s eyes again filled with water, and she shrunk as if she received some physical blows. Lucifer panicked again, “Uh-uh..bloody hell..I-i- Am sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry..Beatrice?”

“You want me to stop crying?” Trixie spoke again shakily..

“Yes surely, as I said before..”

She sniffed twice, “Then I want something.”

Lucifer relaxed, if it was material want, he can fulfil it..”Sure spawn, anything. I can bring you chocolate cake, another doll or a car perhaps-“

“I want a deal..”

_Oh…._

“Dealing with the Devil is not good spawn..”

Trixie threw her best puppy eyes to him, “You know we already had a deal. When I acted to be your child and went to that private school. You never delivered your bargain.”

Lucifer remembered, “Ah, that..If that’s what you want, then I can give car lessons, but it has to be discreet..”

“I don’t want car lessons anymore..”

“Well, then spit it out. What do you desire?”  
The question was simple, not his mojo.

“I want you to wait for another month before signing your whatever paperwork for leaving the town..”

Lucifer didn’t expect that. He was considering her wants, clearly not convinced..

“Please Lucifer..Just one month..”

After a moment, he sighed, finally giving in..”Huh..One month only, spawn. Although I don’t understand why you are doing this. But okay, we have a deal.”

“Yes!” Suddenly Trixie’s face cleared from any remnants of tears and she beamed with smile.

“OOH, pretence huh! You devious little minx.” Lucifer teased.

“That I am..” Trixie chuckled..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay firstly, I don't like how overly childish Trixie is shown in majority of the fanfics..Likes, she is 10!   
> So I bring you a matured little Trix. Promise you, its not out of the character.  
> Second, I thought of introducing Amenadiel in this chapter, but then it was becoming lengthy and boring and me being lazy, no amenadiel in this chapter.   
> Thirdly, tell me how you like this chapter..dealt with Lucifer's past for the first time. Pour in your lovely comments guys. I thrive on those.  
> Fourthly, next chapter next week.  
> Love, love.<3


	11. Wrecking Ball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so my parents are doing fine, they have been discharged from the hospital this week. So it was pretty busy for me and my sister. Hence late update.
> 
> Hey but,  
> Amenadiel in this chapter! Enjoy..

When the hard ground touched his feet, gaining his balance, Amenadiel furled his wings behind his shoulders. He just landed on the balcony of Lucifer’s penthouse, the city lights of the night illuminating the otherwise dark balcony. He probably needed a shower. Not that he was dirty , he was the cleanest possible, in his favourite robe and very happily spent the last one week in his home, the Silver City. The heaven. Time goes faster in heaven, so it was much longer on earth. How long was it?

After seeing dear Charlotte off, he spent some time with his siblings. He missed them so much! The clouds, the whiteness, the serenity – these were what the Silver city consisted. It was peaceful. And Amenadiel spent his time in peace up there. But…something was amiss. He missed peace, but up there he was missing the warmth. The human warmth, their love, their excitement and smiles and everything! For the first time in millennia, he missed earth. As happy he was, wandering the silver pavements with his siblings, reading the enochian books, flying around, stretching its wings, doing everything one can do in that paradise, - it never felt ‘home’. He was desiring this for a long time, since his fall – to go back to the Silver City, but now, he just felt like a guest there, coming for a vacation. NO. Lucifer was right. Earth was amazing! People here are amazing! And this..this felt home.

Taking a long, relaxing breath, Amenadiel strolled into the penthouse, with a smile pinned on his face.

“Luci, you here?” He shouted, and the reply was his echo back in the penthouse. The penthouse was empty, probably Lucifer was on his job, with Chloe. He was rather busy, it seems. With a small sigh at the disappointment in not seeing his brother first, he walked to the bathroom. It was _huge!_ Of course it was huge! It was lucifer’s washroom!

Putting his robe aside, he walked into the shower, setting the water to a warm setting, he let his body, relax under the dripping water. Now that felt _heavenly!_ How can the angels never think of having a warm shower up there? It was so relaxing!

After 15 minutes of a long, long shower, he finally let himself leave the bathroom, rolling the softest towel around his waist loosely, he strolled up to the walk in closet of his brother. He couldn’t go out in that robe. He needed a change of dress. There were like 1500s of suits in his closets! Maybe even more shirts! Who arranges the closet according to shades of colour!? From the lightest shade of white, to the darkest shade of black, everything was arranged in line. Below the hangers, where the garments bags hung, were a traffic jam of pocket squares, all aligned perfectly to each other. And on the lowest rack remains the line of shoes and socks, colour sorted and matched with every pair of socks. Amenadiel rolled his eyes and deep laughter rolling behind his throat.

“Ofcourse, typical Luci.” He shook his head in amusement. “Where are his casuals?!” 

After a few minutes of exploring, the angel finally found a wall cupboard…inside the closet? With Casuals. Very very high quality casuals – leather jackets, woollen business casuals, his night wears, silk robes, boxers, and silk and cotton slippers, and the softest jeans. He took a moment to imagine Lucifer in a casual coffee coloured jeans and white business casual and messy spiked hair..He looked too good, yet somehow out of character. Shaking his head out of the thought, Amenadiel took out a red jacket, a black t-shirt and a random jeans.

Getting ready, he had his first destination in mind – Linda.

The ride to her office was in vain, Amenadiel didn’t find her. So he took off for her house. He knocked the door gently and waited. After a few minutes, the door opened. Linda stood in front of him. Father! She was beautiful. She was in her pajamas with unkempt hair, but she was gorgeous.

“Amenadiel!” A bright smile appeared on her face as she quickly moved forwards to hug the angel in front of her.

“Hey, Linda. How are you? How long has it been here?” Amenadiel returned the hug and entered.

“Its like one and a half months here since you were gone. How long was it up there?”

“It was a week. I left Charlotte, then met my siblings…” Amenadiel said cheerily, but then a look of confusion crossed his face and Linda knew it was her cue.

“But?” She probed.

Amenadiel glanced at her softly, and then sat down on the couch wearily,   
“It didn’t feel home.”

“I understand Amenadiel. “ Linda walked and sat right beside him, circling her fingers around his forearms. “You missed us. Maybe your time here, has made you feel like home _here_. This is your home, Amenadiel. “

Amenadiel looked at her in awe. This woman! She can solve the complexities of mind in one snap! She looks everyone right through, listen to everyone, yet never expects anything. His smile to her was soft, loving. She was special. She may not be a miracle like Chloe, but she was special to him. Linda, who made the Devil grow, who made him love humanity and now she was staring at him with the same love, intensity and…uncertainty?

Linda swallowed, clearing her throat, “There is something, I need to tell you Amenadiel. “

“What’s wrong Linda?” He frowned

“I am pregnant. With your child.” She said, partially nervous and partially excited.

The amount of warmth the spread in his veins and body was unexplainable. He was going to be a father! He huffed in awe, excitement and happiness..He pulled in Linda into a hug.

“I am going to be a father!” Amenadiel laughed and smiled and panted and then like a bucket of cold water that dropped onto him, the realization dawned onto him.. The smile wavered in his face, and terror took its place. ‘Wait..I AM GOING TO BE A FATHER!?”

It seemed that Linda was waiting exactly for this moment. With a light chuckle she rubbed his back, comfortingly. “ It’s okay Amenadiel, I know it’s a lot to process. But we are going to figure it our right? Together? Everything’s gonna be fine Amenadiel..” 

“I..I don’t know how to…be a father.” He said shakily.

“You will be an amazing father!”

“How do you know?”

“I know.”

“Linda?”  
“Hmm?”  
“How did I..I mean how did you..?”

“Become pregnant?” Linda finished the statement.

“Don’t get me wrong, but I am an angel and you are human, we both are different species..”

Linda gave the statement a thought, before turning her face to answer him, “Maybe when you became mortal , you became much more human than you thought.”

Amenadiel considered it, “Well…that’s seems plausible, yes. Maybe.”

“That doesn’t matter, what matters is our baby..” Linda took his hand and placed it on her belly, “is coming soon.” She squealed. The Angel smiled the brightest and happiest of his smile. His offspring!

“We will manage, won’t we? “ He asked

“We will.” Linda smiled.

________________________________________________________________

It was long day. The case had taken a new turn. According to Lucifer’s research yesternight, Gary was a member of the nudist colony and of course they had to go there for information, Ella too accompanied them. And then was the problem. To enter the colony, get nude. Chloe wanted to enter with a warrant, but as soon as she turned – TADAA! Both Lucifer and Ella were nude, standing right in front of them.

“Lucifer! This is inappropriate!” Chloe warned him, but he stood there with the devilish grin, just like the first time he stripped in front of her. And for once, it felt like everything was back to normal between them, her cheeks flushed as she imagined how it would be to touch him, to make him come…Of course, she didn’t have the right to imagine that…yet. Ella stood beside him, staring at his abs and chiselled muscles in awe and…lust?

“Wooo Lu! Devil’s done body huh?! “ She chirpily elbowed him and his grin become even wider.

“What can I say Miss Lopez, it’s natural!” He grinned happily and then turned to Chloe. “Don’t worry Detective, Miss Lopez and I are on this case.”

After that, they went inside and after their shenanigans, and after Chloe got the warrant, they held one Julian Mccaffrey in interrogation. Apparently, Julian had a fight with the deceased, and his clothes were on the victim. Unfortunately, he was bailed by his all powerful dad, Jacob Tiernan and they hit a dead end again.

Afterwards when Chloe and Dan went through the case again for any clue, Lucifer walked to her desk, all proud and said “I caught a break. Apparently while I kept my clothes in the counter of the colony, someone must have slipped this tiny piece of paper in my trouser. It says Marigold. “

“Oh come on! It must be from one of your orgies!” Dan threw the words much more harshly to him than necessary. But Lucifer didn’t flinch, he shouted back,

“As if you would know anything about Sex parties Detective Douche? “

And the fight would go on, only if Ella wouldn’t interrupt. “ Guys Lucifer is right! Mariegold is a ship’s name owned by the Jacob Tiernan and it is sailing tonight. That can’t be a coincidence!”

“On your face douche.” Lucifer replied to a shrunk Dan.

So now, they were on a stakeout in the dock, monitoring the ship decked in the harbour. It was silent, only the whooshing of the cool breeze interrupting the silence. Neither Lucifer nor Chloe had said a thing in the last one hour. Can anything go wrong in their partnership more than this?

“You know we couldn’t have done this without you. So thank you Lucifer.” She sounder more formal than she wanted to. How could she even break the ice?! Earlier Lucifer would always talk! And now as if the switch has turned off!

“No need to be formal Detective. We were partners before as well, remember?” He smiled softly to her. Now who was being formal?

“Yeah, its not like our partnership is the same now..” She blurted even without thinking. _Shit, shit, shit! Stop talking will you!_ Chloe cursed herself for this. She just hoped Lucifer didn’t misinterpret it. Seeing the pain on his face proved her wrong.

Lucifer shrunk at her words, a hurt crossed his face but almost immediately he put his armor back, maintaining a neutral expression. Clearing his throat, “ Yes, I suppose you are right.” The hard lines on his face was evidently screaming his hurt, so he turned his face away instead.

“Lucifer, you know that’s not I meant.”

No reply. He kept staring outside with an unreadable expression. Chloe sighed. She regretted starting a conversation. Yesterday with Linda, everything seemed so easy – just say to him that you want him in your life. But now, with him, everything was so complicated! – broken love, tattered friendship, like familiar strangers. Linda’s words were a comfort to her, knowing he still cares for her. She was his therapist, who apparently knew everything about him, being the Devil and yet was so cool with it! And she, it was her foolishness that drove him away from her, made an invisible wall.

She needed to change the topic, “ So, umm, all these work we do…like catching the criminals, you send them to hell right?”

After a beat of silence, he scoffed, staring right in front, and not on her, “I don’t have anything to do with sending them to hell.”

“But you are like the King of hell…then why-“

“Retired king of hell. And no, neither me nor any other angels or even Dad take part In sending them to hell or heaven. It’s all on you humans. If you are weighed with guilt, then you go to hell, reliving the moment of guilt over and over again in your hell loop. And if you are not guilty, you go to heaven.” He explained.

“But that can’t be right!” Chloe protested, earning a glance from her partner, “If a criminal, who killed like seven people or more, is not guilty, he will go to heaven?”

“It’s a faulty system, I know. But I don’t have anything to say on it. Besides, it’s really difficult not to have any guilt throughout your life. I have seen many good souls trapped in hell just for their guilt of maybe kicking a puppy..” His eyes were distant now, face hardened. Clearly it was not a topic he wanted to talk about, but Chloe was curious and they had to kill time.

“And so the souls, you torture them…do you like…enjoy it?” She asked hesitantly, rechecking the information she read in one of the journals about the devil.

And this time Lucifer looked at her, directly in her eyes. And something about his expression churned the insides of her, in shame and fear. Shame for even thinking about him like that, and fear for what he might react.

“It was a job, Detective. Something I was forced to do. I never ‘enjoyed’ torturing. And I never devour your souls into sin.” He stated as a matter of fact. Maybe he saw something in her eyes, maybe uncertainty, which made him say his next words, “You might now think that I am the Prince of Lies, or a manipulator. But I am telling you again, Detective. I do not lie. I am the truth bringer. Now believe whatever you may.” He turned his face away again.

Chloe wanted to say something but only then, they were interrupted by the view in front of them. Julian making women to transfer into the ship – human trafficking !

“Julian was using his father’s ship for trading women. Maybe Gary came to know about it and then threatened him and so Julian killed Gary.” Chloe said instead.

“He will regret this.” Lucifer replied.

And both of them jumped out of their car, following the women. Chloe yelled, ‘Freeze,LAPD!’ and then started the line of fire…

Chloe controlled the front, while Lucifer followed a fleeing Julian into the warehouse..

Lucifer took long strolls in order to catch the bastard fleeing, his steps were predatory and he clung to the shadows. Once his pace was slowed down into the warehouse, Lucifer took the chance, and grabbed Julian by his neck..

“Step away you freak!” Julian struggled in his grasp, but Lucifer tightened his grip even more, raising him lightly above the ground..

“Why are you doing this Julian?” His voice was dangerously calm, yet can send a shiver down anyone’s spine. “ Will your father be proud of you now?” He slightly cocked, waiting for an answer.

“Atleast I don’t pretend to be good! But my father, he is a wolf in the sheep’s skin.. He knows everything about this, yet bailed me out! He is like the Devil, pretending to be good but he is not!”

Lucifer could now feel his temper running and reaching its saturation point, “Oh I am showing you real devil..” With this his face burned to the red charred, devil face, only for a minute. But that was enough for him to spiral him out of control.

“What- what are you?” He struggled even more, and shouting nervously.

“I just told you Julian, I am the Devil.”

“No, no no no sorry, I wont do It again, please..” Julian begged, crying..

And then, “LAPD!” a rookie, Joan, shouted behind them. Lucifer got distracted and Julian took the chance to fire his gun towards the poor girl.

“NO!” Lucifer shouted as she saw Joan crumple to the ground in her own pool of blood. By then Chloe and Dan reached the warehouse. Suddenly Julian pushed a lever beside them, a dozens and dozens of barrels tied from the ceiling fell on them. Lucifer was pressed again six heay barrels on the ground, his ribs were pretty sure bruised, if not broken and with a snap in his shoulder and the jolting pain, he realised his right shoulder getting dislocated while Julian was lost among some other barrels.

“bloody hell!” He muttered under his breath as he struggled to lift the barrels to the side with his uninjured hand. His head going dizzy, and the fuzziness in his vision spreading. His head throbbed while he felt the cool liquid gashing down his forehead – bloody hell, blood! He managed to stand up among the barrels. But his legs buckled and soon he was falling. He prepared himself to hit the ground. But he never. He felt a soft hand snaking around his side, pulling his weight, some blonde woman by his side and providing him support to stand.

Chloe.

“Lucifer, I got you.”

“I can see Detective.” He spoke, partially impressed by her speed. She always helped the others, even if it was the Devil. She was too polite. “Thank you.” He whispered, and Chloe hardly caught it.

“LUCIFER!” Chloe shouted as she saw the grip of the ceiling loosen, and the barrels raining down on Lucifer and the trapped killer. They fell down, barrels dropping on top of them, probably squashing them. Her heart leapt to her throat as everything went still for a moment. None of them moved under the containers and Chloe’s fears gripped her, until some of the barrel were pushed aside and Lucifer staggered to his feet. He looked terrible with the cut on his forehead, blood gashing down his temple, then cheeks and dripping to the ground, his right hand was limp and in an awkward position. Lucifer managed to stand upright but his legs were weak, and immediately Chloe was beside him. Whereas, Dan rushed to the dead Joan’s side cursing something under his breath. Chloe didn’t delay calling 911 as fast as possible.

After half an hour, the paramedics arrived, taking a quiet Lucifer to the back of the ambulance. Chloe stayed away as far as possible, clearing the scene and Joan’s body. Joan was a good friend of hers and her loss was something Chloe mourned. And right now, Lucifer was tremendously stressed out, maybe he blamed himself for Joan’s death and giving him space right now was prudent. Yet somehow Chloe blamed herself for this. She was the one who asked Joan to check on Lucifer and Julian and of course Julian would grab the distraction as his benefit. It was good that he suffered a broken back now and was taken to the hospital. Only then she spotted Dan rushing towards the Ambos where Lucifer was being splinted and his head and ribs injury was being treated.

Daniel was furious. Another murder. He couldn’t take it in anymore. He had only one person to blame. Lucifer Morningstar. He might get injured, but why did he let that bastard kill Joan?! He strode to his ambo where Lucifer slouched quietly, clearly exhausted.

When he spotted Dan he straightened. With a guarded expression Lucifer said, “Daniel?”  


“You know what? Screw you Lucifer! How could you let Julian fire the gun?! Now Joan is gone! For you!” Dan shouted, despite of the Paramedic’s warning of leaving the patient alone.

Something twisted in his heart, as he heard Dan. He _was_ responsible, wasn’t he? It was _always_ his fault. And the hurt, pain and anger came dredging to the surface. He wanted to shout, he wanted to punish, to run away..But no he had a deal with the offspring. One more month. And then everybody’s lives would be spared. The poison he has managed to spread in them with his existence alone, will recede once he gets out of their lives. Just a month for tolerating himself. “For once I agree with you Daniel.” He rasped.

“You think you are helping Lucifer. But you are not. You just seem to destroy everything! You are a wrecking ball Lucifer.”

Lucifer closed his eyes to stop the whirlpool of emotions swirling inside his mind like a tornado. Yes, it seemed that he did destroy everything, his partnership with Chloe, his relationships, Joan’s life, everything! He didn’t deserve happiness. He should leave.

“You know what, you should have been in the end point of that gun. You should have been the one who should die instead of Joan or Charlotte. At least your death will be beneficial to everyone.” Dan walked off to the distance, leaving a bewildered Lucifer behind.

_The Devil pretends to be good, but he is not.._

_You destroy everything._

_You are a wrecking ball.._

_Your death would be beneficial to everybody.._

_He should die, shouldn’t he?_

______________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The famous 'Orgy pants to work' case was finished here.   
> I hate Dan here for hurting my baby, but its a necessary evil for angst right?   
> And also my other work Too Evil to be loved, is in progress - just wrote 8k words, more 4k to go.   
> Also pour in your lovely comments here, i am thriving to see them all.  
> Love, love. <3 <3


	12. Nobody remains the same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, its a Lucy- Amenadiel chapter! Enjoy!

The return from the crime scene was much more excruciating than both of them thought. Lucifer was eerily quiet in his passenger seat, most of the time he was stiff, looking out of the window, except the frequent glances at the Detective. She had both of her hands pinned to the steering wheel, pressed so hard that her knuckles drained any usual colour from it. She restrained herself from looking at Lucifer. She couldn’t. The radio was off. And silence stretched like elastic. It was one of the rarest time that Lucifer wished to read people’s mind. He wanted to know what was she thinking. Maybe something, that didn’t even make her look towards him. Maybe something repulsie about him. Maybe she blamed him from Joan’s death. Well, there is no maybe in that. She did blame him for Joan’s death. Like Daniel, like all the others. He knew the next day he had the face the wrath of poor Joan’s family. He was used to all the blame. Humanity has been blaming him since the beginning of time. But not like this, not this close. And not this personally and definitely not be the people who mattered to him. The will to run out of the car, and to never look back at the Detective’s blaming and disappointing eyes was stifling him. The air in the car suddenly seemed suffocating. He pulled out his arms to draw the window down, but aborted midway, wincing in pain for his dislocated shoulders. Even then, Chloe didn’t look at him, neither asked whether he was okay. Why did he expect any reaction of the Detective to his pain? Why should he react?

He was the Devil. He could handle pain. And the Detective shouldn’t bother. But still, disappointment lashed at him like a whip. He wanted it to stop. To make the voices stop.

It was Uriel’s voice. His dear brother Uriel’s voice. “ _She hates you brother. Why wouldn’t she? You are a murderer, you killed your own brother, you killed her fiancé, you killed her friend! Who next? Will you kill Daniel? Her ex husband? Or even better will you kill Beatrice? Her only daughter and happiness? Or will you kill Ella Lopez her best friend? OR maybe much more…Linda? Or all of them?”_

 _“STOP! Please stop brother!”_ Lucifer thought desperately, his head going to explode, for moments he was sinking, he was drowning. Drowning into his own darkness and it seemed to have affected everyone else around him. _“I didn’t mean to harm anybody! I..I didn’t want any of this!”_ He repeated into his head, like a mantra. Yet, Uriel’s voice cut him off.

_“Yet, you are here brother. Look around. Look around yourself. You don’t have anybody near you. Everyone is afraid, everyone hates you. And deep down you know for yourself, that you deserve this.”_

_“I…I deserve this?...Why? Why do I deserve this? Just because I am the Devil?”_ Lucifer thought. He needs air. He needs to breathe.

_“No. Not because you are the Devil, brother. Because destruction is in your nature. You were created to destroy, to ruin, to create chaos. And that’s what makes you the Devil, not the other way round. And that’s why you don’t deserve love.”_

_“But…I I want love, I want people around me..”_ Lucifer thudded his head back along the headrest, closing his eyes shut. He wanted it to stop. His shoulders were throbbing painfully and his head was heavy with the injury. Being around Chloe also increased his pain.

_“Now, THAT, isn’t that selfish brother? Aren’t you selfish brother? You want people around you, even though you know that hate you. You practically forcing them to be with you. So that does make you selfish and a violator of your own holy principle. Free will..”_

_“I.AM.NOT.SELFISH”_

_“You are.”_

_“NO!”_

_“You are brother.”_

_“I…I am?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“I am.”_

Lucifer couldn’t take it anymore. He must have made a self-depreciating inhumane growl while his battle with his mind, because Chloe was now looking at him. Tears were swimming in her eyes, but not ready to fall. They were in a signal, and Chloe was staring at him with expressions half fear and half …concern?

“Lucifer?” She asked,.

“Apologies Detective.” He said, but quite didn’t know what was he apologising for. “I..I..”

With Chloe’s deepening frown, he finally steeled himself to voice anything more.

“You can drop me right here Detective, I can take a cab.”

No, Uriel was right. He was selfish, inflicting himself on others when they practically hated him.

Chloe blinked. It was his first spoken sentence in three hours now. Maybe he shouldn’t have spoken at all. He had read psychological articles on Google, the person you hate the most, his voice sounds like venom to you. As much proud he was with his orating eloquence, he was sure Chloe was disgusted with his voice as well.

“Lux is nearby Lucifer. I can’t leave you in the middle of street, making you go back in a cab. I…I won’t.” Chloe stared ahead, avoiding his scrutinising gaze.

Lucifer dropped the subject and closed his eyes resting his head on the head rest. He was exhausted. He wanted to rest. Only if he could.

After fifteen minutes, Chloe’s cruiser was parked in the front of the building. Lucifer moved out of the car, clumsily, wincing in pain for his injuries. After he was out, he leaned down, peeping his head into the car window, looking at Chloe for a moment.

She frowned. “What is it?”

And after a few passing seconds, Lucifer finally asked the question, that was bugging him since the evening. No since Charlotte. “Do you blame me Detective?”

Chloe cocked her head sideways, processing the question, “Blame you?”

“For Ca-, Pierce, for Charlotte, f-for…Joan..?” Lucifer sounded much more needy and small than he wanted. And then regretted. He has asked the question according to his desire, but he not prepared for the answer. He never could be.

“Lucifer I-“ Chloe started to speak, but he cut her off.

“NO. Detective, it’s okay…never mind.”

“Luc-“

“I will see you tomorrow, bright and early..Unless you don-“

“LUCIFER STOP!” Chloe yelled from her seat. He stopped. Chloe got out of the car to stand in front of her partner, who gradually stood straight to face her, though not without wincing in pain.

“Why do you ask questions when you don’t want to hear its answer?”

Lucifer looked away. How could he explain to her? It’s not that he don’t want to hear the answer. He wanted to, more than anything else. But he _can’t_ , not when he knows the answer. Ignorance is bliss.

“You ask me whether I blame you for all of this or not? Why don’t you want to hear the answer Lucifer?”

“It’s getting late Detective.”

Deflection, He is good at this.

“No. Answer me.”

Lucifer turned his gaze away, but Chloe stepped closer, stepping into his personal space. He wanted to move back, wanted to step out of whatever trap she was spinning, but he couldn’t.

 _“You are selfish brother. Getting the first hand proof of it.”_ Uriel’s voice echoed in his head like an empty vessel.

“I..can’t.” he says.

“Why?”

“Because the answer matters to me.” He said, not meeting his gaze with her. Her eyes were intense, as if she could burn a hole out of him just by staring.

“I don’t blame you.”

“What?”  
Lucifer snapped up his head. She…she doesn’t? Why doesn’t she? She should! He searched her face for any lie or trick, but there wasn’t any.

“I don’t blame you for Charlotte or Cain..”

“…and…Joan..?” His voice was too small and afraid.

“…”  
It was as if waiting for a sentence. Silence stretched, Lucifer’s heart thomping beneath him.

“…no.” She finally said.

“You…you don’t?”

“…no.”

“Why?”

“Because it was not your fault Lucifer, it was nobody’s fault. It was an accident. So were Charlotte’s and Pierce’s. You were defending yourself.”

“Too many accidents seem like a pattern.”

“Lucif-“

“Good night Detective.” Lucifer didn’t wait for her reply, he just turned and walked inside the club, not sparing a second glance towards her.

 _“She is too polite brother. Another reason why you don’t deserve her.”_ Uriel said. He wished he could disagree.

__________________________________________________________________________________

The penthouse was dark and empty. And there was a robe discarded in the middle of his living room. Of course. Lucifer decided to ignore the pile of fabric and headed towards his bar, pouring himself the best of the top shelf. The burn of the whiskey was pleasant, and successfully discarded the lump of tears forming in his throat. The silence in the penthouse was welcoming. Lonely.

He was lonely.

Few years back Linda explained to him, alone and lonely were completely different. He might never be alone, but he was lonely.

There was a time when he did feel lonely. In hell, when he longed to see his brothers, and sisters. When he longed for a second chance. But slowly and steadily, the longing disappeared, and anger filled the void. He made sure he was never left alone.

And then he stopped feeling Lonely. After Chloe, he thought he had that one friend who would never leave him. But she did.

And now he was lonely. He was alone. Both. It was fucking killing him. The silence, the darkness in the penthouse was killing him. He was sinking, his vision blurring. His breathing came out jagged, looking for a firm support to even stand, he clawed on the bar table. And then,

_“Hey Lucifer.”_

Chloe! How? Why was she here.

She stood there in a distance, just beside the leather settee watching him with cold, detached eyes.

“What? What are you doing here?” He rasped, struggling to breathe..

She stood there silent, watching him struggle.

“Why are you not talking to me?” He pleaded.

She still stood there, watching him.

“You..you don’t want to talk to me, do you?” He was now panting, the pain in his lungs extended to his heart. And with every second Chloe’s eyes hardened on him, it felt like it was better to die.

“ _Don’t you know the answer?”_ The woman’s voice was distant lapped with irritation and Lucifer felt the panic rise upto his throat. He did know the answer.

Then Uriel happened, he just walked from the balcony and stood beside Chloe, watching Lucifer with the same detached expression which nearly crushed Lucifer’s heart into pieces.

_“You know that brother don’t you..You know she doesn’t deserve you. You know you are a murderer. Don’t you brother?”_

“Please. Stop!”

The darkness is overwhelming him, everything is dark now, he cant see anything else apart from the figures. It’s like Hell..Is he in hell? He covered his ears as tightly as possible, squeezing his eyes shut to stop the noises sinking into his soul.

You deserve it.

We are you.

You are what you know.

Evil.

Murderer.

Destroyer.

“STOP! STOP! PLEASE STOP!” Lucifer was shouting, slouching on the table, making himself as small as possible. He needed air. Why couldn’t he breath?  
  


_“You killed me Lucifer.”_

This time the voice came from the elevator. It dinged open and Cain walked in, with one of the Maze’s hell forged blades.

“I…you wanted to die!” Lucifer tried to defend himself.

 _“Shouting the statement will not make it true Lucifer. I didn’t want to die that moment. Yet you killed me. And not only that, you enjoyed killing me Lucifer. What does that speak of you?”_ Cain smirked and threw the blade bathed in blood in front of Lucifer’s feet. He jolted away from the weapon, scabbing backwards and hitting the shelf of the bar. He pulled his hair, in despair.

And then another voice came, it approached from the bedroom,

 _“I am disappointed in you son.”_ His mum-in-Charlotte came in. “ _You sent me away. And then you couldn’t even save this body!”_

Lucifer fell on the floor with a thud. His knees hit hard as it landed on the cold marble. The jerk of his knee did distract him but it was not enough to make them go away, his shoulder was paining and the untreated bruised ribs were not doing good. Still, they were all gawking at him. And there was only one thing in their eyes – disappointment, shame.

“YOU ALL ARE NOT REAL! LEAVE ME ALONE!” Lucifer begged, curling himself into a tight ball, his eyes shut closed and he kept repeating in his mind, “not real! Please leave me alone! Please!”

He couldn’t breathe.

He vaguely heard the actual ding of the elevator. He vaguely remembered strong arms wrapping around, rubbing on his back. He vaguely registered the person’s voice. He just couldn’t breathe!

“Lucy! Breathe!”

He remembers the voice. It feels real. But it isn’t, is it? He makes him even smaller flinching away from the arms.

“Lucy, it’s me brother. Breathe brother! Please. “

Darkness gnaws at him, surrounds him and then drowns him.

__________________________________________________________________________________

When he wakes up, he is on his bed. When? What? Happened? He looks around groggily. It was still the middle of the night and his penthouse was now well lit, unlike the first time. The last thing Lucifer remembers was Chloe, Uriel, Pierce,Mum…they were ashamed of him. NO. It wasn’t real. They weren’t real.

“Lucy, you are awake?” The voice broke into his reverie, and for the first time in a very long time, he was grateful for Amenadiel’s interruption.

He pushed himself on his elbows, scooted backwards until his back and head rested on the headboard of his king sized bed. Lucifer looked at Amenadiel now closely, who was standing on the threshold.

“Searched my closet have you?” Lucifer smirked, but Amenadiel’s face scrunched even more in concern.

“Brother what is going on? You had a panic attack back then?!” His voice was deep and soft. For a moment Lucifer felt good at his concern for him. And then again, the small voice in his head kept saying he wasn’t worth it.

“Oh its…nothing for you to worry about brother.” Lucifer waved dismissingly. Amenadiel now walked over to his bed, sitting at it edge with that same bloody concern on his face! Why does he worry so much?!

“It’s not nothing Lucifer, you know that.” Amenadiel tried

“I thought you would be frolicking on the clouds now brother, you finally got what you desired. Whatever are you doing back here?” Lucifer asked instead. He was good at deflecting.

Amenadiel nodded his head, sighing a long wary sigh. Of course his brother would deflect. “I feel that earth is not that bad as I thought it to be Lucy. Humans are amazing! And i..i missed here.”

“Preaching to the choir brother. What? Silver city not what you remembered it to be?”

“Still silver, still city.”

Lucifer nodded.

“Lucy, now tell me, what’s going on? I am here okay, brother?”

“Well, just a revelation here, and a bit of blaming there. That’s all.”

Amenadiel frowned, “What’s that?”

“Nothing, the detective knows who I truly am. And apart from that Daniel blames me for everything, not that I care about his opinion, but it feels like…” Lucifer trailed off whatever he was about to say.

“Oh no Lucy. Do you need my help? What can I do? Tell me brother, I am here.”

“Brother relax! There is nothing you can do. And its just only a month now anyway.”

“What will happen after a month?”

“I will leave.”

This. This caught his attention. For a moment Amenadiel was lost, he blinked. It was…he didn’t know what it was. “You are going back to hell?”

Lucifer let out a hollow laugh, mostly self depreciating. “Well I suppose it’s the appropriate place for me though. But no. I am not going to hell, at least not in near future. Just Vegas.”

“You are moving to Vegas?! What about Lux?” Amenadiel nearly stifled a gasp…”What about Chloe?”

Lucifer scoffed slightly. Looking down at his lap he replied, “She doesn’t know. And i..i am not planning to tell her.”

“So you will just…run away again? Like the last time?”

“I am not running away, brother!” Lucifer said with annoyance, “ Detective doesn’t want me any way here. She fired me once and now she…well she is clearly guilty for whatever she did and now she just wants to keep her guilt away.”

“Luci, it is not what you think. Chloe might really be genuine to you now. And she will be devastated to know about your departure.”

“I highly doubt that, given that she still looks at me with fear and disgust.”

“Give her time.”

This conversation was growing irritating. “I GAVE! And I am giving her brother. There is still two weeks left for this month. IF she desires to have me by then, I will really comply.”

“But how will she know that if you don’t tell her you are leaving! Brother, its not fair on her.”

“I…I”

Lucifer didn’t have a proper explanation for that. 

“If you want her to choose you, then you need to give her a choice brother.”

Lucifer seemed to roll the thought on his tongue..after a minute he lay his head on the headboard, not looking up to see his brother. He sighed heavily. “I will tell her then. But..i don’t know how to.”

“Seems both of us need to figure our own problems then.”

“What are you talking-“

“Linda’s pregnant.”

Now it was his turn to blink. What?! Was that even possible?

“AN angel procreating a human! Never heard that before.” Lucifer grimaced.

Amenadiel nodded at bit more excitedly, “And if its so, then how come it hasn’t happened to you?”

“Good question. I am a responsible devil.”

Amenadiel rolled his eyes, “Yeah right.”

“There maybe one explanation.” Lucifer proposed and Amenadiel straightened up.

“You are also thinking that aren’t you? Maybe Linda is an angel in disguise-“

“Yes, or maybe you had become more human when you were mortal.”

The angel’s head cocked back, adorably. “That seems plausible, yes. But I have no idea how to be a father Luci.”

Lucifer’s gaze softened empathetically towards his brother, “If it’s any consolation brother, you can’t do any worse than our father.”

“How do you know?”

“Because” Lucifer looked up at the ceiling, “ours were literally not there.”

__________________________________________________________________________________

The next morning when Lucifer woke up, his head felt heavy. Maybe the emotional outburst and ‘panic attack’ from the other night was the reason. He scoffed bitterly. Looking at the alarm clock, it was six-thirty in the morning. He still had time. He trudged to his bathroom, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

Lucifer’s back was twitching uncomfortably. “Maybe the feathers got ruffled again. Bloody hell..” With a shoulder roll, he manifested his wings out.

“What the..”

That’s the second time in a month, he was about to curse. His eyes went wide round in both horror and panic. In front of the bathroom mirror, he stood silent and stoned.

And on his back there stuck out red, leathery bat wings with horns rather than his divine white feathery wings. 

________________________________________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing much to say here. Pour in your lovely comments. Next chapter next week.  
> Love love! <3<3


	13. Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, sorry for the delay, caught up in my exams and all. It's still going on though. So next chapter after 12th.   
> Jeez, let me study!

“Maybe you can tattoo them or something?.......They are disgusting doctor!..........No I DON’T NEED A BLOODY BOTOX!......You are completely useless!” Lucifer hung up his call of the seventh doctor. Since the morning his schedules have been pretty hectic.

No, it was not Lux, or the precinct. Yes, he didn’t go to the precinct today. As he was not exactly paid, and his position as the consultant was not yet officialised after his resignation, he didn’t have to present any reason for his absence, not that he did in the past anyways. He locked the elevator too. He already had too much to worry about, and definitely not the time expect any guest.

In the morning when he came to know about his giant, leathery red bat wings, he broke the bathroom mirror…how predictable. And then after pacing up and down his whole penthouse for about an hour, he debated on calling Linda. But of course it went straight to voice-mail. It was bloody seven in the morning. No, he won’t break the phone now, he already broke two phones in the last month, and right now contacting Linda was of much importance.

His tremendously fast mood swings were getting annoying now. Last night he had a panic attack! The Devil had a panic attack! The irony huh. But he couldn’t complain all of it. He got to see Uriel, his little brother and Charlotte, his mum too; doesn’t matter they were a fragment of his imagination, no matter they came to bash him or insult him; at least he got to see them. But at the same time, Chloe’s cold gaze, her freezing behaviour towards him – he couldn’t bear that. She was too polite to even allow him in her life, to be around her.

And then he almost cried like a child dragging himself down the wall on the floor of his bedroom. Why did every bad thing always happen to him? Was it because he was the Devil? Was it because he was the magnet to every bad omens and shortcomings? Eons and eons of hurt, abandonment, torture and yet he wasn’t done. The tears froze into fiery anger, and then it melted to fear – those wings truly define him now; he was truly a monster now. And as much as he would like the blame game now, that his dear old dad is manipulating him, he couldn’t do that. Because deep down he knew it wasn’t his father. All of these – his devil face, his devil wings were all his bloody fault! He felt like a monster. And thus his angel wings actualised into those hideous bat wings. What if he remained like that? What if he couldn’t go back? What if he scared off everyone in his life for good? He already lost two of his friends, counting Daniel. As much as he was douche, Lucifer liked the man and considered him as a friend. He couldn’t lose more.

A bitter, growling laugh rolled down his throat. After what seemed like an eternity, he pulled up. Standing on his feet now, he tore his hair in confusion and anger. What can he possibly do to avoid this? Trudging towards the couch in his living room, he sank down on the settee, his head in his hands as he buried his face on the palms. A few months ago he couldn’t even bear to look at his white wings. He called them ‘feathery burdens’, yet now, he would do anything to get them back. He wished the Detective was here. She always found a way to make him smile. But, she too was out of his reach. How could she possible stand him? He was a creep, and he knew he didn’t belong there. Yet he was. Uriel was right. He was selfish.

But he was not a monster! At least he didn’t want to be. He wanted redemption, yet he was miles away from it. He wanted acceptance, yet he knew he wouldn’t get it, he wanted love, and…well…maybe love hates him. He didn’t know how long he was seated like this with his head on his hands, elbows biting on his knees, his eyes hurt and hot trickles of tears dropped on the floor slowly. The devil was brooding, they would say. Honestly, he didn’t care. Maybe he dosed off sometime later. Because when the phone vibrated next to him and when he finally lifted his head, his shoulders were stiff, and the penthouse was dark. Was it evening? He was still in his red silky robe, he wore in the morning, he didn’t even brush his teeth, or took a shower the whole day, his hair was sticking out in all directions like antennas, and he was pretty sure he looked like shit. There were tears smeared around his cheeks. Who cries in their sleep?! 

Lucifer rubbed the haze in his eyes and looked down at the screen. The notification bar showed almost fifteen missed calls, and right now Linda was calling again. He quickly took the phone and answered the call.

“ _Hello, Lucifer! I called you so many times_!” Linda’s voice ebbed with concern, these days he hated it.

“Hello Doctor, I need your expertise on a certain matter.” Lucifer cleared his sore throat.

_“Lucifer I am right downstairs! I got your missed calls and I was worried so I came over. But your elevator is locked like the previous times. I was waiting here for an hour. Are you okay? “_

“Apologies Doctor, I might have dosed off. You can enter the code though to unlock the elevator.” He rasped, sinking further inside the couch.

“ _So you are telling, I would finally know the code?”_ Linda tried to joke, although it fell flat with the concern in her voice. She was too precious!

Lucifer chuckled, but didn’t elaborate the pun, “0611” He said. The particular number means a lot - The Detective’s birthday. He smiled inwardly. The last year he wasn’t there to celebrate her birthday. And probably this year too he won’t be there, for good.

“ _Be right there.”_ Linda’s voice cut through his thoughts and he scoffed annoyingly. Hanging the call, Lucifer checked the notification bar. The previous fifteen missed calls said he was being missed. He scoffed again, mostly hating himself all the more for it.

The last seven were from Linda herself. She probably cancelled her appointments for him and he didn’t even realise she was waiting, too bad. Three were from someone else. Apparently his smarmy demon called him thrice before texting him an angry message:

_What? You still brooding? Whatever, went to see Chloe once, don’t worry about it. Now off to bounty hunting. Don’t call back now._

Two were from his patrons, maybe for a business deal, he couldn’t care less.

And the first three were from the Detective.

Chloe.

And she left a voicemail. Wow. Right now, he didn’t need to hear her voice. But that’s exactly what he needed. Without thinking much, he played the voicemail:

 ** _Hey Lucifer, this is Chloe. You didn’t show up in the precinct and you aren’t picking the call…and we didn’t part on good ways yesterday….sooooo….just wanted to check on you. Hope you are fine. Maze came by today, we just talked…oukay…um..just be safe._** And in a very lowly voice he heard, ‘ _and don’t run off to Vegas’_ the tone was so low that he almost missed it. Almost ** _….night._ **

Okay maybe he shouldn’t have listened the voicemail. Now an even more bitter feeling churned in his stomach. The Vegas incident had tainted their friendship in more ways he initially imagined. And now after all this time, that’s exactly he was heading to, permanently this time. What would Chloe feel when she would listen to the news? He did indeed told Amenadiel that he would inform the Detective, apparently ‘give her choice’. But what choice did she have apart from sighing a breath of relief, now that finally the Devil was out of her hair? It’s not like the Detective was not evident in her ice cold behaviour towards him how terrified of him she was. His stomach flipped again, but not in a good way as he recalled whatever she asked him in the car..

_All the torture you did, did you enjoy it?_

How could she even fathom that he would enjoy the torture?!

Lucifer couldn’t complete the thought as the elevator dinged opened and Linda walked through it into the dark.

“Lucifer? What happened, Are you okay?” She asked walking slowly through as if unsure of her actions.

Silence.

It was long before Lucifer finally found his voice,

“You have to help me doctor. I-I d-don’t want to be a m-monster. I don’t -” it sounded raspy as the dull pain in his incredibly dry throat returned. Where was the whiskey? Lucifer’s eyes itch as the tears started clouding. He didn’t stop them though. In front of Linda he could be himself. He could be vulnerable and she won’t mind.

“What happened?” Linda asked softer than usual.

“It’s my wings. Since Pierce, I hadn’t checked them, never needed to. But today…I-I checked.”

“And?” The therapist probed.

Tears were now running freely from his eyes, Lucifer swallowed the lump in his throat, “They have changed. “

“What do you mean changed?”

Lucifer now looked up, Linda was standing much closer to him than he imagined, her eyes expectant and glassy. But no, he couldn’t look at her like that, with all those teary eyes, he couldn’t. He just..he just needed to show. SO he did that, almost in a trance. He stood up, walking away from the doctor, towards the balcony and stopped in the middle of the room.With a roll of his shoulder, the large red bat like wings appeared. Linda gasped, her eyes following the outlines of the wings, and then stopping at the particularly hideous horns protruding from the wing joint. Automatically her mouth fell open, as tears started forming in her eyes. “Oh Lucifer!”

Lucifer watched the therapist, her expression horror then melting into worry and concern. And the next thing, he shrugged his shoulders and the wings disappeared in a second. Linda blinked. Walking closer to Lucifer, only then she could see how bad he looked. His face spasmed with pain and hard lines, the red rimmed eyes and the purple bags were definitely a stark contrast to how pale he looked. And right now he was crying. “I don’t want to be a monster Linda..” The statement came out as a whisper, weak and uncertain.

Concern and guilt lurched her stomach. She should have been there for him. She walked towards him. Gingerly, Linda took his arm and guided him up towards his bedroom. “I don’t think bedroom is good option given your physical condition.” Lucifer said half- heartedly.

Good. Linda almost relaxed hearing the sexual pun he made. It means he hasn’t given up yet. “Yeah I know Lucifer, but I guess you need the bedroom. How long haven’t you eaten?” Linda asked as she made Lucifer sit at the edge of his bed facing her.

Lucifer stayed silent for a while, his eyes trained on his lap, before finally answering, “I ate a hamburger before the stakeout.”

“When was the stakeout?”

“Yesterday evening.” He replied almost sheepishly. Linda just gaped.

“So you are telling me you haven’t eaten since yesterday evening? Which was like more than twenty-four hours ago.”

“Celestials don’t need food as often as you humans do. We can survive without eating and certainly I didn’t call you for having dinner doctor!.”

“Okay, that is for the next time.” Linda looked around his bedroom for a chair to sit on. When she found one, at the corner of the room, she dragged it in front of the bed facing Lucifer. “Why do you think Lucifer, that you have got your devil wings?”

Lucifer scoffed and still evidently avoiding her gaze, “I can just say that it’s dad fault, manipulating me, tearing my life apart piece by piece.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“I do, but I also know that’s a lie.” A bitter laugh rolled off his mouth, “A grand deception I have been telling myself…since before I can remember.” Lucifer’s eyes flickered between Linda and the floor, as though looking at her would burn him.

“Then whose fault is it?” Linda asked once again in his therapist’s voice

When Lucifer remained silent, Linda continued, “Lucifer, don’t you see this is progress? Unravelling these patterns of denial- its progress, genuine progress..”

“NO Linda..” Lucifer snapped, almost disgusted, “it isn’t progress, because everything that’s happened to me its my own bloody fault! My devil face, these monstrosities in my back – its my own doing! And if it’s happening, then the truth is..” Lucifer broke off with a sob.

“What? The real truth is what?” Linda asked more firmly, “Come on Lucifer, you need to face this head on, otherwise it would weigh on you forever. The real truth is what?”

“I have these voices inside my head doctor, Chloe’s voice, Uriel’s voice – they tell me what I am. There is something rotten inside of me. I find it near impossible to drown out the constant cacophony of these voices whispering in my ear, telling me I am evil…”

Linda was crying now, her tears fell freely from her eyes, as she witness the pain and sufferings of her friend.

“…I am drowning doctor. And I cant stop asking myself, but…WHY DO I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH?!” Lucifer ended up in screaming and the friendship won. Linda instantly walked to his side, and pulled him over a light hug. Lucifer who used to flinch in every previous hugs, now didn’t protest. In fact he leaned in to the hug, wrapping his arms loosely around Linda, controlling his ragged breath.

“Everything will be alright Lucifer. Today, it was a breakthrough. I am here with you. Your friends are here with you. This will pass..”

Lucifer remained silent, he never thought, he would ever need a hug. But that’s exactly what he needed. Linda’s soft friendly touch helped him to quiet those voices. He tried to control the swirl of emotions storming his mind, and Linda’s touch helped him do that. After a few seconds, he pulled back and straightened himself. Wiping off the remaining tears, he headed towards the bar and poured himself generous amount of whiskey.

“Oh, where are my manners? Did you need a drink doctor?” Lucifer asked as he gulped his drink in one go.

“Lucifer I am pregnant.” Linda informed.

“Oh yes, I forgot! Amenadiel told me about it last night. I guess congratulations are in order. Some people find the life long burden fulfilling.” Lucifer smiled his charming armour. And Linda laughed nervously.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Maybe it was time for some lone time for Chloe. Dan took Trixie for the weekend. Losing Charlotte, Dan always needed someone he loved and Trixie was always there for him. The father- daughter duo spent more time now than ever, although Trixie’s constant whining about them watching Titanic almost every night almost made Chloe’s ears burst. But she knew, Dan needed Trixie and perhaps her spending some time alone would be better. After Lucifer disappeared for the rest of the day, she tried to call him thrice and when it reached the voicemail, she sent an awkward, horrible message that she realised much later after she had already sent it. Wasn’t there any option to unsend a voicemail?

It was almost two months and still she was finding hard to wrap her head all over the new information, The Devil, heaven, hell, every fucking thing! She was struggling and she knew Lucifer was too. He needed her now, yet she was sitting here in her apartment thinking about the supernatural. She felt guilty about not being the friend Lucifer needed at the time. And it was not fair for him, the way she had been acting towards him since the ‘big reveal’, it was definitely not his fault, that he was the Devil, and yet she behaved so coldly towards him. Her stomach churned as she remembered the devastating face he showed for a moment in their stakeout. How bad he must have felt, when she thoughtlessly voiced her insecurities. It was cruel of her.

And then he blamed himself for Charlotte’s death, for Joan’s death and even for Pierce…Cain’s death! So he never showed up at the precinct today. She couldn’t even begin to imagine his past, if he ruthlessly he takes all the blames on himself. How guarded he was, yet how carefree. No, it was wrong of her to treat him like that. When she fired him, she didn’t even consider what he went through that month. How could she be so selfish? She was so scared, that she forgot her best friend? He was just not the devil, he was Lucifer. Her Lucifer.

She had promised him, that she didn’t think him to be the Devil, on the night when they kissed. He was utterly terrified of her knowing the truth. Guilt started coiling her gut, he was so so scared of losing her, the day at the loft he was shattered. She was just like the others, who ran away. For years, she demanded the truth, she was upset that he didn’t trust her. And when he was the weakest, truly vulnerable and showed her the truth, what did she do that trust? Of course Lucifer didn’t blame. He would never blame her, even if the fault lies with her. That’s how good he is.

And it was like she lost her friend since that day. Because the Lucifer who accompanied her nowadays, didn’t quip or charm the witnesses any more, didn’t thrash or scared the suspects, didn’t even initiated his mojo unless Chloe asked him, he left the room as soon as they both would be alone. Both of them avoided the elephant in the room, or maybe she avoided and Lucifer wouldn’t push her. He restrained himself that much, only to make her feel comfortable. She really did give him the impression that he needed to change what he was to be with her, be the ideal partner and in the process hurt himself even more. He was not Lucifer, he was just a shell now. It was all her fault.

She really did fuck up.

Chloe was crouched on the sofa, thinking these things when the doorbell rang, nearly making her jump. It was way past evening and she definitely wasn’t expecting a guest. Peeping through the eyeball, her heart caught in the throat. Not of fear, she now got over the fear part. Out of guilt.

It was Maze.

How could she even face her now? Chloe simply kicked her out of the house, and never given a second thought about it. Had she even found herself a home? How would she apologise to her? Maze was her friend, her flatmate, Trixie’s bestfriend! And she so damn royally fucked all their relationship.

“Decker, you in there? I promise I won’t hurt you. Just came here to talk.” Maze shouted from the other end of the door. And Chloe’s guilt gnawed at her even more. When did she start fearing Chloe? Not wasting another moment, Chloe opened the door. Maze though remained where she was, highly unlike her and she looked something that wasn’t probably in her dictionary…uncertain.

“I owe you an apology Maze.” Chloe started, opening the door even wider, just a welcome gesture. “I am so sorry for kicking you out of the house. I let my fears get hold of me..”

“Don’t worry about it Decker. So we are…good?” Maze said in her casual tone, although it had a hard edge to it.

“Of course, please come in.” Chloe moved aside, to let the demon in, which Maze did, in her long huffy strides. As soon as she was in, Chloe continued, “I am sorry for keeping you apart from Trix, you can surely talk to her, she is at Dan’s..”

“Oh, we have already met.” Maze shrugged.

“When?” Chloe asked, she was certain she didn’t see Maze sneaking around her house.

“Three days ago. She sneaked out of Dan’s and then we went to Lucifer and she made him a deal.”

Chloe just stared at her. What?! “Do I even want to know about that?” She needed to have a talk with Trixie, the girl was becoming a rebel with each passing day.

“Well, you should Decker. The small human is much smarter than you, and whatever deal she made, it was for both of your’s sake.” Maze sat on the arm of the sofa, eyeing Chloe carefully, who was still standing by the door.

“What does that mean?” Did anything even make sense now?

“Maybe it would be good if he tells you that…honestly, that Devil is not good Chloe. He needs you…” Maze had a serious and concerned tone now. She was worried about Lucifer, and that was like a punch to Chloe. He was not good because of her. Because of her stupidity, her fear.

“I-“

But, “Yeah, I know you are kinda scared of him. But don’t be Chloe. He is just Lucifer, the irritating brat you have always known and I am Maze, the best bounty hunter. We are the same. The Devil, the demon its all a name Chloe. Underneath, we are just we.”

“I know that now Maze. Truly.” Words couldn’t describe how idiotic she must have been to cut them off her life like that. “Look, I cant say anything that will make up for whatever I have done to you both, but-“

“You don’t have to say anything Decker. Just do. I can’t do anything for him much. I did betray him a month ago, and he won’t open up to me again. He is trying to maintain a bravado. But deep inside, he _is_ bad. I want to say he is pathetic…but I can’t cause I was in the same place as him few months ago. And I hate to say this he is seriously damaged now. He needs a good repair….Only you can do that and do that FAST or else he will run away again when this gets too much for him!”

Chloe couldn’t form words anymore. Tears obstructed her eyes. Had she truly pushed him that far? Their friendship, his wellbeing, she had just stomped it under her boots. How could she do that. And he will run away? What did Maze mean by that?

“Oh not with the tears again!” Maze’s voice finally registered and Chloe was snapped out of her inner turmoil. “Cry later after I leave. I have a bounty to hunt and I will call Lucifer…So we are good right?”

“Y-yes..” Chloe sniffed, but she meant it. They were friends and she would fix everything. She would right all her wrongs, and she would make Lucifer happy again. Imagining the smiling Lucifer made her heart warm, filling it with a sudden aprisity. Yes, she knows it. She would do anything in the world to make him happy again.

“Okay, good talk. See you later Chloe.” Maze walked past her, opened the door and slammed the door behind her. Chloe just stood there, thinking everything that happened. For minutes, she replayed everything in her mind, since the day at the loft, the terrible month when she pushed her best friend away, how she missed him, yet feared him, and then the feeling that coiled in her gut when Lucifer brushed off the Aston case as their last case, when he got shot – the dread feeling of seeing him bleed to death, the texts he sent – those desperate beggings, his apologies, although it wasn’t his fault at all, his every expressions throughout and then his final words the previous night,

‘ _because the answer matters to me..’_

Her opinion matters to him. She matters to him. And Lucifer, he matters to her. For years, she had been denying the feelings, squashing them, but she couldn’t pretend anymore. She couldn’t hurt him anymore. Their partnership meant everything to her. He meant everything to her. And now, she finally knows the answer why.

She finally accepted it. And her body filled with warmth.

She loved him.

Chloe loved Lucifer Morningstar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so.....  
> pour in your comments.  
> love love. <3


	14. Weirdness averted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's 50% fluff and50% angst here. Pour in your lovely comments and happy reading!

The next morning, when Lucifer woke up, got dressed for the precinct he had expected it to be a usual day where Chloe would greet him professionally and be back to keep her distance from him. Given the way they separated the earlier night, he wasn’t even sure she would even talk straight to him. Although the voicemail Chloe sent last night, did partly prove that she was more worried than angry, but that didn’t help to resettle the sinking feeling in his stomach.

That was the one thing he hated. To make Chloe worry, that too for _him!_ He ditched the precinct the previous morning and then didn’t have enough courtesy to even inform the Detective or call her back. He was completely knackered by the outburst and the self-depreciating ‘breakthrough’ and as soon as Linda left, he found himself asleep/ pass out cold…and that too without being drunk.

And in morning, when he got out of his bed, he still felt like shit – but it wasn’t as bad as yesterday. Maybe some distraction would help. And a jolly good murder was a good distraction. At least the precinct would be noisy. He, alone along with his own thoughts – was a very dangerous notion.

This morning turned out weirder than expected.

While making his way towards the Detective’s desk in the precinct, he half expected to be yelled at or a brief sarcastic ‘Lucifer, so good for you to show your face’ from Chloe. What he didn’t expect was to see her smiling all teeth at him, as if he was the most precious thing in the world.

O…kay..?

It was weird.

Lucifer resisted the urge to frown at her or show his simmering confusion…gift horse and all that. If the Detective was really not cross with him, then he should be relieved. But…the way Chloe was looking at him…nay adoring him – no no no no, the concept itself was weird. 

“Good morning Detective, I hope I am not late.” He said, keeping her favourite tall almond milk latte with sugar free caramel drizzle on the table.

“Oh, you are right on time Lucifer…and thank you for this coffee. It’s perfect.”

Oh.

Not until today she had ever appreciated him for her coffee.

Lucifer smiled awkwardly – the best he could muster. Had he taken something? And it was affecting him too much with the Detective around? Was he hallucinating? Probably…

And then he noticed – like actually noticed. The Detective was wearing a dark coloured crisp shirt – a new shirt, and a blue jeans. She had a fish tail braid which looked elegant on her. AND she wore eyeliner and a peach shade lipstick – slightly more coloured than her usual one. She spent an extra hour grooming, doing makeup for looking good. And she looked beautiful!

Lucifer found himself staring at her with his jaws open. He should not look at Chloe, like that. They were just partners, nothing else. And right now he was looking at her like he was enchanted by her beauty. **_Oh dad! Why did she have to be the Aphrodite herself?!_**

He kept on looking at her entranced until he found her cheeks and nose turning beet red and she quickly looked down. And wait…. Was she smiling? She caught him gaping at her like a teenage dullard and she was smiling?! So much for Devil’s reputation.

Great! It got awkward now.

If it would have been earlier in their partnership, he would definitely comment on her looks as a friend. But right now, he wasn’t sure anymore whether he was her friend or not. He didn’t want to mislead their conversation. The Detective wanted space from him and he would not ruin her trust by letting his pesky emotionality between them. Should he compliment? He should complement? What if she minded anything? It was just a compliment! Come on, he could do it!

When Lucifer finally gained the mind to talk, he was completely reddened and flustered.

Clearing his throat, “You…um…look beautiful detective!”

“Really?” If it was possible, Chloe’s smile widened even more and her eyes shimmered gleefully, “Thank you Lucifer. You look handsome too.”

What?

His throat could never be cleared now, “SO…umm, do we have any case?”

Chloe nodded a no, batting her eyelashes and making her look even more attractive. She had so long and deep eyelashes and her blue eyes – it was hypnotising. He was losing himself…”We don’t really have a case now. But you can hang out here sometime. I will really be happy if you stay.” And then that smile…The smile that can stop his heart. What the bloody hell was wrong with the day?!

“I-…” He cleared his throat again, “Uh..yes I would love to. If that’s what you desire.”

“I desire that.” Chloe smiled again, touching his forearms gently.

Her touch sent electricity into his body. Heat was pooling inside his body and it took every ounce of his self-control to _not_ pull her into his arms and press his lips against her…Oh how divine that would be? And as quickly as it came, the detective withdrew her hands, but not before stroking a thumb over his skin. Dad be damned! This tingling feeling with her every touch was…well everything!

Was it possible to die of shock? Good shock that is…

This woman would snatch this Devil’s eloquence one day.

“Um…I will go…see Miss Lopez, if that’s…alright?” He rasped, still not forgetting the electrifying feeling.

“Sure. Do whatever you desire Lucifer.” The words came out velvety and like a butter out of her mouth. She smirked and…

Damn it!

DAMN IT! 

Lucifer made his way towards the lab as quickly as possible. Well, that was basically not making way – that was chickening out. Not that he would ever admit that. Miss Lopez was doing her usual forensic stuffs when Lucifer entered the lab and closed the door behind him. Staying away from the Detective and her weirdness would provide him and his little soldier some relief. Not that he was filling with lust or anything…

“Good morning Miss Lopez!” He said.

Ella was chirpy that day. She looked up from her microscope with her 100 watt smile, “Hey! Good Morning Lucy Devil!”

“Lucy Devil?! I beg your pardon?” Lucifer pouted. What kind of a name was that?

Ella burst out in giggles, darting her ways forward, she gave him a quick hug. At least today it was not a squashing hug anyways, and then she walked back to her desk. “How you doing?” She asked.

“I…am confused to be honest Miss Lopez.” He replied. The day and the Detective both were becoming weirder and weirder and he had no idea to stop this overwhelming electrical sensation running through his body, after the detective touched him. It was strange, because he had hugged the Detective earlier, hell he had even kissed her – but back then, it was a flip flop feeling in his stomach and a mild tingling. But now it was more electrifying. He wasn’t touch starved, was he?

“Confused? Why?” The forensic scientist asked…

“Well, when I arrived at the precinct today and handed the Detective her coffee, she thanked me. And then she also said that I looked handsome, and the whole time she was smiling like a…like a pretty teenage girl? I mean, do you think she is sick?”

Ella’s face was neutral for a second. Then it twitched. The next second she was biting her cheeks – more like supressing her laughter. This reaction baffled Lucifer even more. He cocked his head sideways and pouted, “Whatever is going on here?” He looked between Ella and the Lab window towards Chloe. Could this day get anymore baffling?

“Oh.My.Gosh! You really don’t know what this means Lucifer?” Ella then burst out, hopping up and down like an over-excited bunny.

“That she needs to call in sick?” Lucifer replied.

“No you silly! This means she is interested in you! Like really really interested. “

This was even more amusing.

“She is swooning over you Lucifer!” Ella explained more, and that smile on her face never seemed to cease. “I knew Deckerstar would live long!”

“Wait, hold on a second.” Lucifer raised his index finger motioning Ella to stop. “This is impossible Miss Lopez. The Detective knows what I am. She would never, like _never_ be interested in me.” He sighed. That was the truth wasn’t it? He was unworthy of any kind of love. “If she had any common sense, she would run away from me with her spawn as far as possible.”

Ella smile faded and a more concerning expression replaced it, “Aww Luce, you are not someone to be scared of. Look, even I know about you. Did I run? No right? Anyone who knows you, will always know that you are the bravest, best, and the most adorable person on earth!”

“ _I am not adorable!_ And the fact that you haven’t run away from me is shocking enough for me. When the good doctor got a celestial crash course, she lost her mind for two weeks. The detective fired me! And you? You just…hugged me? And it is mind boggling! Am I not scary enough for you?”

“Jeez, you worry too much. Being the Devil is not your identity Lucifer. It is a part of your identity. A title won’t define who you are!” Ella explained. “And Chloe knows that. She sees the real you now.”

Was she joking? She was joking! Would she ever fail to amuse him? He opened his mouth a few times, but whatever reply he was concocting in his mind, died on his tongue. Ella really didn’t see him as evil! And…he didn’t know what to do with that. He went for a different route then,

“I wanted to say Chloe something. It’s important and I…I don’t know how to voice it.” He said instead. He had to inform about his decision of leaving LA. He wanted to say that as soon as he met the Detective, but her…appearance had knocked that thought out of his mind. And with the recent behaviour developments, he didn’t know how to inform her now.

“Ooohh, paint me interested. What is it? Will you take her to a date? Are you considering a relationship? Ella gasped, “Oh, are you gonna confess your love to Decker?”

“No no no, nothing like that at all!” Gosh! What was it with everyone’s interests in his feelings? “It’s just a decision I have taken lately. And I gave my word to Amenadiel, to inform the Detective about this decision, to give her choice.” He sighed, “I just don’t know when is the right time to tell her.”

“Lucifer, there is no right time like that! If you have to say something to Decker, just spill it! If you procrastinate for a ‘right time’ , you will never end up telling her..”

And that’s when the lab door opened again and Chloe walked through it. Lucifer’s breath hitched, as she stood just beside him. Their arms touching, and he could smell the floral perfume she wore. It was tantalizing. Lucifer’s palms itched with the need of holding her closer to him. So he put them into his pockets instead, clutching the inside of the fabric tightly.

And the sharp squeals, fake coughs and odd stares Miss Lopez was giving them both were definitely not helping at all.

“Hey Ella. I was thinking of doing a girl’s night soon. As we don’t have any active cases now…” Chloe started. Smooth.

“Sure Decker! I am always up for a bar fight and getting drunk.”

“Ooh, I like this conversation already.” Lucifer cooed from the side. And the two woman looked at him.

Chloe rolled her eyes. Thank dad, at least some normalcy was back. “Nope, we are not having this conversation in front of Lucifer.”

“Yes, I totes agree. These are girly stuffs Lucifer..” Ella supported his partner.

“Wha- but it was just getting interesting!” Lucifer whined, but decided to leave it there as soon as he received two death glares from the ladies. He huffed..”Fine, fine fine fine!”

When he turned towards the case, Chloe stopped him gently by placing a hand on his arm. He froze. Again, that tingling sensation and the electricity. Damn!

“Lucifer, I want to talk to you later okay? It’s about…us. I have a few things to say.”

He so wanted to avoid this conversation. But he was knocking on the death door. He feared what Chloe would say. But he also feared how he would cope with all these. Chloe would surely reject him or fire him again. But on the positive side, he could propose his decision easier if she would just ask him to leave, right? Just thinking about leaving LA, was like a stab to his heart. Swallowing his pain and fear, he simply nodded and said, “Yes Detective. I think it’s time to have this talk. I too have something important to say to you.”

“We will talk later, yeah?” She visibly winced at the statement and he understood why. The last time they had this conversation, he ran. And that bitter taint in their partnership was permanent, so was his being the Devil part and her being the miracle part…oh no..How would she react when she would know this? He was doomed already, what else could go wrong?

Lucifer nodded and left, leaving the girls talk about their ‘girly stuff’ or whatever that was.

_________________________________________________________________________________

It was quite some time that Chloe was talking to Ella. What was she talking about? Girls, huh! Lucifer found himself on the detective’s desk, adjusting the height of his chair playfully. It was getting boring.

He replayed the incidents of the morning in his mind – Chloe smiling at him, just like that older times…It was so easy to pretend like that, that his devil face never happened and Chloe never feared him on the first place.

_Do I scare you Detective?_

_-No.._

How he wished to go back to those days – where things were so simple between them. But he couldn’t. If what Miss Lopez said was true, then…did Chloe really accept him? How would he know that?! He had to ask someone!

That’s when Daniel passed by his desk. When his eyes caught him, immediately,

“Sir Douche!” Lucifer called out.

Daniel though stopped in his tracks, he didn’t turn to face him. The Devil walked up to him in his stupidly grinning face.

“What?!” Daniel spat, whirling around to face the consultant.

Lucifer flinched a bit at his wild reaction, “Well good morning to you too Daniel.” He huffed, “Look I need to know something. What do you do when you want to decipher a woman’s mind? How do you understand what’s going on in their mind?”

“I am not interested man. Leave me alone.” Dan replied with an unnecessary venom.

“Well Thank you for being an absolute Douche! Although what else can I expect from you?” Lucifer replied. And that seemed to be the breaking point of the man.

“YOU! You have the nerve to stand in front of me and address me with whatever you want!? After everything! You have the nerve to even come here! Have you no shame, or are completely thick skinned?” Daniel spat much loudly to turn some heads around.

This was not going good. He was definitely not thick skinned and he was here because the detective desired him to be here…”Daniel” He started..

“No! You might not be affected with everything that happened, but we are! You might not feel anything with people’s blood on your hands and why would you? You say for yourself you are the Devil! You are Evil!”

Lucifer blanched. It was true, wasn’t it? But Dan didn’t stop.

“Do you have any idea what it feels when your loved ones are not with you? When you have to bury them with your own hands?”

Uriel…He does know the feeling. Lucifer was pushed down and down with Dan’s words…

“Oh you will not. Because that would imply that you actually have loved ones. You are alone Lucifer! You know what, that suits you because you don’t deserve anyone. Look at Charlotte, look at everyone. Chloe was much happier before you! You just destroy lives.”

Dan was feeling good to see the colour drain out from his face. His heart was heavy with all the unspoken anger for months, and now getting them out was good. Lucifer deserved to get hurt. He deserved every bad thing for Charlotte. With his growing excitement and anger, he didn’t realise how his voice was loud and the precinct was eerily silent. He didn’t realise everyone’s gaze at them, he didn’t see the twitching of the lab’s blinds and he definitely didn’t notice how stiff Lucifer has got. He just kept on going,

“And now you come here, play your stupid tricks on me and expect me to help you! Know this Lucifer, I can never be your friend. You know why?” Daniel pricked his two fingers harshly on Lucifer’s chest, “Because YOU are a murderer. And YOU are a monster! That’s the reason everybody left you. I guess that’s the reason your family got rid of you. So YOU JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME AND EVERYONE ELSE!”

“DAN!” Chloe’s voice stopped him. And for the first time, he got his senses back. Daniel looked around the precinct to see all the eyes on them. Chloe and Ella both were standing behind Lucifer, their mouth opened in horror and anger. “How dare you insult him!” Chloe spat. If her death glare was evident, Dan knew he had fucked up.

Shit.

“No, Detective.” Lucifer interrupted, his hand raised in the air to indicate ‘stop’, his voice faltered but the tone was firm. Daniel now looked at the man in front of him. He was sickly pale – as if his every words were a physical blow on his face. Lucifer’s shoulders were slump and his jaws were locked too tightly. He was shaking – Dan didn’t know whether it was from rage or anything else. Lucifer looked at the prying eyes around…

“Lucifer, You are not a – “ Chloe tried, touching his arm but Lucifer jerked away from the touch immediately. He was staring at Dan now, with an intensity that could wear a hole in his body. His face was passive, but lips trembling. Dan couldn’t fathom what he was upto. He kept mummed.

“Daniel, you are right. I am a murderer, I am a monster, I am evil. If you would know what I have done in my past, you would surely run away.” The way Lucifer was stating this made Dan shiver. It was like he _knew_ that he was a monster. His tone was dangerously calm and yet intense. “Yes you are, my family did get rid of me as I was a disappointment. Yes, I hurt people. So if my existing seems to be the problem for all of you,” Lucifer shifted his gaze from him to Chloe and then back to him. “Then it will be prudent if I get out of your hair, isn’t it? It is happening anyways. I will be out of your lives for good within one month.”

Wait…what?

Chloe and Ella frowned. “What do you mean?” Chloe asked…She definitely forgot the crowd watching them.

“Yes Detective. “ Lucifer didn’t even acknowledge her, just kept staring at the man. While Dan withered under his gaze. “I am leaving LA in a month. Forever. So what are you all waiting for? Go and celebrate. Consider me dead for all of you then.”

Chloe gasped. Ella frowned.

“And Daniel, I might be everything you said, but I certainly don’t pick up other’s weaknesses to hurt them. And I definitely don’t find peace in hurting others, unlike you.” Lucifer stated with the most impassive face.

Immediately Dan flinched, not being able to take the weight of his accusation. He couldn’t reply anything. How could he?

And Lucifer left the precinct without any further word, leaving a bewildered Chloe, Ella and Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please dont kill me now. And tissue paper anyone? Next chapter next week.  
> Love love..<3


	15. Forever...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ouuukkkkaaaayyyy...so late update - so sorry.  
> Its an important chapter and tbh i was working on some other fics that i will be publishing soon.  
> So happy reading.

_I will be leaving LA forever…_

_Forever._

Forever – no coming back from this word. Her whole lifetime –forever.

Chloe stumbled back as she processed the word in her mind. He said that. He said – nay, he stated that. He will be leaving him forever. Forever.

The word stabbed in her gut like an ice knife and she withered underneath in pain. She could hear muffled grunts and noises around her, but it was not his voice. She could hear a faint ‘Chloe’ and stubborn hands on her shoulder trying to shake her into a reaction. But it was not ‘Detective’, it was not his hands. Him…

He just left her. He stated that he would be leaving her and he just left her.

Forever…The word as if was choking her and sucking the very dear life out of her. She kept staring towards the staircase – he had walked out through the staircase and now the path had no trace of him.

How did the day turn over like this? In the morning everything was so perfect. Everything seemed to be on their side and for a moment she thought things could really go back to the way they were. She was so wrong. So very wrong.

Cause, things could never go back to normal. Cause they were not normal. Cause _he_ was not normal.

No.

She won’t let this happen again. She won’t let him run away again. Well, if she was him, she would do the exact same thing. Wouldn’t she? After all the hatred Lucifer was getting these past few days – everybody had a breaking point.

**_All those souls you torture, do you enjoy it?_ **

**_I missed you, you know.._ **

**_Detective has blocked me…I don’t even know why I am sending this._ **

Lucifer might be the Devil – but he was living being, breathing with all those emotions. And everything between them – this overwhelming distance, has hurt him, she knew that. She had hurt him.

**_I am drowning…_ **

**_Do you hate me Detective?_ **

**_I am a monster_ **

But that didn’t mean he could just run away again. He didn’t even care to inform her, he just stated!? How was that fair??! Here she was thinking about removing all the distance between them; thinking about taking a step with him, to move forward; she was thinking about confessing her love to him. And all this time, he was planning to leave her. He didn’t even care to mention that before – probably he wouldn’t have mentioned also if this incident wouldn’t have happened today. He would just have left –like the last time. She didn’t know what to think of that.

Her heart bled. There was no enough oxygen in the room for her to breath. And the stupid hands on her shoulders were still shaking her. She just had to go back to the penthouse. She had to talk to him…How could he do that to her?!

But before that…

_SMACK!_

The hands left her shoulders to touch the slapped cheek. Dan scrambled backwards trying to get some balance. But before he could wrap his head around what just happened Chloe was pulling him to the interrogation room, the prying eyes of others following their movement minutely.

“What? Don’t you have other works to do?” Chloe shouted at the audience before slamming the door of the interrogation room behind her and Dan. Thankfully the Lieutenant was not there in his office otherwise both of them would have been in a grave trouble.

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?” Chloe shouted making Dan flinch extremely to her severe tone.

“I…just lost it. That guy, he pisses me all the time and you all always…ALWAYS support him. I just can’t! When I do anything wrong, I never get a chance. But when it comes to Lucifer, you always get your blinds on! How can this be fair Chloe? I am burning here, he is the reason Charlotte is dead! He took away everything! I lost everyone and yet, you are thinking about him and not me!” All these months of pent up frustration and anger - Dan just couldn’t get hold of it. He just let it out like venom.

“Dan I never stopped caring about you! We all care about you. Trixie is worried sick about you, I am worried! You just have to let us in. We all are suffering Dan. Charlotte was our friend as well. And you know that Lucifer can’t be blamed for her death..” Dan opened his mouth to retaliate but Chloe stopped him and continued instead, “Yes, You know that. What would you have done if Lucifer told you that Pierce is the sinnerman? And truth to be told he did try to tell us. It was us who didn’t believe him.” It was so true. Pierce was the world’s first murderer – Lucifer was telling her the truth from the beginning. All these years, she would be frustrated about his metaphors and delusions. But it was all true. Everything was in front of her…but she chose to ignore it.

“Oh please! Don’t give me that crap. He told you that Pierce was immortal and not the sinnerman.” Dan scowled.

“I am his partner Dan, I should have known that even with Lucifer’s own terms and world , he always tells the truth. I should have looked into him and I almost married him! If Lucifer is responsible for Charlotte’s death then so do I.” Chloe raised her chin higher looking at Dan confidently. Chloe won’t tell Lucifer wasn’t entirely innocent but he didn’t deserve to be blamed for everything happened to Charlotte.

“Of course not, you didn’t know about Pierce Chloe…You wouldn’t have known that. But Lucifer knew! He knew and he didn’t tell!” Dan reasoned.

“Dan…he has been suffering as well. Charlotte was his friend, his step mom as you know.” Dan squirmed at the word and Chloe cringed inwardly as well – she still didn’t know how Charlotte fit into the whole scenario but she sadi it nonetheless…”Do you think he is not guilty enough? Of course he is! You want to hurt less, I know that. But blaming others to hurt less – this is not good Dan. Let us help you please. Today whatever you did, you hurt Lucifer in the worst way possible. He considered you friend and now he is leaving…for all of us! Can you even think of what those words did to him?!”

Dan went silent now. He had nothing to reply. He has always blamed Lucifer because it was easier for him. But he never once thought about that guy. He sure was a dick but whatever Dan said today to him, about his family – he had well and truly fucked up. 

“He is not like us. He has suffered a lot in his life and right now, our partnership – its also in the rocky grounds. One simple move and he would severe all of the ties with me, with you and the LA. I don’t want that. I can’t think of my life without him Dan.” She had no shame in telling the others that she needed Lucifer. She loved him and she needed him.

“Why did you fire him then huh? If you needed him, why did you just throw him out of your life one month ago? And why do you care about him now? Why now?”

This was her time to look down in shame. “I shouldn’t have done that. He showed me the most important thing in his life. He opened himself in front of me and I reacted in a bad way. I reacted exactly what he expected me to be. I hurt him, really. And now he doesn’t even trust me, he…doesn’t consider me a friend anymore.”

“If he was really that good, then you wouldn’t have run like that…he _is_ a bad guy!” Dan kept insisting and Chloe’s patience was thinning out now. She was already running late, she had visit Lucifer. Who knows what he was doing now, how he was holding up? Did he already leave?

“Look..” Chloe tried for the last time to keep herself calm. “It’s not always about who you are. Lucifer _is_ a good man, he _is_ kind and he can be smug, childish and a pain in the ass, but he ALWAYS has good intentions in his mind. I can never really tell why on the first place I reacted the way I did. And I cant possibly make up for that ever. But now I know I was wrong. And you are wrong too. Stop blaming him Dan. It’s high time you realize whatever you are doing to him – it’s crossing your limits. Stop doing this.” With this said, Chloe turned over heels to escape the interrogation room. She had told Dan whatever she needed to, now it was upto him and his conscience. If he truly had this much of hatred against Lucifer for an abrupt notion, she could do nothing about it. It all came down to his choice now. When Chloe almost opened the door, Dan called out..

“I should apologize to him, shouldn’t I?” He said.

“You should Dan. You should.” She said her last words before fleeing the room and the precinct.

__________________________________________________________________________________

The ride to the Sunset Boulevard was longer than usual. Every second of the ride seemed to stretch like an eternity. The infinite numbers of phonecalls and texts failed to reach their destination as it slipped right into the voicemail section…Text remained unanswered. With every traffic signal, rage and frustration bubbled in her blood. This was the time she wished, she had a pair of wings. Did Lucifer have wings?

_My wings! They are back! Dear old dad up to his old tricks manipulating me!_

Those white feathers all over the warehouse…they were his feathers! His wings! She never really spared a thought about those until now. The Devil didn’t have any horns or tail. But he did have angel wings!

_Fallen angel…_

_Angel…_

She loved an angel. She loved THE DEVIL. Everything still seemed so surreal.

As she parked by Lux, her heart fluttered like a trapped bird in cage. What was she going to say to him? How would he react to her? After everything in the precinct, how was he holding up?

When she entered Lux, it was dark – cold and empty. Chloe shuddered at the atmosphere. The personality who used to lit the club up was not there. Her life would be like this, if he left – dark, cold and empty. One of his bartenders seemed to notice her…Patrick. All of his bartenders mysteriously knew her and the fact that she was special.

“Miss Decker, Boss has forbidden any guest visit!” He shouted from behind the bar as he saw Chloe approach the elevator.

“I don’t care Patrick..I need to see your boss now.” Not even bothering to stop, Chloe pressed the elevator button. But the doors remained sealed.

OF COURSE! She forgot Lucifer had locked the elevator. She had tried punching several codes the last time she wanted to go up, but everytime it failed. And right now, Chloe didn’t seem to think logically…With a grunt she pressed her birthday almost instinctively.

To her surprise, the doors opened. HUH!?

All this time, Lucifer had made her birthday as his passcode. What did that mean? For some reason, it warmed her heart and wrenched it into two halves as well. She was of _this_ high value in his life. Her opinions, her matters, her birthday, _she –_ He valued everything so much. And she forgot him and fired him…just threw him out of her life. She didn’t even think how all of this would affect him.

Tears burnt behind her eyes and her breath hitched as the carrier moved up – heart beating faster and faster with each floor passing. Now was not the time to chicken out. Her partner needed her. She might have abandoned her before but now, she won’t let him go away from her life. She sounded absolutely selfish. But she didn’t care. All she could care was Lucifer.

The ding of the elevator broke her out of the reverie. As she stepped into the penthouse, she took in the environment. It had been months that she had stepped here – the devil’s lair. Ever since Marc- Cain, their relationship had been strained that she hardly came to check on him, and he hardly visited her since then. And after the Devil issue, everything just stopped – their friendship, their care for each other…everything! They just stopped being friends and became familiar strangers again. Every progress in their bonding throughout these years just regressed because of her ill fated decisions…

The penthouse was over all clean. Too clean to be precise. She knew Lucifer was particular about cleanliness and stuffs – but right now the penthouse didn’t have the same familiarity as before. The warmth of home which she felt before was gone. The house was not ‘lived in’ it seemed.

She felt cold. It was dimly illuminated by the setting sun outside but other than that no lights were on. The bar though, where bottles of amber liquid were supposed to be exhibited, now were replaced by empty bottles. She knew Lucifer had unhealthy coping mechanism. With everything happening to him, he would obviously go on a bender. Her gut twisted in worry.

“Lucifer?” She called out, but no familiar figure replied. She was met with dead silence. The worry steeped to a higher level. Where did he go?

“Lucifer? She called out again, louder this time.

Nooo…no no no…Her heart rose to her throat. He couldn’t leave her, he couldn’t leave her….no! – Chloe kept repeating the statement in her head like a mantra…She hurried towards the bedroom – panic rising. When she found the room empty too she checked the bathroom and then the balcony….

No no no…

No clue of Lucifer. She could hear her heart beating erratically as her throat burnt with the pressure of all those unshed tears…

“Lucifer.” This time it came out as a sob – a fragile whisper as she trudged towards the centre of her living room. Legs feeling too heavy she sank down on the couch as she let those tears finally fall down her cheeks. He was gone…He truly was gone again.

“Detective?”

The word came crashing to her like a wave of relief. Chloe whirled around wildly, almost knocking off the coffee table to find Lucifer standing beside the bookshelf above the secondary staircase in his penthouse. Chloe never saw where that staircase would lead.

Lucifer looked utterly wreck. His suit and vest coat had disappeared; the top buttons of his untucked shirt was unbuttoned and the sleeves were rolled up to his elbow. His hair was dishevelled and he was covered in dirt and sweat. His eyes were red rimmed, though dry. His cheeks though said differently – smeared with tears.

The way he said Detective – it didn’t have any warmth or familiarity in it. It was just a cold title he used. That’s when she noticed the grimace on his face – like he wasn’t happy about her visit. She couldn’t blame him though. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

“Lucifer!” She breathed again, the waves of relief still flowing within her.

“How did you get in?” He grimaced again.

“Your passcode wasn’t that hard to guess.” Chloe stated sheepishly. The air in the room was heavy and tense. Lucifers’s mouth twisted in a downward curl and he nodded. “You should have kept a difficult code if you didn’t want me here.”

“I never thought that you would even dare to set foot in my penthouse again.”

His face was unreadable and passive and Chloe started feeling uncomfortable. She never felt uncomfortable with him before! But she was a detective. It didn’t take her time to realise that her partner was deliberately making her feel uncomfortable. She knows the trap. He was trying to make her leave so that he could drown in that self-hatred again. Nope. She wouldn’t fall in that hole.

Lucifer now changed his tactics. Shifting his position he walked towards her like a predator. His expression remained cold and hard – making her feel like no more than an insect crawling into his abode. It wasn’t a humanly gait. It was the Devil’s gait which sent chills in her spine. The person standing in front of her was not human. He was the Devil, the punisher, the king of hell! He was evergreen, immortal and beyond time. He was beyond her perceptions. He was the creator of universe – sort of, son of _the God._ When making her feel uncomfortable didn’t work, he tried to scare her off. Smooth.

Chloe didn’t know whether this was him testing her or he genuinely wanted her gone, but she didn’t budge. She kept standing exactly at the same spot until they were standing face to face, inches apart... She was not scared of him anymore. She loved him and she would never be scared of the person she so dearly loved. She knew Lucifer would never hurt her.

The glaring game continued for a few more seconds – Chloe didn’t move neither she bowed her head in fear. She just kept looking at him with all the love she had. After those icy silence and eternal moments he finally gave up. It wasn’t a surprise for her when his whole posture changed again. Lucifer’s cold and hard face changed into one with extreme agony, his shoulders drooped and he looked away – as if her gaze burnt him. Gone was the Devil, now all she could see was a broken, vulnerable man.

He looked defeated.

With a long, shuddering sigh, Lucifer moved past her and walked towards the balcony. “Go away Detective. I have been chastised enough for the day and I am in no mood for more.”

Chastise? Did he really think she would chastise _him_ for whatever happened today?....well she was going to scold him or yell at him for stating that he would be leaving her but the more she was seeing him, the more those yellings died in her throat. He was well beyond his breaking point and she really couldn’t blame him for deciding to leave. She didn’t have the right to.

“Do you really think I am here to chastise you?” She looked at the man in front of him. Lucifer was facing the balcony, his back towards her and even in his dishevelled look he looked heavenly…

“What else would you be here for? You are like everyone else – thinking that the Devil is always at the fault of everything. I am a master of Lies right? The evil incarnate!” He huffed. Even with his mocking tone, Chloe felt the shudder in his voice like he was close to tears..

That actually hurt. She was _not_ like everyone else. But she did give him that impression didn’t she? She ran away, abandoned him like others, just like his family. That did make him like everyone else. Though she pretended not to sound hurt. Everything he was saying came from a place of deep hurt and betrayal.

“Lucifer-“

But she wasn’t let to be finished. Lucifer kept on going, “In my defence, today I truly felt humiliated. I might not be a human, I might not be fit to your _human_ society, but it doesn’t mean I can be treated like trash by a douche. I am the Devil and I have my reputation. Although every single thing he stated was true nonetheless and I was wondering when he would have this breakdown, I would have preferred it in a more civil way.”

“Lucifer I am not here to take Dan’s side here. What he did today was not at all appropriate! And no! He doesn’t have the right to tell you things like that! And all those horrible things he said, they were not true!” Chloe insisted.

The answer was a snort and a self depreciating laugh.

“Lucifer you have to believe me!” Eons of neglect, loneliness, self loathing – all these things were a constant with her partner and Chloe wasn’t sure how much her words would be effective but she had to try, she had to fix things.

“Believe you? Why? You did the same thing Detective! You told me that you don’t see me as evil! You told me that you knew me that day on the balcony!” Lucifer whirled around like an animal to face her. His eyes were wild. Everything he had been trying to hide, to bury deep down his mind – his hurt, pain, anger everything was now coming out full force. He needed that. She knew he needed that. He couldn’t just keep suffering alone all the time. He needed to let go. “I, like a fool believed every single thing you said. I truly believed that this was my chance to happiness! I was naïve to have believed that.”

“I wasn’t lying that time!” Chloe defended. Her own frustration rising.

“NO you weren’t, because it was from pity that you said! You thought me to be a pathetic delusional patient and then when you came to know the truth, you couldn’t handle it!”

“Do you really blame me for needing time to process all of this?! I have been an atheist all my life Lucifer! And suddenly I got to know that my partner, whom I have kissed the other night, was really the devil! The heaven and hell truly exist- my whole world turned upside down! And you blame for acting what everyone would do in my situation!?” Chloe yelled. She just couldn’t! This being was really frustrating her now.

“I don’t blame you detective.” Lucifer said, his voice low and fragile. He looked down and kept his eyes there on the floor. “I would never blame you. I-i..I don’t know what is happening to me. The whole month you just cut me out of your life like that and then I had to see the fear in your eyes everyday – it…it was hell for me. And… I really thought there would be one human who would love me as I am.” Chloe pretended to not notice the break in his voice or the tears which were now shining in those brown eyes. “But its not your fault. The fault lies in me. Daniel was right, everything I touch I ruin. My own family hates me!” He chuckled bitterly…”How can I even imagine someone else would even want to spend her life with a monster that I am.”

The anger which Chloe had previously now faded only to be replaced by true agony and guilt. “You are not the monster here Lucifer. I am.” She confessed as tears rolled down his cheeks.

Lucifer now looked horrified, “WHAT?!” Quickly he paced up to her, his hand instinctively risen to cup her cheek but he stopped at the last minute, barring himself from any physical contact. “Never think that! I said NEVER! What you did, was really the most normal reaction and honestly I am really used to it.”

“That’s the thing Lucifer! I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did! Not everyone knew you, but I did! I know you, I know who you are, I have worked with you for three years! I messed up so bad!”

“Don’t. Please.” He gritted painfully between his teeth.

“What?”

“Don’t feel guilty. At least not for me.”

The dam which she managed to keep at bay just broke and she cried out loud, clinging herself to him. Lucifer froze. Chloe was hugging him fiercely and he didn’t even know how to react. His hands were painfully by his side, he didn’t even touch her.

“And now you are leaving….How can you!? Why are you leaving!!!?” She pulled back to face him. Her face contorted in pain and anger.

“I didn’t think you wanted me in your life. And truth to be told, I was feeling suffocated in LA.” He confessed looking away from her.

“I am sorry, I am so sorry! I was not afraid of you. I was afraid of every thing that this meant. I am sorry to make you feel like that. You…you can’t do this!” She pleaded.

“Chloe-“

“Please don’t leave Lucifer.I…I love you! Please don’t go.” Chloe declared as Lucifer’s breath hitched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew...long chapter huh.  
> Pour in the comments like you always do.  
> Expect the next chapter next week.  
> Love love ^^


	16. Love is foreign

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew...another chapter done!   
> Soooo ppl i am in vacation. And that means i wont be able to update the next chapter next week.  
> SOOOOOOO SOOOORRRRYYYYY! :(   
> But good news, i am writing two more fics to satisfy your needs. ;)  
> right, dive into it then, chop chop.

“Lucifer, please don’t leave me! I- I love you!”

Chloe could have never imagined Lucifer Morningstar to be affected this much by a single sentence. Well, who could blame him? Chloe had never really thought how Lucifer’s life would be – how would it be like to become the all- powerful Devil, a celestial being Previously, she thought him to be the luckiest bastard – having tons and tons of money, a bloody club for booze, hot chicks, no responsibility and on top of that LAPD’s support for his own kick. And maybe being the Devil had its own perks – magnetism, mojo, super strength and all. But all perks had their downsides and maybe for Lucifer that ratio was unfair. On her way to the penthouse she did give it a thought. And now looking at the man in front of her – she dared to think she was lucky to _not_ be The Devil. Eons and Eons of neglect, abandonment from his family and the humanity’s blame – she wasn’t sure anyone could take it like the way Lucifer did. He was always this larger than life persona; smiling and charming his way out, but did anyone really know the true Lucifer? She wasn’t wrong in thinking that the Devil wore a façade. But she was wrong in thinking that the façade was a lie. Lucifer wore the mask of perfection, confidence, and pride but deep, deep down he was as vulnerable as anyone else – more even. Underneath that mask lay a deeply broken man, tired of taking the blames for which he had no responsibility. And she hated to think that she was also a contributor of making him feel broken.

Because Lucifer in front of her was petrified.

He was looking at her like she had grown a third head and the sight itself broke her heart. How the fuck could she ever think he was evil?! How could she be terrified of the being who was terrified of his own feelings? Chloe could not speak another word. All her voice seemed to have lost in her throat. She just kept looking at him, waiting for a reaction – any reaction. Minutes passed with them staring at each other like a slow glacier whose coldness seeped through her veins.

Any minute now. Any minute either he would flee away or maybe…maybe he would say he didn’t want her anymore. Well that was a line of thinking she didn’t want to walk on. 

When she was just about to give up, he spoke…at last. But whatever he said was far more painful than she expected. “No you don’t.” he said.

A bucket of water dropped on her head. Chloe didn’t know how to react to _this._ How do you make someone believe something when they are constantly in denial? “Yes I do!” She insisted.

Lucifer scoffed and out of all things he turned away from her, walking out in the balcony. If his earlier ‘Vegas drama’ was hurtful, this was a new definition of hurt. It was like someone just slapped her right in front of everyone, hard and cold. Lucifer had always been the one to hurt her feelings, or maybe she did it too but now at least she expected him to be a little sensible! She just expressed her feelings, lay herself vulnerable in front of him and this was what he did with it? If he would rejected her, it would have been better – but out an out ignoring her feelings, accusing her love to be lie – she never felt more insulted. How dare he do that?! The ache in her heart soon replaced with the heat simmering within. Taking long, ungraceful strides she walked to him to the balcony.

The sun was now setting, leaving the sky painted orangish with a tint of red. The twinkling city lights beneath and the horizon blended beautifully offering an aesthetic beauty. On any other day, Chloe would have taken out a second to appreciate this beauty, but now she couldn’t care less. Her sole attention was on the Devil leaning on the rails with his back to her, hopelessly lighting a cigarette with his shaking hands.

“Lucifer! I do love you! How can you question that?!” She yelled at him. This was pointless. Since morning she had been preparing for this particular love confession, tons of fantasies about how this would go swirling in her mind. She never imagined it to be like this, where the other person wouldn’t even acknowledge her presence. Had she meant this low to him? Lucifer didn’t answer that because of course he didn’t! Why would he? He was the fucking devil! He wouldn’t dignify an insignificant human with an answer on which her life depended! His silence and his back were now successfully giving her a headache and …it hurt. “So what? Am I that insignificant to you now, that you wouldn’t even look at me?”

That caught his attention, with an inhumane speed he swirled around to face her and that’s when she noticed. The otherwise dry, red ringed eyes were now swimming with unshed tears. He wasn’t ignoring her or her feelings. He was…well, she honestly didn’t have the simplest idea of what he was trying to do. He didn’t believe any of this to be true. He was hurting and that did the work. That broke her heart finally. Love was such a foreign concept to him that it terrified him. Sex, desire, anger, hatred – all of these were common to him, but Love, affection were out of his arena. She didn’t even realise her dried cheeks had gone wet again and maybe that look on her face might have given him something cause he turned back again. After seconds he turned around with dried eyes. He was trying to control his tears, or rather trying to hide his tears from her.

“Lucifer-“ she started,

“Why are you doing this to me?”

The pain and confusion laced his question so much that it was getting difficult for her not to cry again. And the worst part was he genuinely asked this question which punched her gut.

“What?” She breathed.

“One second you tell me that I am special and good, the other second you fear me, hate me even and then again now you tell me that you so called ‘love’ me.” He rolled the word ‘Love’ in his tongue in a bitter way, as if it was venom of some kind. “Make no mistake, I don’t blame you for fearing the monster that I am. But I am not some bloody elastic Detective! You can’t just stretch me like I have no emotions! Why do you keep doing this to me?!” His voice broke at the end.

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Honestly, she didn’t know what to say. _Sorry, for firing you and then coming back to say I love you? Sorry for making you feel hated while I loved you? Sorry for pushing this far?_ Every reply seemed so stupid. Lucifer for the first time was opening up to her, after all these months for silently getting tortured by her idiocy it was expected of him to voice his insecurities and pain. Could she blame him? He was never been loved without any ulterior motive perhaps – he would obviously think that she had one. When she kept mummed, he went on.

“For days Detective! For days, I have been looking at my phone, waiting for anything – a text, a call anything! I texted you so many times, but you had blocked me. Anyways. I know I shouldn’t have expecting anything, it was natural of you to cut me out but for some reason I just..” He broke off with a shudder. “I thought one day you would see the real me. I would never, NEVER harm you or your spawn, I hope you know that! But…when you didn’t, I thought I’d lost you. “ He looked down and a single tear dropped from his eyelashes. He immediately grounded his palm on his eyes wiping it off. “I thought I finally scared you to that point where you hate me.”

The revelation was like a rock, pushing her down under its weight. That’s what he thought, didn’t he? That she hated him for all these months? She knew that particular feeling very well. During Palmetto, she had a few months from her mares, where she had to work with those colleagues who hated her. She knew how that particular feeling was suffocating that it literally choked any positivity out of your throat until you were left with nothing but self-loathing and depreciating thoughts. In all these months, if Lucifer truly thought she hated him – and with her awkward behaviour around him – this was no less than a hell for him.

Shit!

She had always thought that Lucifer was acting weird because of their recent developments in their partnership; she thought he hated her but the truth was he thought _she_ hated _him_ and he was trying to give _her_ space and all the while ignored his own feelings. If those texts from him, which she never received were evidence, then the truth had been dangling in front of her and she chose to ignore it. Guilt rose up her throat like bile – raw and bitter…

“Lucifer I have never hated you! Yes I was scared but, hatred…I didn’t hate you at all!” She tried. She had explain to him. She had to break that wall of self-hatred and reach him – the real him. She would do whatever it takes.

Lucifer took a shuddering breath and pulled away from her gaze and placed them on the distant horizon. His lips turned into a grimace and he defensively crossed his arms on his chest – ‘Stay away from me’ vibe coming off him in waves and with that, came defeat, hurt and anger. “Why now detective? I am still the big bad Devil. That hasn’t changed.”

“You being the Devil doesn’t affect me anymore.” She stated. It probably was true, mostly.

“Oh really!?” He chuckled hard at that, sarcasm dripping from his tongue. Chloe thought better of flinching at that laugh, although uneasiness coiling at her gut. “I find that hard to believe given that you almost thought me as evil until today.”

“That is so not true! You can’t blame me for everything Lucifer! You can’t use me as an excuse to flame up your self hatred! I refuse to be a part of that!” Chloe yelled because _that_ was no true. She sure was scared of him, but thinking him as ‘evil’ was too much. The guilt was quickly replaced by frustration and rage. “And for your information, you don’t have the right to question my feelings for you! I know how I feel and I have felt this for a very long time, I have felt this since our first kiss, I have felt this even after you so cowardly ran away to Vegas and returned with a ditsy bimbo you called your wife, I have felt this even when I was with Pierce and I have felt this even when you were away from me, even when I thought I was scared of you. The truth is Lucifer I don’t care about you being the Devil. I am so sorry for realising that too late, but I am not scared of you anymore. Please just believe me, for once!”

Lucifer kept staring at her, searching for any signs of lie and manipulation, but Chloe kept stern – she didn’t regret saying any of the things. If the result of her love was to get burnt again, she was ready for that. It was not like Lucifer hadn’t done that before but this time if he chose to reject her, it would be solely his own decision because Chloe made it plenty clear about her feelings to him. When he didn’t find any, he sighed – a long, resigned sigh.

“Look Detective, I…I can’t lie to you and when I say nothing makes me happier to know that you love me, it’s the truth. And…but I don’t know what to feel now. It’s just a bit excessive for me. And I need some time and space to sort it out. It’s complicated and I apologize for not giving you the answer you desire.”

Chloe merely nodded not trusting her voice, she understood. She understood how he was thrown over an emotional roller coaster throughout the day and of course he would be lost and he wanted space.

“I think you should leave Detective.” He turned away from her, completely. The coldness in his voice returned but Chloe wasn’t a fool. She could figure out the hurt and turmoil of emotions the voice had. She was about to leave when she remembered the last thing.

“Lucifer, please don’t leave. Can I expect that at least?” her voice faltered. If Lucifer noticed, he didn’t comment.

“I have already given my word to your offspring Detective. I am not going anywhere, not immediately.” He sighed, refusing to turn back, to face her. And Chloe walked away in silence, the ding of the elevator piercing through the mummed environment. When the steel door separated them, both sagged onto the floor embracing the pain, the void and emptiness – one letting out in tears and the other shouting towards the skies above in a vain attempt to ease the turmoil.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Chloe was on autopilot when she reached home, keeping her keys, wallet and service weapon on the counter she walked to her daughter’s room. Trixie was supposed to be picked up by the sitter from school. Chloe found her on her desk doing homework diligently while her sitter Olga, was knitting behind her.

“hey Olga, thanks for keeping her. I can take it from now.” Chloe acknowledged and the sitter nodded. Rising from her seat she walked off the room and then the main door. Chloe waited for her to leave; only when she heard the closing of the main door she turned towards her baby, who was staring at her intently with narrow suspicious eyes.

“What?” Chloe asked.

“You have that look on your face.” Trixie answered.

“What look?”

“Like I am getting interrogated.”

Chloe smiled. It was funny how fast she had grown up and knew every little tactics of her mother. She missed her childhood days but Trixie was now in the middle school growing up as a smart, young lady and Chloe couldn’t be more proud on her daughter. “No monkey, I am not ‘interrogating’ you. I would just like to know a few things.” Chloe moved in and sat on her bed. Trixie rolled her chair back to face her. Feeling some trepidation from her daughter, Chloe hurried to assure her, “Oh baby I am not angry. I am just trying to understand a situation.”

“Oooookay..?”

“Did you meet Lucifer within these days?” Chloe asked.

Trixie put on her best innocent face to ask the most complicated question…”Like after you and Lucifer fell out?”

Did they actually fall out? Chloe made sure that he didn’t interfere with her life anymore and of course Trixie had noticed that. She even kicked Maze out of her house and she couldn’t be more upset about how she reacted to these things. She deserved this. Even if Lucifer would reject her, could she actually blame him? And honestly, she expected him to reject her eventually but she hoped that he would accept her. Lucifer’s answer was not totally hopeless – he needed time and space. At least he was not being impulsive in this case. “Umm..I….we didn’t fall out.”Under Trixie’s withering, sarcastic gaze she added, “Not completely..”

Trixie huffed first and then looked guilty. “Yes mommy.” She confessed.

“When?”

“A week ago…”

Chloe lifted her eyebrows, “So you basically sneaked out from your Dad’s place at night?”

“Maze was there with me! She would have protected me.” Trixie reasoned. Chloe knew that. Chloe knew that Maze would protect her at any cost. Chloe shook her head.

“That’s not the point monkey.” she told the girl without any anger in her voice. “I know she would have. But you know you can’t sneak out with our permission just like that. It is dangerous and I don’t want you to repeat that. Is it clear?”

“Yes mommy.” Trixie replied softly.

“Now, tell me what exactly did you tell Lucifer and why did you do what you did?” Chloe asked.

“You and Lucifer were on bad terms and you even sent Maze away and I missed both of them.” Trixie could keep the mild accusation off her voice and Chloe’s gut coiled in guilt. “I saw Maze in the precinct and she informed me that you were afraid of them because Lucifer is the Devil and Maze is a demon –“

“Wait hold on…you knew? Like you _knew_ knew?” She straightened.

“That Lucifer is the Devil and Maze is a demon? Come on Mommy, it was pretty evident from the first day itself!” Trixie huffed. “It’s not like they were discreet about it or something. Lucifer should although retrain from flashing his red eyes in public places and Maze…her demon face is so cool! You should see it someday…” And then the girl realized something, “Oh you are still scared of them I guess.”

Chloe’s jaw dropped. Her daughter knew! And Trixie didn’t react the way she did! What the bloody fuck was going on?! Linda knew – she got over it within two weeks! Trixie knew it from the very beginning and she didn’t react at all! Was she the only one who was scared of the most childish being and an aggressive, immature woman for more than one month, enough to make them leave LA?! After a minute, two actually she found the will to form words. “How long have you known?”

Trixie seemed to give it a thought before answering, “I saw Lucifer’s red eyes in the warehouse when that man kidnapped me sort of. And Maze showed her face on last Halloween. Honestly mommy, they are just Maze and Lucifer. You should not be scared of them. So what he is the Devil or she is a demon? Just think like this, the universe’s most powerful two beings are on your side! You should be the luckiest person alive. Isn’t that cool!?” Trixie beamed and Chloe lost her voice. She never imagined her daughter could be this insightful. It takes ages for a person to understand this and here she was, a 39 years old woman understanding the concept of love and friendship from her 10 years old daughter. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Though she was obviously proud of her daughter.

“I know that now monkey. Mommy messed up and…don’t worry. I am not scared of them anymore. Thanks to you.” Chloe smiled after some moments.

Trixie showed her array of white teeth in excitement, “So that means Lucifer isn’t leaving LA anymore?”

  1. How come she knew everything!? “You know about that too? Chloe asked.



“Well duh! What do you think I asked Lucifer when I met him?”

 _I gave your offspring my word…_ Chloe remembered and everything clicked on place. “So you made him stay at LA for a month?”

“Well, he was supposed to leave a week ago already. And Lucifer is soooooo stubborn, I had to take out my favour on him, only then he agreed on staying for a month. And before you ask…” Trixie raised her finger to stop Chloe, “why not ask him to stay forever, well I kinda tried and he refused so I stroke this deal instead. And I knew both of you would clear everything between you and he won’t leave.” Trixie shrugged.

Chloe couldn’t resist more, she jumped out of her bed and reached for her daughter, hugging Trixie for her dear life. “You know what monkey? You are the best.!” Chloe exclaimed.

“I know mommy!” Huh…So another lesson from Lucifer – be smug. Chloe laughed – after a horrible, exhausting day, this was what she needed. Her daughter gave her a chance and she won’t let it go in vain. She would do everything to make Lucifer believe her. She won’t let her Trixie down again. She won’t let Lucifer down again and she won’t let herself down again.

“I love you monkey.” Chloe hugged her tighter.

“I love you mommy.” Trixie hugged her back. Well…at least she got to hear that three little words, no matter from whom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so?  
> love love. :)


	17. Author's note

Okay so I have many things going around in March. I have my exams, plus my college admissions plus a ganglion surgery and I have a medical leave. So with a heavy heart I inform you that I would not be able to update a new chapter until April/last week of March. 

So so sorry guys, but one thing I will never abandon this fiction. And I will update after everything is settled here. Also doing some re-editing (since I can't write much) on the previous chapters - adding elements and more emotions. So u can always re-read them. ^_^.. 

I promise to update on April. Oh and you can follow me on Twitter @/deckerstarfanz to get more information about when I will update the fiction and what else I am writing etc. 

Thanks.   
The_LucidDreamer.


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